This technique takes a lot of patience and may require more than 1 session to find out the underlying reasons for using the inappropriate language

Teachers can:

1. Remove student from situation to talk about the issue so that the student does not feel he/she is being embarrassed

2. Remain cool, calm, collected, and use a neutral tone when students are oppositional, defiant, aggressive, agitated

3. When a student is emotionally upset, hurt, etc, use an empathetic tone and body language. Keep responses brief, succinct, and to the point. Avoid lecturing or going on and on.

4. Use reflective listening “I am hearing that you feel this assignment is unnecessary”, “I hear you telling me that he took your toy away”

5. Ask open ended questions

6. Validate student’s feelings:

   • Aggression: “I know that you got mad after that”

   • Sadness: “ I can see you are sad about this”

   • Anxiety: “When you tap your feet, I’m guessing you are worried about the test”

7. Teach alternatives:

   • “Tell me some things you could have done differently” “The next time, you get mad, try walking away and taking a break”

   • “When you get worried about your tests, try to think of all the tests you’ve taken and done great on”