Social Emotional Supports

Supporting Students with Interfering Behavior

Preschool is an exciting time for students as they start learning more independent skills and interacting with peers outside of their family and close friends. The age range between three and five years old often comes with many big emotions as students start to become more aware of other people’s feelings, wants, and needs and how they are able to navigate these interactions that sometimes conflict with their own wants and needs.

It is typical for children in this age group to struggle with big emotions from time to time. For young learners this could look like screaming, crying, throwing, hitting, or even biting. While these behaviors interfere with the harmony of the classroom, they are typical and expected for this age group. The ability to self-regulate is extremely difficult once these big emotions take over. I am sure we have all been there with our child at the grocery store when a complete meltdown takes over. No matter what we do we can’t get them to calm down or listen to reason. In most of these instances a child is having a hard time not giving us a hard time, and the big emotions are not a choice. Children use the most efficient strategy to get their needs met, and big emotions are efficient because we generally can’t ignore them and the child gets their needs met very quickly.

In preschool we are focused on teaching proactive and preventative strategies. This means that we use whole and small group lessons to teach problem solving skills so students have strategies they can rely on instead of using big emotions and unsafe behavior to get their needs met. For every child it takes proactive teaching and opportunities to practice these skills to gain independence. These are essential skills for all early learners, which is why our days are intentionally planned with many opportunities to work and play with peers. These skills are some of the most important kindergarten readiness skills that exist.

There will be times when a student struggles with big feelings and the related unsafe behaviors that sometimes accompany these feelings. As a preschool team we want you to be aware of how we support every child with the skills to regulate when big feelings like sadness, anxiety, anger or frustration set in.

1. We use daily circle time lessons to teach social emotional skills. Strategies include visuals, picture books, role playing, songs, and puppets to talk about recognizing emotions in ourselves and others, teaching friendship skills, and a variety of problem-solving strategies.

2. We use naturally occurring instances in class to help guide students through the problem-solving steps to come up with a safe and successful solution.

3. Some students may also need more support such as one-on-one intentional teaching with related tools and resources to learn individualized strategies that they can access when they are having a hard moment. This includes students from every demographic, academic level, age group etc. For students who need extra support the team collaborates to develop a plan that is individualized. This level of support is available for everyone. The goal is to be proactive and use the teaching team to meet the needs of all students.

Even with careful planning and consideration for specific needs there will be instances when a student has a hard time that presents in unsafe behaviors. We are usually able to support the student in accessing an alternative space to help them regulate and return to the group plan when ready. On rare occasions we may need to use a strategy called a Room Clear. In a Room Clear situation the student is unable or unwilling to access an alternative space. In an effort to keep all students safe, and also preserve the dignity of the student with the interfering behavior, we will have staff lead the rest of the class to an alternative space while some staff stay to support the struggling student. This could be heading out to the playground or gym for an early or extended recess, or joining a buddy class for a short period of time so the team can help the student regulate and return the learning space to usual.

In the event of a room clear, the classroom that was affected will be notified that there was a room clear event in your child’s classroom so that we could support a struggling student and ensure safety for everyone. Intentional planning and support are provided to help prevent this from happening often. However, the only behavior that we can control is our own, so it is not possible to guarantee that a Room Clear will never be necessary.

After the student is supported and regulated in an alternative space, we will address the event with the class. It is important to give students an opportunity to debrief. We give them space to share how they felt. To reassure them that all feelings are ok, and sometimes we all have a difficult time controlling our emotions. We point out that teachers will always help a student who is struggling and also work to make sure the rest of the class is safe. We explain that when a friend has a big emotion the best thing they can do is give the student space and listen to the teacher’s directions.

If you are wondering how you can help support your child at home when big emotions happen at school, please consider the following.

• Reassure your child that the staff is always prepared to keep all students safe. Sometimes friends have a hard time controlling their emotions and behavior. That might be hitting, kicking, or yelling. Their behavior was unsafe but it doesn’t make them a bad person.

• Help them make a connection to a time when they may have had a difficult time controlling their emotions. Point out how you as the adult helped them work through it and connect that to how the staff helped the struggling student to calm down.

• Please point out that when a student struggles it is not a choice. Their big emotions are taking over their ability to make safe choices. Just because we see a friend making an unsafe choice doesn’t mean that it is ok and they should not copy the unsafe behavior that they see.

• The movie Inside Out actually does a great job of illustrating our emotions in a way that children can understand. If your child has experienced this movie you might choose to make a connection to the characters in the movie and how our friend may have been feeling and how their actions may have made us feel.

• Explain that today a friend had a hard time and needed some extra help. If you ever have a hard time your teachers will be there for you too.

In addition to communicating about a Room Clear event, you can also expect that we will communicate with you if your student is ever involved with a physical incident at school, even if it is behavior that is typical for the age group. For example, if a child wants a toy that another student has, and they won’t give it to them so they hit. This is a typical behavior for this age group, and something that we are intentional about working through. In these instances, we will share with both families and let you know how we supported each student in the situation. Preschool is the best setting to practice and work through these situations to build social emotional skills, and it is natural for all students to struggle with these skills from time to time while they practice. If you ever have specific questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out to your child’s teacher or your preschool administrator. We are grateful for your partnership as we help all students build these important skills.