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Hook 'Em
Hook 'Em
The purpose of the introduction is to give your reader a clear idea of what your essay will cover. It should provide some background information on the specific problem or issue you are addressing, and should clearly outline your answer.
The opening line or lines of an essay are the hook. These lines should “hook” the reader’s attention and make him or her want to continue reading.
Introduction
Read the two introductory paragraphs below. Which one would you be most interested in reading?
A. Have you ever wondered what it is like to be a firefighter? I have. In this essay, I am going to tell you about what I want to be when I grow up. Although I’m not an expert, I think being a firefighter would be a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. I would not mind the smoke, or carrying heavy equipment. I want someone to think of me as their hero. I am most interested in pursuing a career as a firefighter because of its promising job outlook, flexible salary, and exciting training.
B. You are trapped in a burning building. You are alone. You do not know what started the fire, but you know how it will end if you do not get out. As the smoke begins to enter your lungs, you see a dark glove grab you by the arm. This man has just saved your life and you do not even know his name. That is because he is a firefighter. Firefighters put their life in danger every day in order to help keep others save. That is why I have a lot of respect for them, and want to be one when I grow up. I am most interested in pursuing a career as a firefighter, because of its overall interesting overview, decent salary, and physically-demanding training.
What to Avoid in your Introduction
What to Avoid in your Introduction
1. Avoid telling the reader that you are beginning your essay
“In this essay, I will discuss…”
“I will talk about…”
“I am going to prove…”
2. Do not apologize in your paper
“Although I am not an expert…”
“In my humble opinion…”
3. Do not refer to later parts of your essay
“By the end of this essay one will agree…”
“In the next paragraph people will see…”
4. Do not make your introduction too long
This paragraph usually needs a little more than half as many sentences as your body paragraphs. 5-7 sentences is a good balance.
What to Try in your Introduction
1. Begin with a strong “hook” to capture your reader’s attention.
- Identify the hook in paragraph B above
2. Provide a little background about your career.
- A basic definition of what someone in that career does for a living
- Identify the background provided in paragraph B above
3. Briefly explain why this topic interests you.
- Identify this explanation provided in paragraph B above
4. End with your thesis statement which follows the required formula.
- purpose + topic + subtopic 1 + subtopic 2 + subtopic 3
- Identify this explanation provided in paragraph B above
5 Great "Hook" Types & Ideas
1. Anecdote: An anecdote is a personal story that is related to the topic of your essay. Your anecdote may be true or mostly true, but should be entirely believable. The purpose of the story is to get your reader ready for your essay, not to make them confused.
Example: You are trapped in a burning building. You are all alone. You do not know what started the fire, but you know how it will end if you do not get out. As the smoke begins to enter your lungs, you see a dark glove grab you by the arm. This man has just saved your life and you don't even know his name. That is because he is a firefighter.
2. Rhetorical Question: When writing a question, try to create a picture in the reader’s mind that relates to your topic. A rhetorical question is a statement in the form of a question. You ask the reader a rhetorical question to make a point, not to get an answer. Words like who, what, when, where, why, is, how, or are at the beginning of the sentence.
Example: Who wouldn’t love to wake up every morning to get paid for doing something they love? In my eyes, that’s what professional athletes get to do. Professional football players …
3. Quote: When writing a quote, it can be a direct quotation from a book, TV show, movie, or a famous person.
Example: Albert Einstein once said, “It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.” That’s what I want to do for little kids—help them find their creative expression through art, and to teach them about the artists that inspired me. Art teachers …
4. Startling Statistic: Statistics show relationships with numbers. Find a surprising statistic involving your topic
Example: Close to 120 million people visited a United States hospital emergency room in 2013 alone; that’s over 300,000 each day! If it weren’t for the 2.8 million registered nurses who helped them heal, those patients may have never recovered. Last year, I was among those 120 million, and I was fortunate to have caring, knowledgeable and hard-working nurses by my side. That’s why I want to help others in the same way they helped me. A career in nursing…
5. Dialogue: Dialogue features two or more people talking.
Example: “What do you want to do when you grow up, Sarah?” My family used to always ask me this when I was younger. “I want to go to the moon!” I’d say. “Well, I guess you’ll have to get over your fear of flying then,” my mom would tease. But as I got older, I realized, maybe I flying to the moon wasn’t for me after all; I want to be the person who sends someone else up there instead! Aeronautic engineers …
Writing Assignment
ASSIGNMENT
- Open your Personal Assessment document and your Rough Draft document
- Highlight and copy your Personal Assessment paragraph.
- Paste it at the beginning of your Rough Draft document. Make sure that the formatting is fixed - paragraphs should be indented, there should be a no extra spaces between paragraphs.
- Your Personal Assessment is now the beginnings of your Introductory paragraph. Review the information in this unit and make changes to your paragraph so that you can hook the reader.
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