Helpful Hints
How to Create Community
By Morgan Stout
Why is community important? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, community provides three elements that are critical to mental health: Belonging, support, and purpose (2019). As a homeschooling family, you might be wondering how to foster connections, where to find other families, and how to find social events for yourself and for your children. In this article, we will take a look at the many ways you can get plugged in this year.
School-Sponsored Events
At Sequoia Grove we value community and hope to help facilitate connections for our families. Our library van schedule can be found on the Homeschool Helper website. While there are not park days planned for every library van day, you will often find families at the park on these days. Our family liaisons love to plan park days around the van schedule as well. Family liaisons are homeschooling families just like you, and we are on staff with the schools to support you in any way we can. By attending park days you’re bound to make initial connections and have a reliable, consistent way to meet with other families.
Field trips are another school-sponsored opportunity to connect with others. There are two different types of field trips: school-led and parent-led. HSTs and liaisons will lead field trips throughout the year, and we’d love for you to join! But don’t stop there. You’re able to continue the fun by purchasing tickets from our community partners and going on your own field trip on your own schedule. Think hiking in a state park, meeting at a museum, or trekking through the zoo! Families in the past have advertised these trips in our Facebook Community Group to ask if others would like to come along. What fun!
Speaking of the Facebook Community Group, we invite you to participate in conversation, find other homeschoolers in your area, and stay up-to-date on events on this platform. You might learn about a Sequoia Grove club you didn’t know existed, find a flyer for a Career Conversations meeting, or stumble upon a vendor you hadn’t seen before.
Community Partners
Taking classes in your community is an excellent way to make connections in the homeschool world. In my experience, our 9am weekday classes are frequented by mostly homeschooling families. My children have the opportunity to learn alongside their peers from another adult and I am free to chat with other parents or have a quiet minute to read my own books for a change. The value these programs have cannot be understated.
Events Outside of Homeschooling
By now you’ve found another homeschooling family to go on field trips with. You can share the struggles and the triumphs, and they understand what homeschool life is like. You have someone in your corner to make you feel understood, and someone to call when it’s time to pause lessons and get out of the house for a gathering. That’s amazing! Do all of your friends need to be homeschoolers? No. Teens might enjoy get-togethers with friends they used to see at school on the weekends or afternoons. You might choose a sport where they might see children from all different schooling backgrounds in the evenings. These friendships work, too! All are valuable, and they all contribute to that feeling of connection, support, purpose, and belonging.
Resources:
Gilbert, S. (2019). The importance of community and mental health. The Importance of Community and Mental Health | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
All the “Places” in One Place
I was cheering my son on by the sidelines of a soccer game recently. Another mom saw my Sequoia Grove mug and made the connection. “Oh, we’re with Clarksville!” We started to talk and she told me how excited she was to be with the school and begin her homeschool journey. Then she told him how well everything was going…except for all the places she had to go to get things done.
I was confused. Places?
“You know, sites,” she said. “There’s the ordering website, the parent portal–all that!”
Ah. I know what she’s talking about. As a fellow homeschool mom, I understand. I too have been frustrated and confused at times by all the “places” and trying to remember them.
But! I have learned a solution. Just this year, I finally found an easy way, and it’s been so nice to know what I’m doing. Some of you figured this out long ago. If that’s you, high five! You’re awesome. But, if you’re like me and it’s not obvious, read on.
The solution? A bookmark (also known as Favorites) folder. (You guys, I didn’t even know that was a thing until recently.) I love the bookmark folders! When you bookmark a website, you can create a folder to put it in–then you don’t have a long string of bookmarks going across the top of your browser. I created one called “School.” That’s it. That simple. And here’s what’s in that folder:
Parent Portal (choose school):
I don’t have to remember what the websites are called. I don’t have to go digging for an email with a link. I just click on the folder and everything I need for school is right there. This little hack has made back-to-school so much easier this year. I confess I use the lending library a lot more because it’s so fast to get to it!
So, create your bookmark folder. Add the websites. Save your passwords. When it’s time to claim attendance you’ll be all set!
Raising our Children’s Character
I ran across a startling quote in a book I was reading recently:
“‘Some people are growing children, not raising children, and there’s a big difference’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, people grow hogs. You give them a place to live; give them all the food they need to keep growing, and make sure that they don’t get sick on you. With children, you got to raise them. Of course, you feed and clothe them. But a parent has to take the time to teach them right and wrong. A parent has to discipline them. And a parent got to be there to listen to them, help them with their problems. I think most people do their best, but there are some parents these days that are growing children, not raising children.’”
-George Dawson, Life is So Good
As homeschoolers, we have the privilege of overseeing not just our children’s education, but their full character development. Personally, I think this is our hardest, and most critical, job. So take a moment and ask yourself: Are you meeting your children’s physical and mental needs only (growing), or are you feeding their characters (raising)? As George said, most people are doing their best. Sometimes we need to take a step back and contemplate: How are our children doing? Have we noticed selfishness that needs some attention? Are they respectful? Do they show bravery when called for? Do they show a reasonable amount of empathy for their age and maturity? Are they thankful, or is there whining that needs curbing? Do they demonstrate a solid work ethic and diligence?
These traits won’t just naturally happen in our kids. We need to help them grow. We can read good books that have characters that demonstrate and bring these characteristics to life. Little Britches presents our kids with an example of a hard-working, diligent kid who helps his family and overcomes many obstacles with bravery. The book or movie Wonder teaches our kids to value a person for who they are, rather than how they look. The story demonstrates kindness.
We can avoid shows and books that glorify bad traits. For example, we stopped watching the cartoon Caillou years ago, because Caillou was whiny and my littles imitated him. IYKYK I am also sensitive to shows that “expect” siblings to always be at odds with each other because I expect my kids to learn to live in peace and to love one another. It’s a tough, ongoing lesson so I don’t want to feed the “easy” negative idea that it’s not worth trying.
Here’s the catch: We can’t teach character traits that we don’t possess ourselves. So as we take an inventory of our kids, we are forced to do an uncomfortable inventory of ourselves. I can’t teach my kids patience if I don’t demonstrate it. Ouch. I can’t expect them to be diligent if I give up on projects or lessons when they’re hard. Ooph. But if I am willing to continue to grow, I give my kids a great example to follow, and they know I’m not asking something of them I’m not willing to do myself.
Not only do we sometimes have to be uncomfortable ourselves in this process, but we also have to be willing to allow our children to be uncomfortable as they grow. As parents, we don’t want our kids to struggle, but there will never be a safer place for them to learn these lessons than with us. If we don’t teach them good character traits, the world will. And the world won’t necessarily be as gentle or thoughtful as we would like.
Bringing up children is a big responsibility. Our job is so much bigger than just keeping them alive. There is plenty to prepare them for as they head toward adulthood. We even have the potential to affect generations after us and that is a sobering thought. Growing hogs would be easier, but raising children with strong characters is one of the finest gifts we could give our kids–and the world around them.