"The Broken Mold"

 by Izabella Espinoza

Molds: we fill them up with plaster, let it dry, and then comes out the casting. Us humans are the casting, we are made with molds. 

Topanga was a girl who grew up in a home that wasn't low class, but wasn't high - she had everything full of what she needed financially. Topanga wasn't much of a logical girl, she enjoyed the wonders of the world, all the questions that could never be answered, all the places she wanted to see, all the things she wanted to feel - she had so many thoughts in her head about so many different things. She grew up in a family whose molds were perfectly made, they could do no wrong, and were full with pride. They were logical thinkers, didn't do emotions, instead pushed them deep inside, showing no one that they were hurting or that their pride was just a mask. Topanga's family knew what they had to do and went forward, didn't pay attention to anyone or what they had to say. They did what they ¨had¨ to do to succeed in their lives. 

Topanga was different, though, she paid attention to everything, she read through the walls her family had, saw both the real and fake parts of their feelings, and she was full of emotions.  Emotions she didn't understand, couldn't express, as she would be pushed away and called crybaby, dramatic, brat, and selfish. Her family was bereft of emotions. They lacked understanding of Topanga's emotions, and so Topanga went into a big state of mind. She would constantly ask why she couldn't just push forward like her family, and forget about what words or actions hurt her, she would ask what was wrong with her. 

Why did she feel so worthless? Why did she feel as though she was nothing but a burden and annoyance to her family? Why did she feel so much love for her family, but never felt as though they loved her? She was deprived of being able to express herself. Topanga soon realized she couldn't talk to her family about her feelings, emotions, and thoughts she had inside of her. She turned to writing, she wrote in her journals, all the way till the last page she wrote. Poems, thoughts, stories, and more. Topanga wasn't happy, but wasn't sad, she felt as though she was just there. She wrote on her last page of her journal, 95 % of people come out of their molds perfect, not chipped, cracked, or misshaped. My family came out of their mold perfectly. I came out of my mold, just to realize my mold was broken, it was misshapen, so there was a hole and crack when I came out, and I'm part of that 5% that isn't perfect. I'm a Broken Mold.