My Mammy

My Mammy

August 23, 2003

From northern Alaska to southern Miami,

Ain't no woman better than my dear dear mammy.

At first sunrise, she'd cook me eggs and hammy.

Then at sunset, she'd patch my worn pajami's.

And then for lunch, it was cheese and salammi.

Or perhaps a sandwich of peanutbutter and jammy.

She'd dry my tears not with a rag, but a soft clean chamois.

Then wipe my brow, when it was cold, wet and clammy.

I made her really sad once,

Oh damn me, damn me, damn me, damn me!

In gay Paris, the'd say she was a real 'Bon ami.'

Singing Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue,

We're sure she could win a Golden Grammy.

And her famous crisp canolli,

They know 'em way down south, in Alabami.

You know she'd always lend me a dollar,

Even when the economy would do a double whammy.

She'd be nice to me,

Even when no one else could even stand me.

She's kind to Karnak,

He's my favorite Swammie.

My mammy believes in the red, white and blue.

And good old Uncle Sammy.

From northern Alaska to southern Miami,

Ain't no woman better than my dear dear mammy.

And everyone here is sure to understan'me.