Leaders are responsible for those in their care.

Learning to assume ‘Just Right Responsibility’ is a key skill for leaders. By this, I mean understanding the things we are responsible for, the things we can only influence, and letting go of the things beyond our control. Finding the balance of what we are legitimately responsible for and what we are not is a very difficult line to navigate. There are a number of traps that can cause us to either avoid responsibility altogether or take responsibility for things that are not ours to own.

When you assume too little, you are failing those in your care. You make excuses to absolve yourself of responsibility. This can look like ‘this is how we have already done it’ to ‘that's just how it works.’ While change is difficult, it is not impossible. Systems, procedures and policies were all created by people, and as such, can be changed by people. They may not be able to be changed by a single person, but that person can get the process started. 

As a counter-point, taking on too much responsibility, especially for things that are legitimately outside your control, can lead to burnout and frustration. 

How we spend our time speaks to the things we think are our responsibility and those that are not. One of the traps that we can fall into to avoid responsibility is saying we do not have time to address it. While it is true that time is limited, how we choose to spend it speaks to our priorities. As such, those are the things that we spend the time on. To be clear, I am agreeing that we cannot do it all and that we need to set boundaries for ourselves in how much of our day we are committing to work. What I want to highlight is that confusing ‘no time’ with ‘not a priority’ can muddy our thinking and cause important issues to be put off indefinitely. 

As leaders, we have a responsibility to listen at all levels to those in our care. This is how we help to ground ourselves in their day-to-day realities, which in turn makes us better equipped to lead. 

A trap to be mindful of is that some may equate listening with action. Listening is a leader’s best skill. However, you can listen to someone without agreeing with their point of view. Similarly, you can listen to someone suggest a course of action, and choose not to follow that. In these instances, it is important to acknowledge their feelings and to clarify your own thinking. Being silent and making them think you agree, and then doing something else, can feel like dishonesty. 

Similarly, we can be empathetic in the conversation, but if that does not lead to actionable change then it can feel very much like empty platitudes. If you agree that something needs to change, then you have an obligation to take action or advocate for that change. We can continue to advocate, while tempering our expectations. 

The hard part of all of this is balancing the personal interest against the interests of others. There is often a vested interest in not making waves or rocking the boat as we feel it may not look as good to our own bosses or supervisors. As such, sometimes pushing for the changes we discussed can lead to negative repercussions for ourselves. While I understand that sentiment, I do believe that leaders lead, and leadership often requires hard choices. When we prioritize our own interests over those we lead, we start down a dangerous path. Ignoring or not taking action when issues arise because we are concerned it will make us look bad is us avoiding our responsibility to those we serve. 

I think that we have an obligation to push for important pieces, and it’s okay to temper our response to pieces that are not as important. The hard part here is deciding which are which. In education, students need adults to advocate for them, so advocating strongly for those that can’t do so for themselves is one of the responsibilities we have. Also, things that affect the group as a whole I think are worth pushing for. 

Not everyone will agree with all the decisions you make, and while you are responsible for your own decisions and choices, you are not responsible for the response or feelings of others. A conversation that goes badly despite your best efforts, a parent who is upset with a well-thought-out decision, or a student who feels they are being treated unfairly because there are consequences for their actions are all examples where the response is out of your control. While you are responsible for how a message is delivered, you are not responsible for how it is received. 

Knowing what we should own as leaders, what we can influence and what we need to let go of is a key skill in sustainability in our roles. We can control our own actions, and we must always be aware that as leaders, we affect those in our care so we have an obligation to them. However, this is not an all-encompassing obligation where we are responsible for the happiness of everyone. Striking the balance and getting that ‘just right’ responsibility is an ongoing process that we must never stop reflecting on.