Chapter 38

DOCTOR HEED’S WORDS rattle in my head, echoing like a pebble dropped in a metal tank as Marisa drags me along.

You’re lying, my own voice echoes with his. She wouldn’t.

But everything he said makes sense.

Too much sense.

Why Marisa didn’t like how powerful my sparks are getting.

Why Marisa wouldn’t tell me about her past.

Why Marisa lied about so much.

I try to remember. Where is she taking me? I must have asked. At some point, I must have asked. But the more I dig through my memories, the more the truth sinks in.

I never asked. I never questioned her. About any of it. Not until this past week.

Because I trusted her.

I start to go numb, but not in the fiery way of when I call my sparks. Truly numb. The world is a blur in my eyes, and my legs are suddenly heavy, and I can’t breathe. Everything is too much. Doctor Heed’s words in my head and the shouting behind us and the burning in my lungs and Marisa’s fingers around my wrist.

I double over, the bottoms of my shoes dragging on the linoleum. My wrist breaks away from Marisa’s grip, and she turns back, startled.

“Dany,” she starts to say.

A gunshot, like the universe breaking in half. I scream, covering my head, and Marisa cries out.

She stumbles. Falls.

There’s blood on her side.

Do something, Dany. Do something.

Marisa is hurt.

Marisa, who protected me all my life.

Marisa, who might be the one who wants to cut me apart.

“Hold your fire!” Doctor Heed shouts. No more gunshots come.

I break out of my trance and hurry to Marisa’s side. She’s clutching her ribs, her fingers staining red.

Footsteps. Doctor Heed.

“Dany,” Marisa warns, and pushes me aside. She fires two shots down the hall, and Doctor Heed and his goons cuss and dive for cover. Marisa grabs my arm and shoves open the nearest door, hauling us both in.

I scramble as far as I can from the door. It’s a small room, a broom closet, and it only takes a few scurries for my back to hit a clutter of cleaning tools in the corner. I huddle there, covering my head, knowing I should stop cowering, knowing I should stop hiding. I call for my sparks, but the order gets lost in the snowstorm in my head, and I can’t stop shaking, can’t stop crying.

The door knob rattles. I know it won’t take long for Doctor Heed to break it down.

Come on, Dany. Do something.

But my eyes land on Marisa, and the order scatters again.

“Dany.” Marisa crawls over, still holding her ribs. “Listen to me. Remember everything we talked about?”

I stare at her through my tears. Her sickly pale skin. The blood spreading on her coat. The fire in her eyes, despite it all.

The door knob stops rattling. “Dany,” Doctor Heed says. “Open the door.”

“Is it true?” I say. “What he said? That you—that it was you who wanted to—”

“Dany.” She holds my shoulder tight. “You can’t listen to him.”

“He said it was you who wanted to cut me apart,” I say, my voice splintering. “He said you were taking me somewhere…somewhere…”

“Dany,” Doctor Heed says outside. “I know it isn’t easy to break away from her. She tricked you good. But you know what’s right, Dany. You know she’s lying to you.”

“Dany,” Marisa says, and I feel like she and Doctor Heed are pulling me between them, pulling until I break. “Dany, I…I…”

But her words bleed away, and I can see shame in her eyes. Guilt.

I shrink away.

“Dany,” she says, eyes filling with tears. “Dany, there’s a lot I didn’t tell you. There’s a lot I couldn’t…I didn’t…” She sobs. A gasp of a sob. “But I swear. I swear. I never wanted to cut you apart. I saw what he did to the other kids. Doctor Heed was going to turn you into something you do not want to be. I had to get you away.”

“Dany,” Doctor Heed says outside, and I cover my head, wishing I could shrivel away into nothing.

“Listen to me,” Marisa says. “Listen. You remember everything we talked about, right?”

Without lifting my head, I nod, gritting back my sobs.

“Then you run. I’ll boost you up to the window. I’ll keep them distracted here. Understand?”

Window. I didn’t even notice a window. I picture myself climbing out of it, dropping in the snow, running. Alone.

“Dany, do you understand?”

Slowly, I look up at her, my cheeks damp with tears. Doctor Heed made Marisa sound like a person who only cares for her own goals. A person who doesn’t care about me. A person who is selfish.

A selfish person wouldn’t sacrifice themselves. Not like this.

There’s something Marisa isn’t telling me. There’s something real in what Doctor Heed told me. I don’t know which parts of their stories are true, or which parts are false.

But I can’t let them kill Marisa.

I can’t just let her die.

She’s everything. She’s everything. She took care of me. She protected me. She knows me and she loves me and she holds me when I cry and I need her. I need her.

“No,” I say. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I’m hurt,” she insists. “I’m sick. I can’t come with you.”

“No.” I dive into her arms, clinging hard to her. “I can’t. I need you. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Dany—”

“Cardinal rule,” I say through my sobs. “We stay together. We stay together.”

I clench my fists. I call for my sparks. We have to fight our way out of this. I have to be strong.

But my power is a weak ripple in my hands, and when They break down the door and tear Marisa away, all I can do is scream.