Swan Boats

Outbound, Magic Feather, AceAstro, ThemeParkPriest

Take a relaxing cruise around Central Park on the Swan Boats. Starting from the Bagel Boathouse, you'll travel counter-clockwise around Central Park and across the three stone bridges.

Statistics

  • 12 Boats

  • 26 Guests Per Boat

  • 4:30 Minute Runtime

  • 4160 Guests Per Hour (Theoretical Hourly Capacity)

The Cruise

As you disembark from the Bagel Boathouse, the Swan Boat reminds you to keep your head, arms, feet, and legs inside the ride vehicle at all times. The Boats slowly travel out of the station and towards the first of several dioramas. These dioramas nonverbally convey the history of New York City.

The first of the dioramas shows a small Lenape Village, built along the river. A Lenape Boy and Girl play with a Wild Wolf, who wags its tail excitedly. Across the river is a second diorama, showing two Dutchmen standing beside a Lenape Elder. One bears the Dutch flag, while the other drops golden coins. They purchase Manhatten Island for what is in today's currency a mere $900! If only the real estate stayed that low, I might afford a place outside Staten Island!

The Swan Boats pass under the first of three bridges. Emerging from underneath the bridge, the boats find New York City a rapidly-growing urban metropolis. Worker animatronics saw away at a log. On the other side, a massive flock of rock pigeons rests on the shore. They have found a new home in New York City, and are unlikely to leave anytime soon.


The Swan Boats pass under the second bridge, slowly revealing a forced-perspective model of the Statue of Liberty. This steady reveal is not unlike that of the countless immigrants who made the journey across the ocean to New York. This "melting pot" of ethnicities and culture would come to define New York for decades to come.

As the boats continue through the park, we come across a scaled model of a Roaring Twenties' New York, glitz and glamor and all. Across the bank, we can see two NYC Gangsters smuggling in crates to the nearest speakeasy.

The Swan Boats pass under the third and final bridge, entering New York in the 1950s. A consumerist paradise, this scaled model shows dozens of tiny cars zipping by towards the next high-rise shopping mall. Giant Pepsi Signs draw in the masses and a Yankees Baseball game gets everyone excited for another trip to the World Series. New York is on the rise.

In between all these dioramas, there are still moments of calm: time to enjoy the park's sights and look out into the Big City. The Swan Boats now enter a long stretch of this, taking the time to enjoy the tranquil parkgrounds. The Boats continue towards the edge of the park, entering a mysterious cave. All becomes silent.

The show-building

The second half of the Swan Boat journey takes us to New York's "modern-day", an interior show-building containing the space for a "grand finale" of our Swan Boat journey. But what finale will that be? Enter the brilliance of the "black-box", a continuously-changing ending to the Swan Boats. Every half-year or so, the show-building can be changed to accommodate the season, famous New York hit, or possibly even the latest big hit by 20th Century Fox: provided some loose connection-piece to NYC can be found.

Using this mindset, here are three potential "endings" to our Swan Boat journey. Please note, in all cases the Reading Music will be exactly what guests hear on their finale journey.

HOLIDAYS IN NEW YORK

For the holiday months of December, January, and February, the show-building becomes winter-themed. Snow gently falls from the buildings, producing a dreamlike sensation. Frank Sinatra's famous song cover, "Theme From New York, New York" plays. A crowd ice-skates outside the Rockefeller Center while another crowd sings famous holiday carols. As 20th Century Studios is located in Dubai, there is careful attention to avoid any religious symbolism, overt or subtle.

Reading Music

CATS ON BROADWAY

Celebrating New York City's Broadway comes a finale themed to one of the most iconic Broadway hits, and the fourth-longest ever to run on stage. After the failed 2019 film, Universal Pictures sold the distributing rights to 20th Century Fox, which hadn't actually bothered to watch the film. They then unknowingly creating this nightmare, which parents have sued the company for permanently scaring their young children.

The demonic, soul-possessed "Overture" from Cats (2019) tingles unsuspecting guests and innocent children as the darkness of night surrounds our Swan Boats. The Swans, never suspecting any better, unknowingly travel deeper and deeper into the rings of Hell, arriving at the little-known tenth layer. From the shadows we hear whispers:

Reading Music

♪ Jellicle cats, come out tonight, Jellicle cats, come one, come all, The Jellicle moon is shining bright, Jellicles, come to the Jellicle Ball ♪

Yellow eyes blink about in the darkness, but nothing else can be determined. A child screams. They watch over us like predators eyeing up their prey. The music continues to swell, and the yellow eyes start getting closer. Then, sudden darkness. No more eyes. The lights turn on, revealing an animatronic cat-demon hybrid in all its horror.

The cat excitedly welcomes us to the Jellicle Ball, "especially the kids!" This comes across the very wrong way. The Swan Boats continue along to the next room, where they enter the abandoned Egyptian Theater. On the graffiti-painted walls, we see what is either a Satanic Ritual or a 20th Century Fox Easter Egg... no one is really sure, nor willing to care.

All of a sudden, a dozen... "things" appear, illuminated by the moonlight. These cat-demon hybrids "dance" by slowly moving their bodies in weird poses and making faces at each other. Some adults ask, "is this sexual?" No one is really sure.

Finally, the song lightens up with the only good part of the hit movie, Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat! This tap-dancing cat desperately tries to save this nightmarish setpiece with an actually catchy song. Too bad all the kids are all crying by now to hear anything.

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE

20th Century Fox is excited to partner with Macy's for the Swan Boats Thanksgiving Day Parade, running the months of October and November. Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, there is no denying the Macy's Parade is a world-spectacle. Giant "balloons" appear from overhead, while a replica of New York from the Holidays set (snow removed) celebrates the festivities with balloons and streamers. A grand ol' marching band concludes the parade.

This is also an excellent opportunity for more major properties to partner with 20th Century Fox. In exchange for a hefty sum, their iconic character will be used as one of the balloons... allowing for more recognizable balloons and characters. 20th Centruy Fox sees this as an absolute win!

Reading Music

BACK in central park

Emerging from the show-building, the final diorama takes us to Central Park in the modern day. A young Asian-American Boy and African-American Girl playing with a Dog, who wags its tail excitedly. We have made it full circle around Central Park.