Life after covid
In this comical satirical article, Abigail Woody discusses what life after COVID would be like.
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Life after covid
Life after covid
By Abigail Woody
By Abigail Woody
What are people going to be like after COVID? COVID has made everyone so crazy about sanitizing and more germ cautious but, after COVID, some people will inevitably go back to how they were before. These are the ones that never washed their hands and never used hand sanitizer even before the pandemic. The ones who always carried germs. How will they be after COVID? They will fight with the germaphobes, whose obsessions have only gotten worse because of the pandemic and provision of a myriad of sanitizing options.
Let’s put the germaphobes aside, let them wash up, and sit back to watch how many people don’t wash their hands. According to WIFR, a news station out of Rockford, Illinois, in America alone, only 76% of people wash their hands thoroughly. Only 51% wash their hands with soap. 38% wash their hands for 15 seconds or less. People may say that they wash their hands, but do they-- really? Is there any trust in these words, or are they just empty words? According to WIFR, 28% of men are not likely to not wash their hands, compared to only 19% of women. Get it together, men. You disgust the female gender. In general, people really need to take some notes from the germaphobes.
Alright, hydrophobes, you had your fun. Sit back, relax and let's learn how to wash our hands while we talk about what it means to take sanitizing to the next level. Germaphobes like to take extra precautions when it comes to staying sanitized. According to Puronics, a pure water company, 64% of Americans use a paper towel on handles, doors, and sinks to eliminate the most germs. 59% of people in America use their feet instead of their hands to wash the toilet. According to Puronics, 52% use a seat liner or cover on the toilet seat. 51% open and close doors with their body instead of their hands and, last but certainly not least (well, it is technically last), 37% of Americans hover over the toilet seat. Germaphobes really go the extra length.
Well, germaphobes and hydrophobes, let’s recover from all of these facts. Germaphobes had a lot of good ways to help out the hydrophobes with their hygiene. Maybe the hydrophobes helped the germaphobes with lightening them up a bit, but probably only made the germaphobes worse. There are a lot of people in America and now everyone knows that not everyone washes their hands, and the hydrophobes now know that some people go the extra length for hygiene. Hopefully, everyone has learned that people should always wash their hands. Even if they think they might not need to wash their hands. Nobody wants to be the person to shake your hand and stick it in a pool of the world’s germs.
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