Chapter 20

Dear diary.

Marisa wants to say something. I can tell because she keeps taking an extra deep breath. But then she doesn’t say anything and just keeps driving.

We’ve been going for three hours. Now we’re going into a truck stop. Marisa tells me to turn around, and she wipes the cop’s blood off my neck. I don’t say thank you. Why would I. She’s mad at me anyway.

She says, “I’ll get you some food and water. Stay here.”

I stay because there’s nowhere else I can go.

She comes back with energy bars and water. I’m so hungry. I know I’m eating the energy bars too fast, but I can’t help it.

And she’s doing it again. Taking a deep breath like she wants to say something, and then changing her mind. It’s so annoying. Just spit it out.

She says, “We need to talk about the sparks.”

I don’t know what she wants me to say. I just ignore her and drink some water.

And she’s doing it AGAIN. Taking a breath. Changing her mind. I say, “What?”

She takes a long time to say, “You need to be careful.”

I have to be careful? She’s the one who went out and broke our cardinal rules.

She says, “Your sparks aren’t supposed to be visible. It could have been dangerous back there.”

I say, “I was trying to protect us.”

She says, “I know, but…” She’s thinking about how to put it. “Your powers are growing. Even faster than I thought. And I don’t know how much more it will grow. I just…I don’t want it to get to a point where you can’t control it.”

What is she talking about? Did she not see what I did? I say, “I CAN control it.”

She still doesn’t believe me. I can tell.

I say, “I CAN. You SAW me.”

She says, “You can. For now.”

She makes me so mad. Those were the biggest sparks I ever made. Nobody got hurt. SHE was the one who shot somebody. None of it was my fault. I didn’t get caught because They happened to see me. The cops were ALREADY THERE. The motel owner CALLED THEM because she recognized BOTH OF US. It’s not because I got careless, but Marisa is making it all about ME, how I should have somehow done better, as if my power is some super radioactive bomb that should never be used, as if my power didn’t SAVE us, and all this time SHE was the one who went out to meet one of our goddamn enemies.

I say, “Why did you meet Lilian?”

She looks surprised. “How did you know that?”

I say, “I heard you. You lied to me. You said you wouldn’t call her anymore. Why did you meet her? You said we were supposed to stay away from anyone from the clinic. That includes her! You keep telling me everyone at the clinic is bad, but you never include her, and I don’t get it!”

She says, “It doesn’t matter!”

I say, “It does! It matters because this is my life too! It’s my life and you don’t get to not tell me things! It’s not fair!”

I’m yelling. I know I shouldn’t be, but I don’t care. I’m just so angry. Marisa doesn’t argue back. She just puts her hands on the steering wheel and closes her eyes.

She says, “It doesn’t matter because it was a lie. It was all a lie. She said whatever she needed to get me away from you, and that’s how the cops knew when to catch you alone. She was part of it. I know she was.”

She looks so sad that I can’t be mad at her anymore, and I’m even madder at myself for forgiving her so easily. I stare at the gas station price sign and try hard not to cry. It’s not working.

Marisa says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone. I should have known better.”

Yeah, you should’ve.

I hear her turning in her seat to face me. She says, “Dany. What do I have to do? How do I make it up for you?”

I spin around and say, “Promise you’ll never do anything stupid like that again.”

She nods and says, “I won’t. I promise.”

“And never, EVER lie to me again.”

“I won’t.”

That’s it. But it doesn’t sound like enough.

“And you owe me two ice creams now.”

And then we’re both laughing even though I’m still crying, and she hugs me. Somewhere deep deep down I’m still mad at her, but for now, all I care about is how much I don’t want to let go.

-END OF PART 2-