One of the inherent parts of being in school is navigating student behaviour. When students find themselves in the office, my immediate thought now becomes, “Is this a Discipline issue, a Regulation issue, or a Guidance issue?” because an understanding of the differences in these three types of behaviours tempers my response. 

A Guidance issue is one that may or may not need my personal attention, and is probably better suited to a guidance counsellor or possibly another teacher who can do some focused work with them around the issue. These issues often include: friends not getting along, feeling overwhelmed, or stressed out, or some other issue that is fairly significant to the student, but may not affect anyone else. These certainly don’t tend to warrant disciplinary consequences so oftentimes these are a redirect to the appropriate person. If there is no one else available, then it may be providing a quiet space, listening or validating some of their concerns, or making a plan to address it when someone else is available. 

With regards to Regulation issues, generally a student has been in a state of dysregulation and just needs someone to work through it with them until they can become regulated again (I call this getting their head back on). To be clear, that person definitely had to leave the space they were in because part of being dysregulated often means being disruptive, but there are many times that they don’t need to leave the school itself. If they can get regulated again then the issue is more or less solved. It is highly unlikely that the actions that they took were intentional and so leveraging disciplinary action often doesn’t make sense. We are essentially penalizing them for something they couldn’t control. This being said, there are many times when I will keep them from that space that provoked the stress response. This is meant to help them stay regulated (such as an alternative setting) and if that’s not going to work, sometimes I do call home and let their parents know that today isn’t working and will likely lead to conflict. When I make this call it isn’t punitive and is meant to be supportive as it recognizes the student is in distress and there is unlikely to be much learning for them today. Instead, this is meant to be a preventative step and help give the student what they need rather than a disciplinary suspension. The interesting thing is that again it may not actually need me, but rather any adult with a solid connection to the student who can guide them back to calm (though I actually enjoy being a part of this process so I am usually quick to jump in). 

Discipline issues are when students are intentionally causing harm to others, and they tend to accompany disciplinary actions a little more readily than the first two cases. In these instances there is still likely some education and empathy building that is needed, but ultimately that student made a choice with a relatively rational mind, so I do feel that sometimes disciplinary responses such as detentions and suspensions are a little more warranted. This being said, if these measures are not deterrents and the same student keeps getting suspended over and over again, it is time to try a new strategy which can involve a larger team to help develop a plan. 

While it can be messy sometimes identifying which of these three a student needs, student behaviour should never be about an adult versus a student. It should be about identifying the problem the student is facing and working together to solve it. There are times that there are calls for ‘consequences’ when what is really meant is ‘punishment’ for the sake of winning a power struggle. This is rarely productive and the moment that an adult enters into a competition like that, they have lost anyhow regardless of the outcome. It is important to remember that students are not smaller adults who have fully formed understandings and executive functioning. The best of us did some things in our youth that we probably would not repeat as adults simply because we have grown and matured.

I have always maintained with students that the office is a place to get help. This sometimes includes ice and band-aids, a safe space, or helping them to work through poor decisions. Kid gloves are always a best first approach for students, after all, if we don’t use them when it comes to kids, who exactly are they meant for?