Ask Blair is an advice column run by a GPHS student under the alias of Blair. Its purpose is to provide advice to students in search of it. Keep in mind that your responses will most likely be in the next issue of The Scroll. Scroll below to see the answers for last issue's questions!
Last year, we launched the advice column Ask Blair! Everything is 100% anonymous, including my own identity. Though I go by Blair for the purpose of the column, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you know me outside of The Scroll. I’m a student at GPHS, just like all of you. My goal for the column is to reach out to you guys and do what I can to help you during your times of trouble. Don’t be afraid to send in questions for next month’s issue, and I look forward to writing for you guys in the months to come. Scroll down to enter your own questions for me, Blair!
*A Note from Blair: Since I reach such a wide audience and cater to people of so many different lifestyles and beliefs, it is my goal to remain as unbiased as possible when giving advice. It is for that reason that I ask you refrain from asking for my personal opinions on politics and the like, as I don't want that to get in the way of being able to help as many people as possible. Thank you for helping me keep Ask Blair! a safe space for everyone!
*Editor's Note: The Scroll's Ask Blair! Column is to solely provide advice, care, and support to students in need. We want to hear from you, and we understand that some of the topics that will be discussed will be emotional and sometimes distressing, but this advice column is not meant to be used as an alternative to any sort of professional therapy or counseling.
Thank you 💜
This sounds like something you need to directly address the teacher about. If it comes up again, try not to involve yourself in the conversation and speak to your teacher. If you’re really uncomfortable, the best thing to do is just take the high road and don’t respond. If your teacher doesn’t do anything after you’ve expressed your discomfort, then ask yourself if the class is even a place for those discussions in the first place (journalism, history, English)-- if it is, then it's okay for them to respectfully voice themself on these matters if it's relevant, but if it gets violent then, yes, that's something the teacher absolutely needs to deescalate. If it isn't a place for those discussions, then bring that up to your teacher. Say it's creating a distracting learning environment.
Additionally, the best thing you can do is to ask questions yourself like "well, why do they feel that way?" or "what caused this intense reaction?" to help keep a level-head when those conversations do come up. Not everyone has the patience to try to see where another person is coming from, but I've found in multiple circumstances that I've learnt more when I ask questions to myself about why I disagree with someone then just obstinately arguing all the time (even if the final result of that questioning is maintaining my viewpoint).
Overall, if it happens again then talk to your teacher privately that the violent political talk is creating a distracting learning environment for you.
This depends on the circumstances of the project. If it’s one of those situations where you’re doing all the work or feel like everyone else is on different pages, it would be really helpful to have someone organizing things. It may help to always be the person speaking up during conversations, and when things get chaotic, be the person to slow things down and organize the situation. Say things like, “So this person wants to do it this way, but this other person wants to do it this other way. Is that right? Okay, does anyone else have a clear preference for one of these options? What is a way to combine these two options in a way we would all be willing to compromise for?” Just remember to make sure everyone’s voice is heard and you’re not talking over anyone or forcing things to go in your preferred direction. It helps to remain fairly neural, or if you do express your opinion, you make a point to ask everyone else what they think, as well.
If it’s a situation where everyone’s getting along and the project is going smoothly, the group might not need a leader. If the project is going well and everyone is participating, trying to take on a leadership role may come off as forced, or even bossy. Remember that you are not any more competent than anyone else, and your ideas aren’t better than those of the other group members. If the group doesn’t need a leader and you force it anyway, it most likely won’t work and could cause conflict in the group. While I admire your leadership, it’s just important to keep in mind that the project is the priority, and causing conflict or furthering a divide in the group will make the project that much more difficult.
I’m sure once you take that into consideration, obtaining an appropriate role won’t be too difficult. Good luck!
My taste in music is kind of all over the place, so it’s hard to recommend music when I’m not sure what exactly you listen to, but I can do my best! Here’s a list of songs from me and the rest of The Scroll team!
“Line Without a Hook (feat. mxmtoon)” - Ricky Montgomery
“Francis Forever” and "Strawberry Blonde" - Mitski
“Bother Me” and "Flying on Faith" - Chung Ha
“Woke Up (feat. Olivia Olson and Zuzu)” - Adventure Time
“Lucky” and "i'll never fall in love with myself" - Zeph
“LA DI DA” - Everglow
“Sparkle - Movie Ver.” - Radwimps
“Promiscuous (feat. Timbaland)” - Nelly Furtado
“Freedom! ‘90” - The Bellas
“I Know Where I’ve Been” - Hairspray LIVE! Original Soundtrack
“Killer Queen” - Queen
"Love Is Magic" and "Beautiful Illusion" - Redbone
"Grow As We Go" and "Waving Through a Window" - Ben Platt
The second half of the year is upon us, and if you’re anything like me, motivation may be running low. The nice thing about new classes is that it’s a fresh start, and any problems you’ve had so far (like missed assignments, bad grades, etc.) still have plenty of time to be remedied. It’s important to remember to do your best and give yourself grace. If you find your workload to be too overwhelming, it’s still early, and you will likely find ways to cope or organize yourself in the coming months. It’s okay not to be in the swing of things yet; you’ll get there. If you’re running short on motivation, or you feel like you’ve spread yourself too thin, take a break! There’s no shame in giving yourself a day off from homework, as long as you’re okay with picking up a little extra the next day to make up for it. Remember that you don’t need to “earn” breaks or self-care or anything like that. Whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, do it. Don’t put school or homework or any of that before yourself. Other than that, the best advice I can give is to just tough it out. It’s halfway over! I know that you’re all capable of getting through the year in one piece. I believe in you all!! Good luck!!! :)
I'm so sorry you feel that way! Trust me, I've been there, and to be honest, almost every time I find myself in that situation, it's because I just needed to talk to them. The best advice I can give is to reach out to them and tell them how you feel. Say something like, "Hey, this might just be me, but I feel like you might be upset with me. Did I do something wrong?" If it turns out that you did something and didn't realize it, it gives them a chance to tell you and you can talk it out and resolve the issue. If not, it might just be that the time apart in the pandemic has made communication less clear or less frequent, and you may have just had a misunderstanding. In that case, this will give you a chance to communicate to them how you've been feeling, and they can be more careful with checking in on you and stuff like that. Talking it out is my nearly foolproof method of solving problems in relationships. When in doubt, let them know! I hope things work out for you and your friends! :)
