Some advice I was given years ago by a former Director of Schools was to Ask the Second Question.

Too often we may be out and about in our schools and we ask how someone is, they give a polite response and ask us the same and then we move on. An exchange might look like:

Principal: Hey how are you?

Teacher: Fine, and you?

Principal: Doing great.

And that’s it, that’s the exchange. It is difficult to know if this was just polite manners or guinea interest. There was some familiarity building, which is good too, but very little relationship building. 

Now let’s try again.

Principal: Hey how are you?

Teacher: Fine, and you?

Principal: Doing great. Anything interesting happening in your life lately?

This time, we are set for a real conversation and real relationship building. They may not have time to answer in depth but the fact that you asked about them shows that you have a genuine interest in them (it should be obvious that you do actually need to be interested in their answer). 

Asking the second question can be especially powerful when you are trying to coach or nudge a teacher in their pedagogy. 

Principal: I loved that lesson, where did that come from?

Teacher: Oh something I saw online and thought I would try

Principal: That’s great, how did you adapt it for your class?

The conversation could have easily ended by simply nodding when they answered and moving on. But by asking that second question you can engage as a pedagogical leader. In this example, asking the question in that way shows that you believe that lessons need to be adapted to each class individually rather than simply plugging something in as is. If they respond that they didn’t, it invites a conversation into why that is important, if they did, they it invites a deeper conversation into that particular class and highlights how that particular teacher thinks and interacts with their class. You may discover hidden talents or strengths of that teacher that you may want to leverage later.

Unfortunately, there will be times that you will be in the middle of something and don’t have time to ask that second question. It is likely that this happens many times in the run of a day, you may even have a response that starts to sound like a catchphrase (full disclosure, I am sometimes guilty of this when I unfortunately in the middle of something and something asks me how I am they are more than likely to get ‘Lovin’ Life’ from me).

It’s okay if you don’t always have the time, school’s are busy places and if you don’t have the time to really delve into the conversation then you are better off not starting and then abandoning it quickly, that simply brings it back to the level of polite interest rather than genuine interest. But you can make time for it in your week similar to how you make time for other things. Schedule in time to walk through the hallways and interact with your staff. It is just as valuable as time spent doing other things (probably more valuable than some tasks). Developing your people and creating authentic relationships is the work of instructional leaders and this is an easy tool to help you do that.