Essay Structure Scaffold

In any English essay, the following structure should generally be followed.

Introduction: approximately 50-100 words

• General conceptual statement about the module (e.g. ‘Culture and language have a reciprocal relationship – each informs the other in significant ways.’). Use a cause-and-effect sentence structure.

• Thesis statement that explains how we see the conceptual statement in the text. Include the title, composer, date of publication and form of the text, and outline of the main claims you will make in the essay.

3  PEEL paragraphs: 200 – 300 words

Topic sentence: conceptual cause and effect sentence connected to the question/rubric. (Do not mention the text here)

Elaboration : emphasise more specifically what you mean by the topic sentence, especially in terms of what happens in the text. Two sentences maximum

Analysis: using evidence to support your topic and elaboration sentences—there must be a direct link or progression of logic made between the analysis and the argument. Deconstruct approximately two quotes, but ensure that you are focused on quality over quantity

Concluding sentence: use an evaluative adverb such as purposefully, cleverly, insightfully (e.g. Significantly, this text projects the necessity of … ) in order to assess the question and your argument as a whole

Conclusion

• Make an overall judgement about the texts in terms of the rubric. Use the words of the question.

• Re-address main ideas/topic sentences of body paragraphs

• Finish with a sentence about what responders gain from engaging with the text that connects to the rubric.  

PEEL paragraphs

QUESTION

How has Ali Cobby Eckermann’s use of figurative language in her poetry revealed, challenged or disrupted your assumptions about Australian culture?

Throughout history, the ruthless treatment of Indigenous Australians has been suppressed by our society. As victims of widely prevailing assumptions of them as morally corrupt, and lesser, established by “White” Australians and as a result of colonisation, the violent experiences and the ramifications of the severing of the Indigenous’ ties to the land have been concealed from future Australian generations. Ali Cobby Eckermann’s suite Inside my Mother, reveals the true suffering of Aboriginal people through the use of figurative language. More specifically, her poems ‘Trance’ and ‘Oombulgarri’ focus on the continued consequences of colonisation and the shared legacy of suffering of Aboriginal people. Ali Cobby Eckermann’s poetry evocatively reveals Aboriginal Australians' true history and the ramifications of the severing of the ties to the country.

Indigenous Australian’s have suffered through exceedingly traumatic experiences throughout history, which have simultaneously caused suppression of traditional landowners whilst strengthening their bonds with country. Ali Cobby Eckermann reveals this connection to country in her poem ‘Trance’, which explores the natural reactions of loss between two lovers by reflecting back on happier times the persona had with her husband to honour her love for Indigenous people and the land. Eckerman utilises structure effectively to show the comparison between the physical world, where her persona is suffering, compared to the therapeutic nature of the trance. Part 1 reveals the persona’s reaction to change and death as a result of the traumatic experiences she has incurred from “White” Australians. In Part 1, nature provides the foundation which helps her to transcend into her trance. The symbolism of “the night air prepares its exit,” and “the dawn breeze chills,” develops the eerie and cold atmosphere prior to the trance, which shows us how nature has its way of guiding Indigenous people towards healing. Whereas, Part 2 highlights the trance she undergoes and the spiritual and reflective world she enters. The juxtaposition and parallelisms of “the hardness of the trunks and the softness of bark,” represents the persona’s spiritual connection to nature, as well as the personification, “the yellow kiss of the sun”. Eckermann empowers nature with humanistic features and to reveal how uniquely strong the connection is between nature and the Indigenous people and the power it holds to heal their suffering. Eckermann continues the motif of nature throughout to help the persona sustain her trance and find healing. The extended metaphor of the 5th Quatrain layered with the personification of nature, “heat is the love of the campfire|the yellow kiss of the sun|the passion that flows after hunting|and life, before her man died,” represents the ways in which her memories of her partner are so intimately connected with the experiences they had together in natural surroundings. The reference to the traditional burial customs in “the hard and the soft of trees | branches uplift his bark-bound body,” with the repetition and personification of the trees fortifies the connection to nature and land, as well as the significance it plays as an extremely important role in the circle of life to Indigenous people. Eckermann’s evocative portrayal of the intimate connection to nature throughout ‘Trance’ illustrates how nature, land and Indigenous people are inextricably linked and the significance of the connection between the Indigenous and nature. Despite the confronting and torturous experiences Indigenous people have suffered through, the connection to nature and its power to heal suffering displays just how resilient those connections are to nature and how they surpass the brutal experiences they went through. Through studying Eckermann’s poetry, it has challenged my assumptions about the experiences which the Indigenous have gone through and has also revealed to me the strength of nature in the prosses of healing.

Most Australian’ are aware that, as a result of colonisation, there has been immense ramifications of the severing of Indigenous ties to the land. However, Eckermann’s poetry furtherly reveals that in more modern times whole towns have continued to be desecrated. ‘Oombulgarri’ depicts the devastation of severing ties to land and country, as well as revealing the ramifications of the desecration of a town and culture from the forceable control of the government. Throughout Eckermann’s poem ‘Oombulgarri’, she uses figurative language to challenge the reader to respond and think about the power the government holds over Indigenous people, and to honour the presence of the town and culture that was stripped from them. The reoccurring motif of “tumble weeds,” connotes a desolate town, which is symbolic of the silence and suppression Indigenous people have become accustomed. “Blue pattern dresses,” is symbolic of the indigenous women’s colourful dresses and is juxtaposed against the emptiness of the town to represent the control government has over these powerless people. The provocation in “paddy wagons once patrolled,” connotes the surveillance and control of police, which sparks curiosity in the reader to wonder if the people of Oombulgarri were ever free. Furthermore, the simile “the town is empty now | as empty as the promises | that once held it together,” compares the reality of the events that occurred in indigenous communities against the promises that the government made to indigenous people to ensure equality. The desecration of the town and resultant silencing of the people had an enormous effect on the lives of Indigenous people. The simile “echoes of laughter roll like distant thunder,” reveal the past happiness that is now lost and creates ambiguity. This laughter could be the white men, the indigenous people or even ghostly laughter. The laughter is a sobering moment where we think about the sadness which followed due to the government taking away these people’s opportunities to have a laugh. The metaphor “even the creak of the gate is silent,” symbolises through the painful legacy of colonisation and even the events of today, Indigenous people are silenced and suppressed in society. Many Indigenous towns and communities were eradicated, and this resulted in the loss of Indigenous cultures and languages. Connection to the land for Indigenous people is extremely important in their traditions and is part of their identity. Through studying Eckermann’s poetry, it has challenged my assumptions that the removal of land and the severance with land and culture ended with the initial colonisation.

Australia’s true history of the ruthless and cruel treatment of Indigenous people as a result of colonisation and the ongoing ramifications in modern times has been suppressed from society. Eckermann’s suite, Inside my Mother, explores the ramifications of the severing of the ties to their land and reveals the true, horrific history. ‘Trance’ and ‘Oombulgarri’ highlight the tremendous experiences Indigenous people have suffered through and continue to through her use of figurative language. Through studying Eckermann’s poetry, it has opened my knowledge of the ramifications which have followed as a result of colonisation and the incredible connections the Indigenous people have with land and country. Language is a powerful medium to reveal our true Australian history and to repair vital ties between Indigenous people and their culture and customs.

Impactful creative writers that explore their own life in their writing judiciously employ language and language devices to enhance the communication of their individual and collective identity. The influential modern day Aboriginal Australian poet, Ali Cobby Eckermann effectively uses language in her poetic writing to convey parts of her personal, family and cultural identity. Two of her famous poems, ‘Leaves’ and ‘Unearthed’ explore the themes of surviving processes of colonisation through the continuation of Aboriginal culture and the importance of family in maintaining cultural identity. Eckermann uses the poetic techniques of symbolism, repetition, metaphor, and imagery to communicate complex elements of her identity to her audience.

Colonisation in Australia resulted in fractured individual and collective identities for Aboriginal people. A significant element that combats this unravelling of identity is family and we see the importance of family connections to surviving the processes of colonisation in the poem Leaves. As a member of the Aboriginal stolen generation, Cobby-Eckermann explores her family identity through a metaphorical and symbolic representation of the father she never met. The poet personifies a tree as her father in the rhetorical question “that lone tree on the ridge/is that my father?” This comparison  extends and runs throughout the poem when the poet compares her father’s arms to branches, refers to sitting in his shade and claims that her father  'did not know me but gave me leaves’.  The concept of family traits and qualities being passed on even when one does personally know the relative is one of the complex aspects of individual identity developed by Eckermann in this poem. 

The fusing of her father with a tree also alludes to the close connection Aboriginal people have with Country and the sense that Country is family. When asking the rhetorical question ‘If I climb to him now/and lie in his limbs/will our story unite?’ not only continues the tree/father metaphor but also uses the conditional ‘if’ to allow the poet to question if she were to reach out and hug her father, or reach out and make contact with Country, would the story of her family identity and her Aboriginal identity unite? Eckermann is trying to discover who she is by connecting with her biological father, a man she only met briefly once, and in this sense the poem is an expression of her desire for her father’s love and acceptance. The rhetorical question suggests a continuing search, or a question that has preoccupied the poet for a long time. Her choice of language and literary techniques has helped communicate effectively to her audience aspects of her individual identity and attempt to discover more about her genetic/collective identity.

Eckerman also explores the theme of continuation of culture and connection between family and cultural identity in her poems. The title of the poem ‘Unearth’, has a double meaning to show that generations of Australia’s indegenous people have been hidden and culture forgotten. Eckerman invites indigenous people to explore their language, identity, culture and their past. “Lets dig up the soil and excavate the past and breathe life into the bodies of our ancestors.” the connection between uncovering, re learning and archeological ‘digging’ progressing throughout the poem and it continues to address the idea of understanding her personal and collective past. The poet uses descriptive language to create clear images of ‘digging’ and ‘unearthing.’ This is the extended metaphor for uncovering Australia’s ‘true history’. Eckerman encourages her indigenous Australian peers to continue the fight to recover and reclaim their ancestral roots and further understand their cultural identity. Eckerman continues to explore the themes of the continuation of culture and the theme of surviving processes of colonisation. She uses connotations and high modality to suggest that people will never stop fighting, or seeking to learn about their culture and their pasts. “In the future the petition will be everlasting.”she uses the word “petition” to describe the voice of opinion and fighting for belief. The poet also uses repetition of the word ‘warriors’, “rising warriors echo […] we glimpse warriors in the mirage.” accompanied by the words ‘glimpse’, ‘echo’ and ‘mirage’, which allude to a faint representation of what once was. They are a ‘glimpse’ of connection with the hidden past. Eckerman has used language and literary techniques to convey ideas to her audience about her exploration of her individual and collective identity as a member of the stolen generation.

A composer’s choice of language can communicate aspects of their individual and collective identity. The poet Ali Cobby Eckermann uses various literary techniques in her poems ‘Leaves’ and ‘Unearth’ to effectively explore and convey parts of her personal, family and cultural identity. In these poems she has unpacked the themes of surviving processes of colonisation, the continuation of culture and connection between family and cultural identity by using vivid imagery, repetition, symbolism, metaphor and high modality to communicate her ideas to her audience.