Partners in Caregiving
Module 5 - Lesson 4 of 5
Introduction
Bringing the family in as an integral part of the care team is essential to person-centered care. In addition to finding out what the person likes or enjoy doing, they can provide insights into behaviors whose meaning is not yet clear.
Warm Up
In some situations, families and caregivers can become harshly critical of one another. Caregivers are seen as doing too much or too little, and families are often criticized for not visiting often enough or visiting too often, and having too many opinions.
Recall a time when you found yourself taking sides or criticizing a care recipient or family member. What kinds of things did you find yourself thinking?
Now recall a time when you or your family were criticized by others. What kinds of things did you hear or think?
Take a moment to consider that underneath the critical thinking can be a mix of painful emotions and good intentions to help a person. Explore ways to find a common ground.
Dig In
We want families to be partners in care. They help maintain the personhood of care recipients. They have known them a lot longer than we have, and have stories to share.
Family members can help make sense of behavioral communications. And they come up with service, support, and care plans that better meet their loved one's needs and support their decision-making in the face of cognitive impairment.
Families don’t like to see their family members suffer any more than we do. When they hear about their loved one calling out, they want something done to ease the distress they’re experiencing. It would be very helpful for families if they’re kept informed of the efforts by caregivers to understand what’s going on and why their loved one calls out.
Significant Friendships
If you were to ask a person receiving services in an assisted living community what factors promote their quality of life, you may receive different answers. But as reported in the second annual United States of Aging Survey, relationships with friends and family outweigh financial concerns among older Americans seeking fulfillment in their senior years. Having company, companionship or a confidante is important in giving seniors a higher quality of life.
Family Feelings
The decision to move into an assisted living community is likely not an easy one for the family. It’s hard to see someone you love, especially a parent, having to leave his or her home when the time may come. It’s especially difficult for spouses to accept that they can no longer take care of their lifelong partners.
Most families experience a mix of feelings that include denial, sadness, anger, guilt, and frustration. Some may feel relief and accept that they made a necessary, although difficult decision. One of the surprises that some families find is that they now can experience the simple pleasure and joy of being with their family member when they’re no longer struggling to take care of their relative (for example, giving a bath or constantly worrying about them getting lost).
Caregivers in an ALF are encouraged to consider what it might be like to put themselves in the shoes of the family to see the situation from the family’s perspective. For many reasons, visiting someone in a new environment can be an uncomfortable experience. There may be few private places to sit, the environment may be noisy and the persons may be angry with his or her family and repeatedly ask to be taken home. Be sensitive to their needs and kind in response.
Wrap Up: Lesson 4
The family is an important part of the care team in either an ALF or home care situation. As we move along the continuum of person-directedness, we have naturally become more interested in the relationships that have been central to a person’s life and are part of who that person is. Person-directed care invites and nurtures the continued involvement of natural supports such as family and friends and fellow church members.