IMPOSSIBORG INCIDENT
STARFLEET COMMAND – AFTER ACTION REPORT
SUBJECT: The Impossiborg Incident
DATE: Stardate 91038.22 (2416)
SUBMITTED BY:
Acting Captain Rahhmi Starchaser, USS STARCHASER
Captain Johann Hertzog, USS WEHRMACHT
General K’thor, son of Vathrek, Commander of the Krel’tor
THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL IS CLASSIFIED.
OVERVIEW
On Stardate 91038.02, an unorthodox encounter with Borg forces in the Ker'rat system occurred, following an open challenge transmission by Klingon General K’thor. Starfleet Listening Post Theta-4B misinterpreted the call as a distress signal and dispatched the nearest assets: Tactical Escort USS Wehrmacht and Tactical Carrier USS STARCHASER. The incident has since been classified “IMOSSIBORG” due to its improbable resolution and unconventional tactics.
I was night-shift lead When the distress call hit, I was also the ranking officer aboard Starchaser handling oversight of it's repairs until Starfleet found us a New Captain. Sensors picked up three heavily damaged Klingon ships engaging Borg. We arrived alongside USS Wehrmacht to find a Borg cube and two spheres tearing them apart. The Klingon vessels were obliterated seconds later. I gave the order to retreat. Wehrmacht took a critical strike to her starboard nacelle array, cutting off all power and mobility. We were outgunned and outclassed.
That’s when Dantastic whispered his ridiculous plan. I didn’t buy it, not even a little. But he had that steel look in his eyes... when he gets it, I know to trust him. It's like he knows things, and in some kind of wild, divine chaos ~ I took the gamble.
I hailed the Borg and as instructed, said, “We surrender. Cease fire. We will lower our shields and prepare to be boarded.”
The Cube paused. So did everything. We dropped shields. Flight deck readied. Dantastic stepped forward as I watched from above with half the crew ready to seal the deck. The Borg tried to assimilate him and failed miserably. That failure repeated. Again. And again. Until every damn Borg that could was fixated on him. They just… stopped doing anything else. It was like a logic trap. The collective had glitched.
While they obsessed, we struck. Sabah, Rob, Lemec, and I led the counter-offensive to secure engineering and the bridge. Nox rerouted power, Inada volunteered to beam aboard Wehrmacht to assist. Chibimai began de-assimilation triage. Ethan, somehow, used a plasma sword to defend not only himself but protect some Tribble pets. I don’t even want to know how that worked, but it did. Needless to say I will no longer object to Dantastic bringing him on away missions.
With Borg control offline, we cleared the flight deck. Dantastic refused to leave. Ordered the deck vented. He survived open space without an EV suit and we beamed him back once the last drone had frozen solid. I beamed with a team to the remaining disabled Klingon raider. They were disoriented, and more than a little angry. After a short brawl, Sabah and I convinced them to stand down. General K’thor was among them. We returned him to Starchaser, and he insisted on aiding the defense of the USS Wehrmacht.
He saved my life on the Wehrmacht bridge when a drone caught me mid-fight. I owe him. We all do.
In the end, Wehrmacht suffered heavy losses. Their Captain, Johann Hertzog, was assimilated during the fight. We recovered him, but… he hasn’t been the same. Nor have I. The Borg nanites got to me too. They started to work, then stalled. I blacked out after saying something dumb. “I am Rahhmi of Borg. Resistance is… cookies.” They shut down. They’re still in me. I know that. I feel them. They'll never be gone.
I won’t lie to you. I use them sometimes. They’re part of me now. We all walked away changed.
But we won.
That’s Starfleet. Even when the universe writes bad code... we debug it.
I was caught off guard by the strength of the Borg incursion. I issued a retreat order the moment I saw the cube’s regeneration spikes. Then we were struck. Plasma fires, EPS surges, half the crew vented. Wehrmacht died before I did. I regained awareness later. My body wasn’t mine. I remember… clarity. Noise. Then Rahhmi and her team. She fought through the bridge, bleeding, shielding herself with a disruptor she barely knew how to fire.
She tried to bring me back. She did. Sort of.
The implants don’t come off. Starfleet says I’m stable. But I know what’s under my skin. I see things sometimes. Hear harmonics in warp cores that shouldn’t exist. I don’t fear it. But I don’t trust it either.
Rahhmi saved the crew that remained. So did that madman Dantastic as well as the Klingon warrior. I now fully understood Klingon Fury in what I thought would be my last moments. The whole ship bought time with guts and illusion. The record will probably say we were reckless. It may not say we were brilliant.
But I was there. We beat the collective by confusing it. That’s as human as it gets.
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION | SOURCE: I.K.S. KREL'TOR (Recovered Data Core)
ENCRYPTION: HOUSE OF DOR’MAK MILITARY SIGIL // LEVEL-9 ENCRYPTION
SUBJECT: Battle Report - “Ker'rat Victory against Borg Armada”
AUTHOR: General K’thor, son of Vathrek, Commander of the Krel’tor
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: There were multiple types of encryption in this log and some data had to be manually recovered. This is my best guess at reassembling the log. I am including the original Klingon for elements where the universal Translator lacks nuance.
BEGIN ORIGINAL TEXT – KLINGON:
"wej DujmeywIj vIche' 'ej jISuvmeH yIghoS!
("My three ships I commanded, and I charged forth to battle!")
The Borg cube appeared in orbit of the shattered moon like a beast born of silence and hunger.
"jIHoHrup! Qel vI'oy'be'!"
("I was ready to kill! I feared no analysis!")
The Krel’tor led the charge. They adapted too quickly. My brothers' ships were devoured in light and screams.
vaj 'ach... veS yIqon 'e' vIwuq!
("So I decided… let the battle be recorded!")
Then, like a ghost with teeth, two Starfleet ships entered the fray—one sharp, one fat (Translator's Note: Likely referring to Wehrmacht and Starchaser respectively). They fought…
Not as diplomats but as beasts.
The sharp one pierced deep, but it's Fragility shown and was gutted, its entrails spilled to the stars. I prepared to claim its wreck for glory. I beamed aboard, blade in hand, expecting cowards. But the corridors ran red with Borg plasma, and I found humans at war with assimilation, using fists, fire, and madness. One of them: "Rahhmi", a curious Romulan, Commander of the fat ship. She bled from the face and still barked orders. Another, a madman, laughed while facing down the drones with nothing but a bare chest and confidence. I killed the drone that nearly took her. She was surprised. She did not thank me. I respected her for that.
"vaj jIyaj. yIntaH SuvwI'pu'vam!
("So I understood. These were warriors who lived.")
My own men... barely clinging to breath aboard the remains of my third ship... resisted evacuation. So I broke the floor panel open and dragged them out. Then I sent a signal: Truce. Temporary. Fight now. Hate later.
"maSuvtaHvIS, maHoHta'."
("While we fought together, we killed together.")
When it ended, the cube defeated. The drones? Ventilated.
The Federation did not gloat. They buried their dead and moved forward. I respect that more than bloodwine.
Return this message only to those who have known battle. Starfleet bleeds. Starfleet burns. Starfleet fights.
jIHoH 'e' vIchupbe' - jISuvbej.
("I do not suggest we kill them - I believe they can once again become a vicious and worthy ally.")
///
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES – STARFLEET INTELLIGENCE:
“Fat ship / sharp ship”: This is not an insult. Klingons often use visceral metaphors. The “fat ship” is the Starchaser (a carrier), the “sharp” likely being the Wehrmacht (escort).
“They buried their dead and moved forward.”: Klingon admiration is rare. This phrasing implies begrudging respect for Federation values, even when culturally alien.
“Fight now. Hate later.”: Common Klingon phrase used to indicate a battlefield truce. Used only when survival is preferable to mutual destruction.
“I do not suggest we kill them - I insist we continue to fight beside them.”: An endorsement of Starfleet cooperation. This is highly significant politically.
STATUS: Logged. Archived. Forwarded to Starfleet Diplomatic Corps: Klingon Liaison Division.
LEVEL 8 Clearance Required for Full Review.
CLASSIFICATION: LEVEL 10 – EYES ONLY
All logs from the Impossiborg Incident are to be encrypted and sealed under Omega Directive Protocol 49-B. Dissemination of information regarding “Dantastic,” “unassimilatable individuals,” or “Borg task-loop confusion” is strictly prohibited outside approved research teams.
