OKAY WE ADMIT IT; OUR OWNER DOESN'T KNOW HOW THE TRUCK WORKS

On August 12, 2024 a call was broadcasted over statewide frequency of a armed robbery taking place at the Burger Shot in Sandy Shores. Upon law enforcement arrival, they spotted 4-wheeled off-road vehicle on the scene, that quickly took off from them. Units from the local SSPD and Sheriff's Office began chasing the vehicle. This chase led law enforcement through seemingly every corner of the city before coming to a fatal end at the abandoned Lago Mines located at 400 Lago Pass. Shortly after the chase came to an end, automatic gunfire could be heard in the area. A Staff Sergeant with the Blaine County Sheriff's Office stated they had opened fire on the suspect and they had suffered multiple GSW’s with “approximately 8-10” Law Enforcement Officers on this pursuit. The same Staff Sergeant also reported that the victim in this case- who will remain unidentified- was brought to a nearby hospital in unknown condition. As of publication, the status of the victim is unknown.

NOW SELLING HOOKERS AND BLOW

At approximately 02:10 ZULU on August 16th, officers were made aware of a bomb threat called in for Marina Beach PD office up in Roxwood. Upon arriving on the location, minimal law enforcement activity was present. However, in a few short minutes more units began arriving. According to radio traffic intercepted by our team, there were reports of blinking lights on the west side of the building. Officers quickly moved back from the station and the EOD robot was deployed at approximately 02:28Z. The area surrounding the MBPD was quickly evacuated by law enforcement officers for safety.

Officers created roadblocks and shut down traffic along Riverfront Ave. advising all persons attempting to enter the area to vacate for their own safety. 

02:39Z - The EOD robot vacated the MBPD as paramedics arrived on site. At this time there are no known injuries.

02:42Z - An EOD member in full bomb-squad apparel can be seen approaching the building and heading toward the west side. Paramedics remain on standby. Officers have extended the perimeter around the building going as far back as Pearl Road.

02:52Z - All LSFD personnel can be seen leaving the cordoned off area. The roadblock remains in place.

03:00Z - Roadblock was taken down and all resources returned to normal operation. Riverfront Ave. has been re-opened to all foot and vehicle traffic. An abrief interview with a deputy on site- Blaine K. 3C-951- was had where he can be quoted saying “EOD confirmed there were multiple charges set by a criminal assailant” when pressed further, the deputy reported that there were “More than one [explosives] but not too many”. An exact number was not provided. This Deputy can also be quoted saying “Thankfully nobody was injured within RCSO”. 

Officers do not yet know who set the devices- or why- but we here at Weazel news will keep you posted as the story develops.

TAKES HIT OF PROPOFOL AND SCREAMS:  "I'M THE KING OF STATION 10!"