Introduction

Empathy is one of the basic skills you'll learn. Empathy is about learning to stand in another person's shoes to see the world through his or her eyes. One way we build empathy is through reflecting on our own experience and paying attention to how something makes us feel. We use our imagination to think about experiences we may not have had personally but have learned something about by reading or watching others.

A Sense of Loss

Some individuals begin to receive long-term services and supports after the death of a beloved spouse or family caregiver. Think about what it might mean to lose your privacy along with your loved one. Think how it might feel to have someone come into your home to help you do something because you can no longer do it for yourself. Or what it would be like to move into a nursing home or assisted living community and have to give up your home. Often, individuals move because their family wants them to move, not because they want to move. Even when a person has chosen to move, they face a loss of what is familiar and comfortable, a loss of control, a loss of identity and a loss of independence. Think about the feelings you just experienced in the exercise. Does it begin to make sense that people in our care might not want to do what we ask?

Other important losses include the following:

• Loss of a spouse or significant other
• Loss of a child or grandchild
• Loss of dear friends due to death

Accepting Help

Consider a time when you received help. Maybe it was after an injury or during an illness. How did it make you feel? For most people, being more dependent when injured or ill causes a mix of frustration, helplessness, resentment, gratitude, and relief -- and not necessarily in that order! The same is true for individuals receiving long-term services and supports. What helped you to accept help? Use your experience to understand what might help someone else.

Most people find it easier to accept help when their autonomy is respected. What is autonomy? It is another word for self-determination. It is different from independence, which is the ability to do something by one’s self.

An individual can be totally dependent and still have autonomy. Can you think of an example? See who others have named.

We can help individuals cope with loss and dependency by giving them as much control as possible over when, where, how, and by who services are provided; by giving choices and honoring preferences; and by being patient and understanding the situation from the other's point of view. In short, by providing person-directed care!