My blog this week is looking at Family-Teacher Conferences, which have been an educational tradition for years. While there are debates on the effectiveness of them or that there should be a reformatting of how they work, communication with parents about their kids will always be an integral part of our roles as educators. 

Working with families can feel intimidating for some, especially for new teachers. Many have heard horror stories of parents that can be difficult to work with. For myself, one of my first interactions at a Family Teacher Conference was with a parent who was a lawyer and I felt like I was on the stand being grilled by the prosecution. 

This being said, for the most part, parents are lovely who just want the best for their kids, no different from us. We may sometimes disagree on what that is, but so long as they know you are in their corner you can generally work together to find common ground. As some friendly advice, here are some tips that can help make these parent meetings smoother:

• Start and end on a positive note. All children have strengths. Some may be academic, some social or some behavioural. Be sure you have some good things to talk about.

• Take a collaborative approach in that you are working together to help the student. It should not be you vs them. 

• Avoid discussing another child with a parent. Eg. Bruce can’t concentrate because Owen keeps picking at him. All parents have an expectation that their child is not discussed with another parent.

• Be prepared. Have samples of student work to praise success or highlight concerns. If a student is missing work, have the missing work prepared to give to the guardian. Anticipate concerns so you have ready answers.

• Be mindful of ‘teacher speak.’ We use a lot of shorthand and terms that are widely understood in education but may not be by parents. Speak clearly and plainly so parents understand what you are saying. Clear is kind.

• Avoid suggesting programming changes. It is fine to highlight difficulties with their progress but program changes go to the Program Planning Team and we do not want to make suggestions that we cannot follow through on.

• Similarly asking about medication or getting a student assessed. Outline the difficulties and what you have seen, but refrain from suggesting they take medication or be assessed as this can be a difficult subject for some. Let them draw their own conclusions. If parents open the door to it though, it is probably fine to talk about it. 

• If you have a reason to suspect the meeting might be hostile, invite admin, guidance, or another teacher who works with the class to the meeting as well so you are not alone. Be sure to try and stay on point, stick to data and evidence rather than rely solely on opinion. 

• Take a quick moment between meetings to mentally hit the reset button. Your last meeting has nothing to do with your next meeting.

• Be mindful of your body language and tone. When meeting with parents I like to sit next to them rather than across from them whenever able (we are on the same side of the table which gives the impression of being on the same side). Similarly, I try to keep my arms wide and and hands on the table rather than folded and closed off which gives the impression of resistance. 

• Be professional and be student-centered. Yes, a student can make things difficult for you, but the parent is not there to talk about your workload, they are there to talk about their child.

While you may feel that you don’t need to talk to some parents because they are doing well, keep in mind it is likely because they are so involved that the student is doing well. Besides, it is way nicer to talk to parents about how great their child is rather than the alternative.

Whatever your relationship with the student, they are someone’s child, and they have sent the best ones they have. It is important to keep that perspective in mind.