Disrespect

Your child may:

  • Frequent engagement of confrontation

  • Not following directions when given

  • Frequent talking back to adults

  • Dismissive

  • Often frustrated

  • Always feel they are right

  • Unwilling to consider others’ ideas and opinions

Possible Supports or Interventions

Read Alouds

Avoid Power Struggles

  • This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk

  • Keep responses brief, to the point, and succinct, and avoid lecturing, talking at length, or patronizing

  • Use a calm and neutral tone

  • DO NOT match the emotional level of the student, rather remain calm, cool, and collected

  • State the expectation, then walk away

  • Offer several choices, give a timeline to decide within, and walk away

  • Try stating the expectation and consequence, tell the student the choice is theirs, and walk away

  • Try re-direction if student is able to be de-escalated

  • Remove the child from situation and discuss the issue after time to calm down

  • Use reflective listening “I am hearing that you feel this assignment is unnecessary”

  • Ask open ended questions

  • Use body language that represents openness: If sitting keep legs uncrossed and lean toward the student, If standing keep arms uncrossed and legs open (people often mirror their emotional response with others’ body language, behavior, and words)

  • Use humor

  • Validate your child's feelings

  • Tell your child you want to hear what they have to say, but you both need a break or breather before talking

  • If your child argues or engages in conflict on purpose and with intentionality, tell the student you will talk with them later when they can do so appropriately and walk away or state the expectation and walk away

  • Try keeping a list of rules and expectations on the wall or other visible location, and when the child attempts to engage you in conflict, simply point to the appropriate and relevant expectation on the list and walk away

Positive Praise

  • Praise, according to research, should be given in a ratio of at least 4 praises to 1 criticism

  • When your child displays positive or productive behaviors, actions, skills, characteristics, etc, or appear to need some encouragement, etc, verbally praise the student and/or give them a high-five, pat on the back, clap, exclamation, cheer, hop, etc

  • Praise can be verbal or physical (like pat on the back, fist pump, head nod, hop, jump, etc)

  • When delivering praise, use direct eye contact, positive demeanor, open body position, and get to the level of the student if possible

  • Make praises specific, personalized, and individualized

  • Repeat praises if your child seems unconvinced at the first stating of the praise

  • Restate praises in different ways to get the point across