A Key Lesson: Helping Your Students End the Year Well

 What is your approach to ending?  Most of us fall somewhere on the continuum between loving the outward fanfare and celebration to preferring to slip away quietly and avoid goodbyes altogether. I am a “slip away quietly without fanfare” kind of person. I need to remind myself that, although comfortable for me, this is not necessarily what is best for my students. Whatever your personal style, it is important that you take time to recognize your student’s preferences and needs throughout the ending process. 

As you count down the days until summer, keep in mind that some students may not be excited about the upcoming changes. Our brains thrive on safety, routines, structure, and connection. Time spent away from school, changes from one grade to another, and transitions to new school buildings may interfere with these needs being met for many of your students. 

Helping your students deal with ending, change, and loss is one of the most important lessons you will teach them. Consider the following to help your students and yourself end well.

1. Recognize and process emotions.

Acknowledge and discuss the fact that endings involve mixed emotions. Talk with students about your own variety of emotions and how you deal with them. Use activities that help students express and explore their emotions like art projects, journaling, cards, scrapbooks, and worksheets. Your students will learn and grow by watching you, so participate in the activities with them. 

2. Reflect on and celebrate accomplishments.

Take time to reflect on and celebrate each student’s successes. Don’t focus solely on academic achievements. Include other areas of growth such as social skills, friendships, problem-solving, patience, leadership, decision-making, and creativity. Lead activities and conversations that help students recognize their growth. Help them see that the efforts they have made and skills they have learned will serve them well in the future. Share your excitement for what lies ahead. Your hope and confidence in them will be contagious.

3. Share the impact of relationship.

Express your appreciation for the opportunity to be a part of your students’ lives and for all the great memories that you each can carry with you. Relationships change us and can impact us for life. Let them know that you will remember them and will always want the best for them. If possible, leave your students with a tangible reminder of your connection and the good you see in them. Written notes, or small tokens to remember you by can be a source of encouragement for many years. I was recently reminded of this when a former student of mine stopped by to tell me how a note I had written 20 years ago had impacted her life. She still has it. Most of us remember the lasting influence of the teachers or counselors who saw good in us.

4. Pave the way for those who struggle.

Consider helping create a pathway for ongoing support for those who need it. If a student developed a strong relationship with you (or another adult) and they will not be seeing you anymore, try to connect them with a support person in their next grade or school. If support is needed in the summer months, consider connecting a student with community resources.

As you close out the school year, keep in mind that many students will not be at their best. Change is hard, and when stressed, we move to protective and reactive behaviors. You will probably see some regression in behavior among your students. Some will withdraw from their relationship with you, while others will become clingier. This does not mean that all the strides they have made are lost. It’s just part of the ending process. 

Be steadfast. Take care of your own stress level. Your students need you to be regulated to help them through this time. What you share, teach, and model for your students during this ending process will be one of the most important and life-long lessons you have taught all year.

Kathy Van Horn, M.Ed., LP 

VP of Lakeside and 

Director of NeuroLogic® by Lakeside