This one is a question for school leaders…

Where do you have lunch?

Many school leaders reading this will probably say something like ‘when the students leave’ or, ‘I haven’t had a lunch break in years.’

While I definitely understand that busy schools mean there are a lot of demands on the time of leaders, I would argue that the time spent having lunch with staff is equally important. Yes, this is also time that many spend on duty interacting with students (which is also a good use of time), but you can do that at almost any point in the day, it is difficult to find time to connect with the adults in your building when they aren’t teaching sometimes. You may also use the time to try and catch up on paperwork, send emails or make phone calls. Or, you may simply need a break to recharge from all the people and things that need your attention.

But, consider the benefits of having lunch with your staff. You can interact with them during some downtime, get to know them as people which helps to build familiarity and trust. You learn about them more as people since those conversations tend to be informal and organic, perhaps you learn that someone was up all night with a new baby (bonus points later if you have a substitute teacher available to cover the teacher for a period), or a birthday is coming up, or what they did on the weekend. Knowing these things shows that you care about your staff as people, which in turn makes them more willing to follow you.

There are times I also like to float ideas out informally to see what the reception to them would be before asking in an official meeting. There was a teacher I taught with for many years who liked to challenge and push the thinking of anything new, so by the time my lunchtime conversation was done, I had many points of view I hadn’t considered and was ready for them when the idea was presented to staff.

Some leaders feel that it is important to maintain a professional distance from staff, thinking that if there are hard conversations later they are that much harder when there is a personal component of it. I couldn’t disagree more with this line of thinking though. In my experience, the hard conversations are a little less difficult when you are having them with someone who knows you and trusts you so they can more readily understand where you are coming from. The psychological safety is higher which makes for a better discussion for both parties. 

Staff rooms often have a reputation for being negative places since some believe the staff room is a place to let teachers vent. While venting can be helpful in getting something off your chest, it becomes a problem when we wallow in that negativity rather than provide support and positivity. So this gives me more incentive to spend time there, not less. Personally, I don’t want negative spaces in my school so if people want to be negative they can find a different space away from others to do that. If they need to vent then I can listen, support, and try to help that teacher rather than let the negative wash over everyone else. This way, other teachers in the room who may not want to be subjected to it don’t have to bathe in it.

Oh, and one last benefit to making time to have lunch with your staff, is that you actually get to eat lunch! Taking care of your physical needs such as nutrition and drinking plenty of water is important since you are no good to anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself. This also models the self-care you ought to be promoting to your own staff.

Maybe you can’t have lunch every day with staff, but there is nothing stopping you from scheduling it once a week (try to pick different days so you can see different people). Let someone else take the lead in the office during that time and let some students or situations wait for a while until you come back. Sit down, enjoy your food, and get to know the people you work with, the other stuff will still be there after lunch.