HOW TO COOK AN AMOGUS

This is an article written by the Amogus Eradication Division. A-Corp does not condone this behavior. Warning: this content is very disturbing and graphic.

Translated from Russian:

Greetings. My name Igor. I am with the AES. I am here to teach you how to cook Amogus.

In the wild, you can find many Amogus. They are scum of earth, but we as human do not know what to do with them. So we cook them.

To cook Amogus you need Amogus, knife, electrical oven, fire, teriyaki sauce, psychedelic mushrooms, 2 tons water, and anteater tongue.

Once you have ingredients, take knife and cut Amogus into 8 pieces. Once you do that, put Amogus in oven for 3 hours. Just kidding don't do that. If you do that your oven will break, it cannot handle Amogus. Instead, set oven on fire.

Once Amogus done, take 2 tons water and put fire out, then wait for dry. When Amogus dry, apply teriyaki sauce. Once done, consume psychedelic mushrooms. Once done, take anteater tongue and shove it in eyeball.

Now you have Amogus ready to eat. Thank.