Monicah lives by the saying that a little kindness goes a long way and costs nothing. Perhaps her fondness for this adage is rooted in the bullying she received as a child because she was “so skinny”.  She has now learnt to embrace the body she has been given and spends time each day on maintaining her physical health.  Most mornings, Monicah can be found walking along the beach, a time where she is able to reflect on her life and share her musings, live-streamed to her 10,000+ TikTok followers. She is a skilled user of social media platforms, for a variety of purposes, whether to keep in touch with, or engage with her many Facebook followers, communicate with family and friends in different parts of the world, keep up to date with Kenyan politics, find a quick recipe for dinner or learn a new makeup technique.  Social media has become an indispensable part of Monicah’s daily life now and she happily admits she can’t live without her phone.

Wairimu was born in Eldoret, Kenya, known colloquially as the “City of Champions” due to the many great athletes who originated there.  Unlike her maternal grandparents who were farmers with hectares of land to cultivate and a large brood of children, her parents had embraced the urban lifestyle, and become business people, her father working selling automotive spare parts and her mother employed in the clothing retail business.  Monicah agreed she had been interested in fashion from quite a young age, though she stated it was not inspired by her mother, but perhaps even despite her. While she is the eldest of 5 siblings, all girls, born over a period spanning more than 20 years, young Wairimu was not a confident child.  At school, she exceled at being average, purposely keeping her head down and flying under the radar as best she could, because much of the attention she received was not positive and as a result she had issues with self-esteem.

This is not to say, however, that there were not happy times in Wairimu’s childhood.  She had plenty of friends, and since parents worked long hours to support their families, children were often left to their own devices, without direct adult supervision.  She fondly recalls how she and her friends were able to wander, miles and miles in fact, on nature walks, exploring their physical environment without a care in the world, being independent but also looking out for each other, so different from the way that parents need to safeguard today’s youngsters.

As a young woman, Monicah spent some time volunteering with the Kenyan Red Cross, and worked for a brief time on a measles vaccination campaign.  It was the first time she was recompensed for her effort and she quite enjoyed paid work.  Once she finished high school, she quickly realised that she needed to engage in gainful employment, as her father ceased all pocket money and she still needed funds to buy basic personal hygiene essentials.  Her cousin recommended she try for a cashier’s job at a local casino where he worked, and Monicah was successful in getting the job. However, her father’s reaction to her joyful news was both disheartening and troublesome and her mother would not stand against him in Monicah’s defence.  He was convinced that young women working at the casino were heading into a life of prostitution, and he told Monicah bluntly that she would take the job there over his dead body.  So, at the tender age of 18, Monicah saw no option other than to rebel.  With her cousin, she worked late into the evening at the casino, crashed on his sofa at the end of the shift, and only returned to her parent’s home during their work hours, a pattern which lasted many months until she had saved sufficient money to be able to live independently, out of home. While she is in a much more stable place in her life now, Monicah will not easily forget the hardships she endured.

Reflecting on her past, Monicah admits that her greatest achievement has been her bravery in leaving Kenya.  Her parents and sisters are all still in Kenya and show little interest in being elsewhere, while Monicah always knew her destiny was calling from abroad. She was impressed by the life-story of her paternal aunt, who had had a long-term German boyfriend.  Young Wairimu thought that was “pretty cool” and made the conscious decision that she too wanted to marry a foreign man, an aim her mother stated was outright crazy. Given a choice, Monicah would choose to remain forever 25, and since meeting her now-husband Randy, an American, not long after that “magic” age, she has not looked back. Monicah’s words of encouragement to her teenage self would include the promise that life would indeed get better so she should remain courageous and confident.

Monicah has used her natural resilience to weather the storms she has faced, and is still to face.  She has been on the receiving end of racial stereotyping and taunts even here in Hua Hin, a place with such ethnic and cultural diversity that you would think everyone would know better.  I have seen Monicah in action in such a situation, and was in awe of her politeness, self-control and dignity.  Monicah makes the deliberate choice to call out racist language and slurs, and then walks away, with poise and composure, not descending to the level of her abuser. This displays a most admirable strength of character.  According to Monicah, her weakness is that she prefers to trust people who then sometimes go on to disappoint her profoundly, as they have not held themselves to the same high standards that she expects of herself.  But one can attribute that to the optimistic nature she has purposely cultivated.

Parenting a pre-teen can be a tricky road to navigate, as Monicah is finding out.  Children of that age still need boundaries, but are happy to test them at every opportunity.  Angel is now 11 years old, and can be verbally confrontational with her mother.  Gifted academically, Angel seems to enjoy taking her mother to task about parenting decisions she makes.  Monicah is proud of Angel’s forthright nature, yet finds it difficult at times to know how to respond.  Monicah is still learning about herself, and is only really at the start of an inner journey to discover who she is.  She has unresolved, repressed feelings and experiences from her childhood that she is still processing as they rise in her memories, and she makes comparisons between her life and that of her child at the same age.  Although Angel may not see it yet, there is no comparison between the authoritative approach of Monicah’s father who believed that children “should be seen and not heard”, which caused the young Wairimu social anxiety, and Angel’s rather more privileged and permissive upbringing. Monicah admires that Angel is growing up in a world full of opportunity and glows when people say she is a good mum, compliments she finds much more genuine than superficial comments about her looks.

Monicah finds happiness in so many different places, events and people.  Thailand is her favourite place in the world and a stroll along the beach brings her tranquillity.  Looking forward to more travel in the future, in particular taking her daughter back, yet again, to Africa to experience her cultural heritage, brings a smile. One of Monicah’s great hopes for the future is that eventually, race will no longer be an issue as people will become so racially and culturally mixed that the terms black and white will hold no relevance. Monicah also finds happiness in her circle of true friends, who all have the ability to show up when needed.  She believes that while it is simple to be a fair-weather friend, true friendship reveals itself in the hardest of times. And Monicah finds happiness in her home, her safe place where she can just be herself, with no regard to public expectation. She confided that the mellowness of “a little Mary Jane” is an occasional guilty pleasure and that she doesn’t actually drink wine as often as one would think from her social media posts. This is again a discrepancy between her public and private personas. Monicah doesn’t feel the need to make other people happy.  It is her firm belief that each person’s happiness is their personal responsibility.

A very social being, Monicah loves to party. Music is guaranteed to make her happy, whether it be Afro beats, R&B or pretty much anything else with rhythm.  Music will see her dancing and singing around the house “like a crazy person”. It takes a lot to truly annoy Monicah, but at the core of her annoyance you will usually find a rude, inconsiderate person. Not surprising really, when you know how considerate Monicah is of others.  Her 19-year-old sister is currently studying at nursing school in Kenya and Monicah tries to send her money as often as she can.  It’s just the person she is.

Yet another example of Monicah’s selfless giving is her involvement in this year’s Mrs National Universe pageant, which will be held here in Hua Hin at the Amari from December 12th to 17th, with coronation night being the 16th.  Monicah will be there to pass her crown to its next recipient, but she has already begun her pivotal backstage role.  She is mentoring the next Kenyan contestant, a woman of similar age, a mother, and an English teacher living in Bueng Kan.

Is competing personally in another pageant off the cards for Monicah/Wairimu?  She doesn’t want to have to maintain the level of perfection required of a professional model, yet she doesn’t rule it out, especially if it were a fully international pageant which gave her the chance to travel somewhere exotic.  Time will tell, but you can be confident that Randy and Angel will lead the cheer squad if the opportunity presents itself.

Published 12th November, 2023