Success criteria:
I can develop a problem using a trigger, failed attempt and (complication).
I can add details using the EAST strategy - emotions, adjectives / adverbs, speech, thought
A proud moment
As a passionate cyclist, I had always dreamed of participating in a competitive cycling event. The opportunity finally presented itself when I learned about a local cycling competition that was being held in my town. I trained rigorously for months, determined to give it my all and make the most of this opportunity.
On the day of the competition, I woke up early and prepared myself mentally and physically. The sun was just beginning to rise as I made my way to the starting point. The atmosphere was electric as cyclists from all over the region gathered to participate in the event. I could feel the excitement building within me as I got ready to compete.
The race began and I quickly found myself amongst the leaders. I pushed myself harder than ever before, determined to keep up with the other cyclists. The course was challenging, with steep inclines and hairpin turns that tested our skills and endurance. However, I refused to give up and continued to push forward.
As we approached the final stretch of the competition, I was neck and neck with two other cyclists. The crowd was cheering us on as we raced towards the finish line. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I dug deep and gave it my all.
In the end, I crossed the finish line first, winning the competition by just a fraction of a second. The joy and sense of accomplishment that washed over me were indescribable. I had trained for months and given it my all, and it had all paid off.
I stood on the podium, feeling proud of my achievement as the medal was placed around my neck. The sense of pride and accomplishment that came with winning the cycling competition was one that I would never forget. It was a moment that I would always cherish and a reminder that with hard work, determination, and dedication, anything was possible.
A proud moment
It was a beautiful sunny day, and the sun was shining bright. The perfect day for a swimming competition. I had been training hard for months, and I was determined to make this competition my best one yet. As I got ready to dive into the pool, I could feel the excitement building inside me.
The starter's gun went off, and I pushed off from the starting block. The water was cool and refreshing, and I felt my body slicing through it with ease. I was in the zone, focused on nothing but the race ahead of me. Stroke by stroke, I made my way down the pool, and I could see my competitors out of the corner of my eye.
As I neared the finish line, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I kicked harder, and my arms moved faster, propelling me forward. And then, in an instant, it was over. I had touched the wall, and I knew I had won.
I looked up at the scoreboard, and there it was, my name in first place. A huge smile spread across my face, and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I had worked so hard for this moment, and it was finally here.
As I climbed out of the pool, I could hear the cheers of my family and friends. They were all so proud of me, and I felt a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that I had made them happy.
That day, I had achieved something that I never thought was possible. I had pushed myself to the limit and come out on top. It was a proud moment that I will never forget, and it has motivated me to keep striving for excellence in all areas of my life.
Editing a narrative
7 March 2023
Read the composition.
Improve the storyline by developing the problem - add a trigger, problem, failed attempt, (complication).
Use EAST strategy to improve the content.
Choose a different coloured font to show your changes.