Nathaly Lopez
Shin Up
Daughter listen
Valleys of scorching rocks,
stepping on the sharp, edgy
cruel splinters of life
No bread nor water in the shabby
cruddy table of my pops
No bunk nor pillow for my head to rest
Stony , sandy, and chalky floors
You may ask where my bunk was
brownish, stiff, pungent cardboard my bunk was
Life’s no sunshine , nor gazing rainbow colors
It ain’t blossoming, sprouting as daisies
in Spring
It ain’t as mirthful and gleeful
As Christmas
It ain’t as blue and vast as the sky
It ain’t as magical as colorful wings of fairies
Life’s no enchanted, jolly, chirpy paradise
But you shin up girl, shin up
Shin up as the eagle reinvigorate their beak
in ache
Shin up as the witty lifeless dull trees
blossom leafs in their branches after
a harsh winter
Shin up as the defenseless frail larva does
in metamorphosis
Shin up as your mother did when she walked
in the valley of drought and dark shadows
Shin up my daughter, shin up
because ain’t no one who do it for you
ANXIETY
My eyes deep opened, looking at the coved dark ceiling
I stare at the gloomy sky; hear the resounding of the clock ticking
Anxiety wakes me up at the most soundless, daunting time of
midnight
She calls me at 3 am with her mocking, mingy, daring voice
She teases me into her parody of worries
A never ending cycle of desperation and affliction
An obscure, mucky tunnel without a departure door it feels like
I glance again at my surroundings and the flooring takes a twist
The world rotates, fast rapid motion of confusion
Sitting in a table where the blade is pointing at me
Pinned to the wall, incarcerated in her asperous prison
Visualizing the most dimness panoramas
A nervous tick, hand shaking
leg shaking or foot shaking sometimes
An involuntary move that takes me to a bit of relief
Coping this disturbing, evocative feeling by distracting myself with sleep and
novels
A coping mechanism that helps but doesn’t
get rid of it
An outcast of society is how it feels
Not excluded by the world but excluded by my own self
And of course
Supported by her, she haunts, she mocks
She whispers and mimics vulnerability in my ears
Anxiety
She wakes me up from my dreams to front me
about my fears
A mother's love
I feel a long throbbing pelvic pain, insomniac every night
My eyes widened
tilting all night long
My days lasting longer than usual, a longing in my soul to fulfill
Magnetism from the heart to the womb
From the first palpitation of your heart
to the very first time I saw your precious eyes
My love is Strong as the thunder but tender as a crystal glass
Strong as consuming flames of fire but peaceful as the fable
Strong as a wild mama bear with her cubs in front of a predator
but loving as an eagle hunting for her eaglets
My love is deep as the ocean floors
strong waves of unconditional love that drags seas
an immeasurable amount of depth that lies beneath the surface
Willing to give every ounce of strength in my body
to have a heart beating with a smile
To lose everything that surrounds me
but to have you blossoming day by day
A powerful force of raging waves, crashing one another
Irreplaceable, incomparable
A mother’s love is unconditional