How to Practice Positive Self Talk

How to Practice Positive Self-Talk

Written by: Jordan Kadish

Reviewed by: Melissa Cammack, LPC

You have probably heard the age-old saying, “See the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty.” Sure, the saying is (for some) overused and a bit cheesy, but this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hold some valuable wisdom. A glass half-full or half-empty is a metaphor for your ability to view something negatively or positively. The glass remains the same, but the way you view it drastically changes your attitude, feelings, and perceptions of it—much like how the way you view and speak to yourself drastically changes your sense of self and self-esteem. 

The way we talk to ourselves has a profound impact on our mental health. Negative self-talk can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. On the other hand, positive self-talk can boost self-confidence, improve mood, and increase resilience. In this blog post, we'll explore why positive self-talk is so important for mental health and provide five ways to practice it in your daily life. 

The Importance of Positive Self-Talk for Mental Health

Positive self-talk is the practice of speaking to yourself in an affirming and supportive way. It's a way of counteracting the negative self-talk that many of us engage in on a daily basis. Negative self-talk can be harmful since it reinforces negative beliefs and can lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. Although this may seem obvious, many of us have a habit of spiraling into negative thought patterns, especially when something upsetting or discouraging happens in life. 

For example, say you get bad news that your company is downsizing, and has to let you go. This is a very unfortunate situation, as well as one that you had no control over. It may feel natural to blame yourself for the situation or feel hopeless, which can sound like the following thoughts: 

“If I wasn’t so bad at my job this never would have happened. Nobody else is going to want to hire me because I’m not good at anything.” 

“Now what will I do? This job was the only thing going well in my life. I’m basically worth nothing now.” 

“What will my friends and family think? They’ll be disappointed in me. I always mess things up.” 

Reading these thoughts in a blog post may make it simple to see that they are very negative, unhelpful in terms of the situation, and a bit catastrophic. Even though your company is downsizing, which had nothing to do with your performance, the thoughts all say something negative about you. 

Positive self-talk, on the other hand, can help break that cycle and promote positive beliefs and feelings. Research has shown that positive self-talk can have a number of benefits for mental health. For example, one study found that positive self-talk was associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression in college students. Another study found that positive self-talk was associated with greater resilience in people who had experienced traumatic events.

Take the previous situation, for example. Although just about anyone would be immediately upset by the news of losing their job, someone who works hard at practicing positive self-talk may have a different outlook on the situation. Positive self-talk in this situation may sound like this: 

“This is unfortunate, but I know that with hard work, I will get another job in no time.” 

“I have so many great qualities that employers would be lucky to have in an employee. I am determined, confident, amicable, and skilled.” 

“This layoff had nothing to do with my performance and has happened to multiple people lately. If they can get through it, so can I!” 

As you can see, the same experience happened, but the thoughts, and therefore the outlook on the situation, are completely different. The person who experiences negative self-talk may feel too unconfident and discouraged to even put themselves out there to get another job, whereas the person who experiences positive self-talk becomes more resilient and is able to push this negative situation aside and work towards and brighter future. 

5 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk:

1. Use Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to reinforce positive beliefs. They can be general ("I am worthy") or specific ("I am capable of achieving my goals"). The key is to choose affirmations that resonate with you and to repeat them regularly. You might write them down and put them somewhere you'll see them often, such as on a sticky note on your computer or on your bathroom mirror. You can also try this affirmation app, which will send affirmative notifications to your phone! 

2. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Reframing is the practice of taking a negative thought and turning it into a positive one. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I'll never be good enough," you might reframe that thought as "I am doing my best, and that's enough." Reframing takes practice, but it can be a powerful way to shift your mindset from negative to positive.

3. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is the practice of focusing on the good things in your life. When you're feeling down, it can be easy to focus on the negatives. But by practicing gratitude, you can shift your focus to the positives. One way to practice gratitude is to write down three things you're grateful for each day. They can be big things (like a promotion at work) or small things (like a sunny day).

4. Be Kind to Yourself

Many of us are our own worst critics. We beat ourselves up over our mistakes and shortcomings. But being kind to yourself is essential for positive self-talk. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Give yourself grace when you make mistakes, and focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses.

5. Visualize Success

Visualization is the practice of imagining yourself achieving your goals. It can be a powerful tool for boosting self-confidence and motivation. To practice visualization, take some time to visualize yourself achieving a specific goal. Imagine what it will feel like to accomplish that goal and the steps you'll take to get there.