Family
Managing relationships with family can be difficult. It is also an important part of growing up. Fortunately, getting on with our families is a skill we can practice. Here are some articles we recommend.
Getting along with family
Articles to explore:
Disagreements in families are normal and can even be healthy. Here is a guide to resolving family conflict.
When family rules cause fights at home it can make everyone feel miserable. We’ve got some tips that can help ease the tension.
Having a hard time talking with your parents about an important issue? Check out these tips.
Opening up to family about your feelings
The following advice is based on this article from YoungMinds, a UK mental health organization for youth.
How family and friends can help
You might feel like they won't understand, but friends and family can surprise you. You would probably want to help people you love if they were struggling, so why wouldn't they feel the same about you?
Some of the ways they can help:
Spend time with you. Too much time on your own can make you feel worse. Just being around others is a simple way to feel more connected.
Talking things through. If you are stressed or feeling low, they can provide emotional support.
Notice changes in your mood. People who know you well will probably recognise when you are not feeling your best.
Give practical support. Friends can do things like coming with you to a party you feel nervous about or helping you plan a route to get there.
Support you with your counselling. Counselling sometimes introduces coping strategies. Your friends and family can help you to come up with strategy ideas and support you with counselling "homework".
How to open up to someone
Choosing to talk to someone about mental health problems is brave. And it's worth it, because it's the first step to feeling better. The best person might be someone who:
you trust
is easy to talk to
is kind
doesn't judge
is a good listener
you know well
has been through similar issues
Five tips for talking things through
Pick a good time when neither of you are busy or distracted.
Choose somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted
Explain how you are feeling and what's worrying you
Ask for advice and support. Be clear about what they can do to help, like coming with you to the Doctor's, giving you space, or spending more time with you.
Be clear about confidentiality. If you don't want them to share what you've told them, say so.
Dealing with family changes
Divorce, separation, illness in your family and other family changes can be tremendously difficult. It can mean losing the home, school and friends you are used to, as well as seeing less of one or more family members.
Many young people deal with these experiences, and there's support available to get you through it.
You might feel sad, guilty, angry or abandoned, or start having nightmares, needing more attention or having difficulties focusing in school.
Remember, it's not your fault and it doesn't affect how much your family loves you. It's OK to miss a parent who has left or to feel sad. It is OK and important to ask for support from someone you trust, like a friend, teacher or counsellor.
How to cope with family changes: Tips from other young people
If you're struggling with family changes, you might find it helpful to read these tips from other young people. Here are some tips from young people in the UK, who shared with YoungMinds what might help you cope during this difficult time:
"Tell a friend that you trust about how you are feeling. You are not alone, many people have gone through similar situations. Your friends are there to support you and cheer you up."
"Changes in the family is hard because it’s not the norm and you’re breaking a routine. My advice would be to not stress, try and find some sort of daily routine that you can focus on."
"It’s easy to feel like these changes are your fault it because of something you’ve done, but remember that isn’t the case. Family changes happen for so many reasons and it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong."
"Don’t expect to be the glue that keeps the family together. Your feelings and thoughts surrounding your situation are valid. Remember to breathe and take each day as it comes."
"It’s normal to feel uncomfortable, scared or apprehensive about change. Speak to someone about how you feel and see if there’s a way of making the situation more comfortable for you."
Articles to explore:
It can be rough on the whole family when parents split up. You don’t have to go through it alone.
What is this big thing called grief? Grief can be tough to cope with, but there are things you can do to help ease the pain.
It can be rough on the whole family when parents split up. You don’t have to go through it alone.
Supporting family when they are struggling
Check out these tips from fellow students at SIS on how to support family when they are struggling.
