Big Mean Things That Aren’t True: When someone gets really mad and says hurtful things that aren’t true. (For example, “you’re not my friend anymore!”)

Body Language: The body postures (head, face, arms, torso, legs) that convey emotion

Boomerang: A communication tool to follow the “Golden Rule”—treat others the way you want to be treated instead of saying or doing what they said or did to you (yell, grab, use hurtful words). With Boomerang you use a Talking Voice, Face and Words in response to being treated unkindly. This tool often cools down the situation so the emotional moment can be resolved quickly and peacefully.

Bounce Back: When a child does not fall apart when feeling disappointed or frustrated, but instead copes and rebounds.

Calm-Down Breath: Strategy of taking a deep breath to calm feelings before speaking and/or acting

Calm-Down Strategies: These are strategies that children select that will help them calm down when feeling upset emotions. Strategies could include: counting to 10; taking deep breaths; relaxing tight muscles in arms and hands; squeezing a stress ball; kneading clay; visualizing a peaceful place; rubbing a smooth stone; wiggling a pipe cleaner; writing in my journal; getting up and walking; and others.

Communication Tap: A light, gentle tap on the shoulder of another person as a way to get their attention.

Eye contact: Looking at others’ eyes when listening and talking

Facial Expression: When eyes, mouth and face posture show an emotion

Fighting Body: A tight and tense body position

Fighting Face: A pinched, mean and scary face

Fighting Voice: A loud and hurtful tone of voice that conveys aggressiveness

Friendly Signals: Using gestures and words to convey friendliness; eye contact, head nod, smile, wave, pat on the back

Helping Words: Positive words that resolve feelings and conflicts

Hurting Words: Negative or loaded words that create upset feelings

Knowing Look: Nonverbal peaceful communication tool to ask people to stop a hurtful behavior. Shake your head “no” and give eye contact and a facial expression that says, “That’s not nice. Don’t.”

Know When to Be Silly and When to Be Serious: A way to help children differentiate between times to be silly and times to be serious

Kotowaza: A Japanese word for a wise wisdom. Used as self-talk statements to promote positive behavior.

Name it: State the obvious, for example: 1) describe exactly what you said and/or did that was not okay; 2) explain yourself (I get bossy when I feel cranky; I feel excited, so I’m talking really fast); or 3) share a unique quality about yourself (I’m colorblind; I’m adopted)

Negative self-talk: When we say things in our head that don’t help us. For example, “I can’t do this.” Or “This is too hard.”

Not Now Signal: A nonverbal strategy so children can realize they interrupted. Place your pointer finger between your ear and the person you can’t give your attention to, do not make eye contact, wait

Ouch: Said in a soft voice with hurt facial expression to let someone know in a gentle, shame free way that they hurt your feelings.

Own it: Bravely apologizing for unkind words and actions; taking full responsibility with no excuses. This strategy is paired with the Name It strategy.

Positive Self-Talk: The talk you use inside your head. Positive self-talk is encouraging talk such as: "I think I can; I have done hard things before; I can do this.”

Re-Do: To begin again and do words and actions over in a more positive way

Say what you see: When you name a person’s feelings that you observe as a way to help that person feel better (“You look sad. Can I help?”)

Serious Face: Wide eyes and raised eyebrows that communicate that what you are saying is important. Use a serious face when you want to send an “I Mean It” message without being mean

Serious Voice: Slow, stretched speech that communicates your message is important; Use a serious voice when you want to send an “I Mean It” message without being mean

Stop Hands: Hold hands up near face in a friendly way. These hands say “Please stop” in a nonverbal way

Take-Back: When you start over after making a communication mistake.

Take the time to be kind: Never miss a chance to include and be kind to others

Talking Body: A open and relaxed body that conveys respect and self-control

Talking Face: Relaxed eyes, brows, and mouth that convey respect and self-control

Talking Hand: Put your hand out palm up; use your other hand to tap your open palm; wait patiently for the person to return object; say thank you with eye contact when they do.

Talking Voice: A calm tone of voice, slightly slowed down, with appropriate volume that conveys respect and self-control

Use your eyes and ears to be kind: Look and listen for the signs that someone is feeling left out

© 2012 Kimochis® / Plushy Feely Corp. www.kimochis.com