Raising Resilient Youths
“The ability to recover quickly from difficulties” or “the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.”
RESILIENT YOUTHS:
· Can deal with disappointments and bounce back
· Are able to identify their strengths
· See tasks through even when they are difficult (Grit)
· Have a support network and positive relationships
· Know how and where to ask for help when they are unable to
do something independently
· Have areas in which they feel successful
· Contribute to life, class and the community around them
PARENTS: WHERE TO START
· Foster strong, healthy relationships
· Avoid overprotecting (let them take risks)
· Practice problem-solving
· Encourage creativity
· Hold youths responsible for their actions and decisions
· Encourage trying first, before immediately asking for help
· Develop organisational skills and time management
· Establish routines and communicate expectations
· Do not accommodate every want
· Plan regular exercise, meals and sleep times
· Teach youths to look for a positive in any experience
· Teach concrete skills (cooking, researching, asking directions)
· Do not provide all the answers
· Avoid talking in catastrophic terms (always, never)
· Let your youths make mistakes
· Help them manage their emotions
· Model resiliency
· Empathise, but do not always rush to “fix”
ACTIVITIES AT HOME
Conversation Starters
· What is a challenge or dilemma you facing this week?
· What are ideas you have about dealing with it?
· Who is your hero or someone you admire? What qualities do they have that you like?
· What is one thing you would like to improve about yourself? What can you do to improve?
· How have you shown your strengths this week?
· Who do you look for support when your parents are not around?
· What is a character strength you would like to have?
· Where does your source of hope come from?
Compliments Challenge
Spend time noticing and complementing one another. Be specific with the compliments. It does not matter how small they are, but they do need to be authentic. This can reinforce the behaviours you are trying to teach, can help your child identify his/her strengths and can teach them to recognise the strengths of others.
· You always stand up on the MRT to let someone else have your seat. That shows how thoughtful you are.
· I appreciate you called to let me know where you were. That lets me know you are responsible.
· You spoke very nicely to your brother just now. That was kind.
· You got started on homework without being reminded, way to be organised.
Situation Challenges – What Would You Do?
1. Adam receives a message from Jerry. In the message, Jerry tells Adam to do his science homework for him. Jerry says he will make fun of Adam in front of their class if Adam doesn't do it. Adam doesn't want to help Jerry cheat, but he also doesn't want to be embarrassed. What should Adam do? Have you ever faced a similar situation?
2. You have a teacher or coach who is always getting on you for no reason, and you're tired of it. You're not a kid anymore; you deserve respect. He is coming toward you. You can tell he's angry and you know what's coming. Right now you have to determine how you'll react. What will you do?
USEFUL RESOURCES
BOOKS
· Brooks, Robert and Goldstein, Sam. 2002. Nurturing Resilience in Our Children: Answers to the Most Important Parenting Questions Paperback
· Ginsburg, Kenneth, MD. 2011. Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings.Ginsburg, Kenneth, MD. 2015. Raising Kids to Thrive.
· Goldman, Linda. 2005. Raising Our Children to Be Resilient. A guide to helping children through their pain and confusion into a flexible and compassionate adulthood.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
http://www.fosteringresilience.com/
www.isssupportforfamilies.weebly.com
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/what-is-positive-psychology/
www.heysigmund.com/building-resilience-children/
https://www.weareteachers.com/8-ways-to-help-your-students-build-resiliency/
