Aggression

Teach Replacement Behaviors

Take Away Privileges or Take Away Unstructured/Free Time

• Use a calm and neutral tone in a matter-of-fact way

• Give the student choices, for example:

  • Billy, you can either stop turning around and talking and complete your work, or you can sit in time out during recess, the choice is yours

• Clearly state the privilege to be taken away, when it will occur, and for what duration

• Discuss briefly with the student what they will need to do differently next time to keep their privilege

Talk One On One

• This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk

• Remain cool, calm, collected, and use a neutral tone when students are oppositional, defiant, aggressive, agitated, etc.

• When your child is emotionally upset, hurt, etc, use an empathetic tone and body language

• Keep responses brief, succinct, and to the point

• Avoid lecturing or going on and on

• Try re-direction if your child is able to be de-escalated

• Use reflective listening “I hear you telling me that he took your toy away”

• Ask open ended questions

• Use body language that represents openness: If you are sitting, keep legs uncrossed and lean toward the person; If you are standing, keep arms uncrossed and legs open—people often mirror their emotional response with others’ body language

• Use humor

• Validate student’s feelings:

  • Aggression: “I know that you got mad after that”

  • Sadness: “ I can see you are sad about this”

  • Anxiety: “When you tap your feet, I’m guessing you are worried about the test”

  • Confrontation: “I need to talk to you about your calling your friend a name”

• Teach alternatives:

  • “Tell me some things you could have done differently” “The next time, you get mad, try walking away and taking a break”

  • “When you get worried about your tests, try to think of all the tests you’ve taken and done great on”