Japanese Shinto Weddings

Introduction

In all cultures, family is a major part of people's daily lives. Making a family usually holds three major aspects: (1) Picking a mate/spouse, (2) a marriage (can be legally enforced), and (3) the birthing and raising of children. In this case, we will focus on marriage, specifically wedding ceremonies.

Japan is no different in this regard. With the culture's interesting mix of stereotypical strict East Asian values and stereotypical "free" Western values, often times traditions find themselves thrown into the modern era and have no choice but to evolve. But, before one can dive right into such a complex topic, one must become familiar with what "Japan" actually is and what is is not.

However, before we begin, some warnings need to be given:

1) Ethnocentrism - In layman terms, this is seeing a different culture as "weird," and seeing one's own culture as "proper," and "normal" (whatever normal means…). Japan's culture has evolved for hundred, thousands of years even, and what it was 500 years ago, what it is today, and what it will be 500 years later are completely different. A cultural practice that one deems weird could be something that has only been happening recently, and could be gone within the next 30 or something years. As you read, try to keep this in mind. Nothing is weird or normal, only different. (Keep in mind, there is a difference between cultural relativism and moral relativism. One's moral opinions on something is fine, as long as it does not impede a comparison of cultures.)

2) Generalizations - This one may be a larger problem within this article when compared to ethnocentrism, so this warning is just as important. Generalizations are when a simple statement is taken as truth and applied across an entire population or group. For example, "Japanese people love ramen." While this statement is most likely true in the case that a large amount of Japanese people find it enjoyable to spend their dinner in a nice ramen shop, to take this statement as a truth to be applied to 100% of Japanese people leads to a generalization. And, it could be something as harmless as a favorite food, to as something as mean and inconsiderate as applying a belief surrounded by racist undertones. Generalizations are easily avoided by adding certain key terms such as "most," or a "large amount," but even the belief that it applies to all leads to false impressions of a culture or people. Always remember, it can never be 100% of a population.

It is my goal as the author of this page to avoid both of these. But, the responsibility of avoiding them also falls on you as the reader. To take the lessons learned from this page and recklessly apply them to all members of the Japanese population, even if it is not in a judging way, is still the insinuation that all Japanese people must work the same way.

100% is not possible.

Also, important words will also be translated into Japanese. The italicized words are their phonetic pronunciation.

So, on to the fun part!

What is Japan?

To many people reading this, the question "what is Japan?" may seem like quite an easy one. Answers such as "an island" or "an interesting culture" may feel like it is enough. But, within this wiki page, the goal is for the reader to be able to expand their knowledge on what exactly the island is within, and why many people may find the culture to be defined as "interesting."

Japan (Nihon 日本) is an archipelago located in East Asia within the Pacific Ocean. People love to say that Japan is an island country, or simply an island, but the truth is, the political state of Japan consists of 4 main ones, and over 6,850 other islands!

Currently, the population of Japan numbers around 127 million people at the moment, and with a population growth rate of -0.27%. Yes… you are reading that right, the Japanese state is losing people and has been losing population since about 2010. However, Japan still holds the most populated metropolitan area in the world, and the 2nd most populated capital in the world: Tokyo (東京), with about 32.5 million residents.

While Japan does not have a heavy presence politically on the world stage, their presence is very well known when it comes to its popular culture. When people hear the word "Japan," many popular cultural aspects or material culture may come to mind:

  • Ramen noodles (ラーメン)

  • J-pop / Idols (アイドル)

  • Anime (アニメ)

  • Manga/Comics (漫画)

  • Shintoism (神道)

But, this list is not exhaustive.

Religion in Japanese Society

Wait a second… What was that last one? Shintoism! It is considered to be the religion of Japan. And, before one can come to understand a cultural aspect with an origin in religion, one must understand, at least basic information, about the religion's role and influence in and on society.

Religion is one aspect of Japan that is shrouded in mystery and is connected into one large web of different cultural beliefs, practices, and people. Out of all the religions that exist on the islands, Shintoism and Buddhism are hailed as the two religions that are Japanese.

Traditions that people frequently claim they would love to see or participate in such as Setubun (節分), Obon (お盆), etc. all have some type of religious origin.

And, despite what many people think about religion in Japan, it is probably shocking to hear that 51.6% of the Japanese population claim they hold no religious beliefs at all. In fact, a 2006 study showed that in 2000, Japan had this exact result when compared to 11 other countries in Asia (Honkawa, 2006).

Question Asked: What religion do you identify as?

(Translation for countries, from top to bottom… Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam, Philippines, Indonesia, Bangladesh, India, Iran, Turkey, Jordan, Israel).

(Translation for religions: White w/ dots = Nonreligious, White = "I do not know", Yellow = Buddhism, Dark blue = Catholicism, Light blue = Protestantism, Dark Green = Judaism, Light green = Hinduism, Pink = Islam, Orange = Others)

And even with 51.6% of the Japanese population claiming they hold no religion, the amount of people who follow a religion outnumbers the entire population of the Japanese state to begin with (Nippon Communication Foundation, 2018). How is something like this even possible?!

Well, this is the important takeaway about religion in Japan that people need to know before diving into religious weddings. Religion, to many people, is not a part of life that dictates how one should live, pray, believe, and make decisions.

When looking at religion in Japan from a Western eye it seems contradictory, "not one of the religions is dominant, and each is affected by the others. Thus, it is typical for one person or family to believe in several Shintō gods and at the same time belong to a Buddhist sect" (Masai, 2019). Religions are not a end-all-be-all to the majority of Japanese people. Praying at a Shinto temple during the day, and then praying at their home Buddhist shrine before bed is not considered to be a betrayal of Shintoism or Buddhism; the religions are as connected to each other as they are separate entities.

In Japan, one is interconnected with the other.

"SO?!" I hear you cry, "What does this have to do with Shinto weddings?" Well… Japanese couples, being of the Japanese population, will typically have multiple weddings (Shinto and Western is one of the most common patterns (May, n.d.)); if multiple weddings are not possible, one wedding will have influence from two or three different belief systems.

This is due to the fact that religion is not a label an individual chooses one of. Instead, religion flows through society and traditions into one another. Weddings are no different.

A Shinto wedding does not necessarily mean a Shinto couple, and vice versa.

Shinto Weddings

Important Terms and Underlying Information

So, before we move on any further, lets define some terms that will become important with this section.

  • Marriage (結婚, Kekkōn) - A socially (often legally) sanctioned sexual relationship between two individuals (Hogan, 2019).

  • Wedding (結婚式, Kekkōnshiki) - A marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities (Dictionary.com, n.d.).

And now, some important information before we dive in.

  • As of writing this wiki, September 27, 2019, same-sex marriage has not been legalized within Japan, so any mention of "couple" should be assumed to be a heterosexual couple unless otherwise stated.

  • Every Shinto temple within Japan has its own style on how to carryout a wedding, the words to be recited, and the order proceedings are done. Because of this, I will have to explain one type since I cannot possibly explain them all. But, with this warning, understand that a Shinto temple in Aoimori Prefecture would do things different then a temple in Shimane Prefecture.

History of the Shinto Wedding and Marriage in Japan

Not much is known about the origins of the Shinto-style wedding. However, the first modern Shinto wedding was not a common wedding, oh no… It was a royal wedding. In fact, it was the first Japanese royal wedding of the 1900s. Unfortunately, no pictures exist of the wedding, but an artist's rendition does exist.

But, what we do know is following this wedding, many couples found the Shinto style of wedding to hold an aura of royalty and high-society. Many couples began choosing to have a Shinto wedding to make their wedding have the same royal sense.

Shinto weddings are commonly referred to as shinzen-kekkōn (神前結婚). In English, this would translate to "Wedding before God".

In the 1990s, the Western-style of wedding, which involves a chapel, white wedding dress, exchange of rings, and a kiss between the couple, became the more popular wedding style to young couples, "Since the late-1990s, Western “white weddings” overtook Shinto nuptials as the ceremony of choice"(Hueston, 2017). To many old people, this could be seen as an abandonment of the traditional culture and an adoption of a culture that is not their own. However, many young couples often are told that traditional weddings are extremely expensive and require tons of planning and financing. This has led to the creation of wedding chapels that only exist to host Western-style weddings for young couples at an inexpensive price (Wedding Emmy, 2012).

It also not uncommon for couples to do both weddings. The common way is for the Shinto wedding to be the official wedding ceremony that the families attend to see the ceremony; the Western wedding is more so to carry-out what many Japanese couples consider to be romantic: the white dress, the flowers, and all the other extravagant characteristics.

So… You and your Japanese girlfriend or boyfriend want to have a Shinto wedding? What usually needs to happen before this can occur? Well, every Shinto shrine is different and therefore must be researched on their own individual websites.

For this wiki, the Shinto shrine that will be used is Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine (鶴岡八幡宮神社), located in Kanagawa Prefecture (神奈川県).

This shrine was chosen due to its old age, being built in 1063, as well as how popular it is as a Shinto wedding destination.

Planning a Shinto Wedding

Planning a Shinto wedding is usually done by the Shinto shrine that has been chosen. Many of them offer wedding packs that the couple can simply pay the one time fee, and the wedding is planned for them.

For example, looking at each of these individual Shinto Shrine websites, the prices of their wedding packs differ greatly!

  • Itsukushima Shrine (厳島神社) -> 1,200,904円 (about $11,000)

  • Ise Grand Shrine (伊勢神宮) -> 3,003,024円 (about $27,800)

  • Izumo Grand Shrine (出雲大社) -> 400,000円 (about $3,700)

And, the shrine we are specifically looking at: 390,000円 (about $3,600)

A wedding pack usually consists of:

  • Seats (the prices differ depending on two major aspects: Are the seats western style or Japanese style? And, how many people attend: <15, 15-29, >30?)

  • Food

  • Pictures (Photo taking during the wedding, and one final picture of the bride and groom's families are different prices depending on which one you want, or if you want both.)

  • Types of arrivals (Will the shrine/wedding company pick you up in a van? Rickshaw? Horse drawn carriage? Or, will you provide your own transportation?)

All of the items are discussed with the wedding planners of the shrine.

Next, it is up to the couple to buy the clothing that the bride will be wearing. Of all the individual prices (clothing, rings, food, etc.), the bride's outfit often comes out as the most expensive. The traditional kimono, known as a shiromuku kimono (白無垢着物) (left picture) is what many westerners picture when they think of a Shinto wedding bride. It is all white, and is not decorated with patterns or design. It is supposed to show simplicity and purity.

The second type of kimono is the Uchikake kimono (打ち掛け着物) (Right picture). Couples that want a traditional style of wedding will wear their white shiromuku kimono, and then at the reception, they will switch to the more colorful uchikake kimono. However, more and more young couples have begun opting to just carryout the whole ceremony in the color kimono.

Next are head pieces that the bride must choose to wear.

The first one is on the left, and is known as a watabōshi (綿帽子) . This hairpiece has the goal of acting like how brides in the West wear a veil to hide their face until the groom sees it at the alter. This large hood (which can even be larger than the one in the picture) works with the bride, who will usually keep her head down, to keep the face hidden.

The second headpiece, at center, is known as tsunokakushi (角隠し) . In English, this translates to "horn hiding" or "horn hider." In Japanese tradition, every woman has horns that lead her to be disobedient and make her own path. In a patriarchal society, this is obviously deemed as a problem. So, the hat hides the horns and therefore puts the woman more in line with social norms, "The “tsunokakushi” (literally hiding the horns) is said to make the bride a gentle wife, who is not easily angered or made jealous" (Yoshida, 2016).

Furthermore, the tsunokakushi is also allowed to be worn with the uchikake kimono, but the watabōshi can only be worn with the white shiromuku.

The bride's hair that is displayed during the wedding ceremony cannot be natural hair, but rather a very solid wig that is attached to the Bride's head. They are often decorated with jewels, gemstones, and string. These hairpieces are called, bunkin takashimada (文金高島田) .

The man wears a black styled kimono named Mon-Tsukihaori hakama (紋付き羽織袴) .

Once the men and the women are dressed up, and they arrive at the shrine, the official ceremony begins. As stated previously, as every shrine is different, we will be following the order that Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine carries out. All the following pictures and steps can be found on their website.

Order of the Ceremony

1) Arrival to the Shrine (Sanshin 参進)

The whole party arrives at the shrine, and walks towards the main building.

From the back to front…

  • The couple's immediate family follows at the end of the trail

  • The couple, bride wearing white kimono, and the groom wearing the black and grey hakama.

  • The Miko (巫女); a female assistant of the priests that ensure ceremonies are all prepared and that everything goes smoothly.

  • The rest of the procession are the priests who will be carrying out the ceremony

2) Taking a Seat (Chakuseki 着席)

Everybody takes a seat. The couple facing the interior of the shrine and the priests.

The guests take seats that face each other, towards the middle of the shrine.

The types of seats depends on what was paid for. They can be western style seats, or Japanese style seats. For people who want more traditional weddings, they opt for the Japanese style of seating.

3) Start of Ceremony (Kaishiki 開式)

Musicians begin to play signaling to the people within the shrine that the wedding ceremony is beginning.

Instruments include large taiko drums and traditional Japanese flutes.

In Shinto religion, the gods must also be awoken before they can be spoken to or prayed to. These musicians also play to wake up any gods that are needed for the marriage ceremony.

4) Purification Ritual (Shubatsu no gi 修祓の儀)

As the Shinto wedding is about bring the couple into a pure and "clean" marriage, the couple must be purified to make sure that nothing contaminated follows them into the relationship. This is usually done through prayer.

The priest ensures there are no imperfections or impurities within the wedding venue.

5) Call to the Gods (Norito Sojo 祝詞奏上)

The priest chants a prayer directed towards the gods, letting them know what ceremony is proceeding and asking them for their blessings on both the ceremony itself and for the couple when their marriage begins.

6) Miko's Dance (Kami Gakufu 神楽舞)

In Japanese religious belief, women have a natural and strong ability to communicate directly with the gods and spirits; men must go through tons of training and special practice to reach the ability that a woman has.

The miko's job during the ceremony is a peacekeeper between those in the ceremony and the gods and spirits observing the ceremony. As long as she keeps both sides happy, the couple will be happy and the gods will bless the wedding and couple.

7) Exchanging of Vows - Sake part (Chikai no sakazuki 誓いの盃)

This involves a ritual known as San-San-Ku-Do (三々九度). In English, this would be translated to "three, three, nine." This ritual is part of the purification ceremony, "There are three sakazuiki (ceremonial sake cups) stacked one on top of the other in a tier. Both the bride and the groom sip from each cup three times, hence the “three three nine times”. Three cannot be divided in two, making it a particularly lucky number for a wedding in Japanese culture" (Gallagher, n.d).

Some shrines, such as the one we are examining, will give both the bride and groom a small platter-like cup, and will simply refill the same cup three times each.

This sake is made by and holds a connection with the gods, making a sake known as kamizake (神酒).

8) Exchanging of the Vows - Reading part (Seishi Sojo 誓詞奏上)

The groom reads aloud the couple's vows towards a happy marriage, and a hope for a healthy fertility, enough to grant the couple a family to raise.

The couple will also take this time to thank their family and friends, as well as a matchmaker if they were involved in the process.

9) Offering of the Tamagushi (Tamagushi hairei 玉串拝礼)

The sacred plant of Shintoism is the Takugushi (玉串).

The new couple offers a branch each to the god, in hopes of further pleasing the god and receiving even more blessings.

This part of the ceremony is almost universal among Shinto weddings as it is seen as a very important step in guaranteeing a happy and stable marriage.

10) Exchange of Rings (Yubiwa no gi 指輪の儀)

The couple gives each other their wedding rings.

This was not originally part of the Shinto wedding tradition. As this was seen as a western ideal, many shrines did not see the purpose of exchanging rings as a part of the ceremony.

However, to make the Shinto wedding more appealing, many shrines began making it a part of the ceremony, even though it holds no religious meaning. Many couples find this addition to be a good way of modernizing the wedding style and allowing tradition to grow with modernity.

11) Family Toast (Shinzoku Sakazuki no gi 親族盃の儀)

The couple's families stand, and with their own cups of sake, they toast the newlyweds and drink it all.

12) End of Ceremony (Taika 退化)

The couple and the families give one last thanks to the priests, miko, and the gods.

Following the thanks, the couple and the families usually will take one last big photo together, and then they are free to go home.


Final Remarks

Shinto weddings are a perfect example of where tradition, modernity, and cultural pride all clash into one big ceremony: And, in this case, it is a ceremony where two families, raised in different ways and views combine into one.

While the Shinto priests cannot officially marry two people like priests in America can, many couples will feel that their wedding has bonded them to a point that they may not see the need to rush to the city ward office and fill out the marriage form; To the new couple, enjoying the new life comes first, and the paperwork comes second.

Weddings, religion, and beliefs differ from country to country, place to place, even person to person. This alone is evident by the difference in price and order between the different shrines for the "same" wedding.

To all the people reading this, it is possible that the stars may align and you participate in a Shinto wedding. I hope that after reading this, you will be able to fully understand and participate in this traditional ceremony of the Japanese people.

Thanks for reading.

Learn More

Bibliography

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