Bedroom Walls

By Erin Smith

Here, I reside within the four walls of my bedroom. I think they’re supposed to be white, but have faded into more of a cream, with spots of dirt and crayon in every corner. I like it, for the colors compliment the array of stuffed animals on the bed I confide in at night. It’s a twin, just like me. My sister is here too. Together we laugh and sing happy songs with sad lyrics. I am always supported and surrounded, never alone. We start middle school soon. I screech with excitement at the thought of getting older. Will I be pretty? Will I be skinny? Will I have a boyfriend?

Here, I reside within the four walls of my bedroom. I have painted them green, with hints of yellow throughout. It is bright and warm. The best part is that it is all mine! I have never had anything to myself before, not to mention a full-size bed! I got a comforter full of pink flowers for it. This is so much better than I ever could have expected. I wonder where everyone goes. How come my teachers keep asking me about my brother? Maybe if I paint the walls again, I will be like new too. People will notice me, want to spend time with me, care to maintain me.

Here, I reside within the four walls of my bedroom. I no longer want to face the world. I don’t know why everyone keeps leaving. I don’t know why nobody tells me what goes on. My walls are tan now, like the office that belonged to the lady who lied to me. No leaves, just dirt. I cannot trust anyone. I am unavailable, out of service, gone for lunch and never to return. Goodbye. I am locked away, secluded, isolated in my safe haven. This is where I want to be. This is where I want to stay. No one can reach me, but no one tries to anyways.

Here, I reside within the four walls of my bedroom. This is my fortress. There is an invisible barrier all around, protecting me from the outside and preventing anything from coming in. I need a distraction, so I’m going to make it blue. A nice cool blue. One that reminds me of the sky, and I’ll get a cloudlike cover for my bed. I live in the air far, far away. Or perhaps I live in the ocean, where the waves wash me free of all my cares and move louder than the constant chaos in my mind. Yes, the ocean- like the one I wept at in California. At least that’s what it was going to be like until the can spilled.

Here, I reside within the four walls of my bedroom. The days go by so fast. I adore everything about this place. The blue spot has been replaced with carpet. Every container is organized and every drawer clean. Floral aspects connect across the room, proving that there is a beautiful life even after an old one. My purple walls are decorated with scriptures framed in golden brass accents. You can breathe. You can rest. This is my most favorite room on earth. Will I have one in heaven? If I could pick mine, it would be this one. It is a blessed space. All are wanted and all are welcome.

Stranger, come in and experience the four walls. Leave with the knowledge of who you are. This room fosters growth. It cares for us as we figure things out.