Defiance

Your child may:

  • Engage others in arguments and conflicts

  • Unwillingly let issues go or drop them

  • Dislike being told what to do

  • Do the opposite of what told

  • Only do tasks or activities they like or enjoy

  • Tantrums and meltdowns when told to do something

Possible Supports or Interventions

Read Alouds

  • Studies indicate a 5:1 ratio, or, 5 confirmations, praise and approvals for every 1 criticism or disparagement.

  • When a child is seen behaving appropriately, paying attention, being on task, prepared for work, sitting quietly, being kind to others, etc, make a remark to the student about how happy or proud you are to see what they are doing appropriately. You could also say to the student, “Good Job”, “I like what you are doing”, “You are doing ________ so well!”, etc.

  • IMPORTANT! When giving praise, it is essential that you display a positive affect or demeanor while doing so. Express excitement and that you are pleased. This will increase the effectiveness of the technique.

Give Choices

How do I do it:

  • Speak in calm, neutral tone

  • Provide the child with two or more choices that you will fully accept, for example, “you can either do your work sitting at your desk or sitting at the table”

  • Have the child decide in ten seconds, or you will choose for them, for example, “I gave you several choices. If a choice isn’t made within 10 seconds, I will choose for you” (this prevents the choosing process from going on all day)

  • Present with choices, for example, “You can either do the odds or evens, you choose”

  • Give choices when rewarding, for example, “Johnny, do you want computer time or a fancy pencil?”

  • Depending on the situation, need, and child, there are numerous ways to teach kids coping skills

  • Always try to use active listening skills

  • Use a clam tone

  • Be firm when necessary and set boundaries

  • Use support and resources below for specific lesson plans, ideas, strategies, and skills

Structured Routines & Visual Schedules

  • You can write your schedule on the board daily, crossing off events as they occur

  • You can provide your child with an individual schedule on their desk daily, having them cross off events as they occur

  • The schedule can include pictures as well as words

  • You can also add a timer for each topic, providing student with a time frame for each subject

  • A routine wheel can be utilized whereby the days routine is represented on pie sections of the wheel, and a spinning arm in the center is turned to point to the current event or task in the routine

  • Engage your child in keeping track of where they and the class are in the daily routine

  • Ask your child what is next in the routine and remind them when a period is ending soon

  • Colors, shapes, and other similar things can be used to symbolize the various parts of the routine, for example, yellow card is reading period, red card is history period, etc

  • Visual Schedule Template 1

  • Visual Schedule Template 2