Motivate the Unmotivated Student

If your child is completely disinterested in school and refuses to even attend school, let alone think about college in their future, generally no amount of pleading, lecturing or threatening will change their mind.  We will try to help you, as the parent/guardian, understand the causes of this situation, and once there you can more effectively develop a strategy to change your student's indifference to education.

There are several causes for a lack of motivation.  These include:

1. Low Self-Esteem - Children who have a poor self image avoid activities that they feel are beyond their capabilities.  Even if they actually complete a task they engage in self-defeating behavior to protect the small amount of self worth they possess.  In their eyes it is better to withhold effort or procrastinate, even be defiant rather than risk trying, failing, and feeling even worse about themselves.

2. Lack of Support at Home - Home environments shape the initial attitudes that children hold toward learning.  If the home is filled with curiosity, questions, exploration and answers are encouraged, children inherently believe that education is worthwhile and satisfying.  These children are more likely to take risks in academic pursuits as well as extra-curricular activities, making friendships, and being well-rounded individuals.  On the other hand, in a home where learning and asking questions is not encouraged, children are given the message that education is of little value and even that they lack the competency and ability to learn.

3. Low Expectations in the Classroom - Students often mirror teachers attitudes.  If a teacher believes that their student's can learn, the same students are more likely to trust in themselves and their abilities, therefore reaching success in their academic work.  These teachers assign work that is challenging, and meaningful, thereby linking effort and success.    Likewise, if teachers do not have that confidence in their students, and are disillusioned to the potential of each student, the students are more apt to tune out, stop trying and fail.

4. Pressure - Many unmotivated children simply are responding negatively to pressure.  Whether it is perceived or real, children rely on defense mechanisms to protect them from the upset that pressure creates.  This pressure can come from home, school or parents, but wherever it comes from, it can cause a student to seem non-chalant and indifferent to try to escape from their fears of failure and inadequacy even as the pressure builds.

Motivating your Child:

1. Provide an encouraging and secure home environment.  Children need to feel that their parents value learning, value them.  If you show your child your encouragement and approval when it comes to education they will likely develop a similar attitude.  Let your child know that failure is a part of life and the learning process, show them its okay to fail as long as they tried.  If they are not afraid to fail, they are more willing to participate and accept challenges, not only in academics, but in life.

2. Use rewards carefully.  If you offer a reward, such as a new game, a night out, etc. for every good thing your child does, they will begin to only do the minimalist work to achieve their goals with no feeling of exultation in achieving it, because they are only doing it for the reward, not for the satisfaction of work well done it should be giving them.

3. Avoid power struggles.  Make a clear cut list of unacceptable behaviors and resulting consequences and stick to it!  If you hedge or suddenly change the punishment for, say a failing grade, your child is not given a set guideline to follow, so how can they be predictable and accurate as well.  If you act reasonably and calmly and stick to the rules you laid out, chances are your child will follow suit.

4. Build on strengths.  Find an area in which your child excels and focus on it.  Constant failure with a subject or activity they are just not good at will give them low self esteem and make them feel less worthy in your eyes, therefore their motivation will be lowered.  If your child can find success in a non-academic setting or even with a certain academic subject it will give them the confidence they need to be able to have success in all other ventures of their life.  

In conclusion, unmotivated students do want to succeed, but they are being held back by some sort of obstacle.  With patience, understanding, and hard work you can help your child find a path to academic achievement. 

12th Grade Parent Involvement Guide:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fK4kR8MtER2Bua16Yraivr2peHCMEnJy/view?usp=sharing 

11th Grade Parent Involvement Guide:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fERQFxhSf8YCahnrZ88gbtjlZK-9aeZX/view?usp=sharing 

10th Grade Parent Involvement Guide:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fDjlmbhwrFg9CGg84NHkuoh_tBHo-B6A/view?usp=sharing

9th Grade Parent Involvement Guide:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fBITGBf8MD-1v6Wzqv-164Rr4IwNccb8/view?usp=sharing