So, how does a girl of English parentage end up married to a Canadian of Czech heritage, and living for over half her life so far on the continent of Asia, so remote from all of the above?  The answer to that question is as long as Denise’s 71-year lifepath so far. One easy-to-understand part of the complex person that is Denise is that she has an abiding love and respect for life in all its forms.  She understands that humanity is part of a complex and interconnected whole, while paradoxically at the same time being less significant than ants on a pinhead when we speak in terms of humanity’s place in the cosmos.  That fact may be hard for some people to visualise, but Denise has always admired people such as Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu.  Peace-makers all, they are people able to see the big picture, and Denise likes to both emulate and surround herself with spiritually-minded, artistic people who try to embrace thinking globally.  Indeed, Denise’s greatest hope for the future is that the world’s people can learn to live in peace, following what has become known as The Golden Rule : "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  Although it appears in the Bible, there is evidence of this very idea in ancient Egypt in the story of “The Eloquent Peasant” which was recorded between 2040 and 1650 B.C.E.  It is indeed disheartening that people have known of this simple way to peaceful co-exist for millennia but yet we still fail to overcome our divisiveness.

Denise was born in Tanzania in British colonial times, an only child, and by all accounts had a wonderful, almost magical, childhood. She still has an affinity with African people, having been surrounded by them from infancy.  Denise’s mother would often recount the story of Denise’s first laughter, from her pram, as their Tanzanian helper, a gentleman with long, long earlobes, stood over the pram and wobbled his head from side to side, making the bells attached to his ears tinkle. To this day, Denise believes that “the best thing you can do is send your kids travelling around the world”. Familiarity and acceptance of difference could be considered essential elements for bringing about world harmony.

In East Africa, she was captivated by the seemingly endless, pristine wilderness and the abundance of animals it contained. Denise finds it difficult to reconcile the huge herds of animals she saw in her childhood, her eyes round with wonder, with the endangered status that so many of the larger African animals now possess, thanks to environmental degradation, habitat destruction, hunting and poaching. This fact is one she points to, to support her belief that the natural world is a much worse place than that of her youth.  Another problem Denise sees, along with many respected scientific bodies, is that over-population may eventually lead to the death of our species.  Camping out, being in the wild and listening to the lions roaring at night, a passion she shared with her father, may soon no longer be an achievable experience, marvellous though it may be.

After school, Denise headed to the bright lights of London at a time in the “hippy era” and lived in a small apartment on the trendy King’s Road, Chelsea. Looking back with fondness, Denise remembers it being a time of excitement, freedom and perhaps a little experimentation. It was on a trip back to Tanzania to visit her parents that Denise’s mum was keen to introduce her to a “charming young man”, who Denise laughed at on first sight because of his comical dress sense.  He was wearing a Fez! Jim, a Canadian, and now Denise’s husband, didn’t find it easy to secure her affections as she had received an interesting job offer in Nairobi and was not thinking to start a serious relationship.  When Jim, afraid of losing her, asked her to marry him, she told him that was simply not going to happen.  It was the sage words from her mother, over tea at 3am in the morning, which convinced Denise that Jim might indeed be the right person for her, despite the inopportune timing. At her parents’ insistence the pair waited until 4 days after Denise turned 21 to wed, while using the intervening 7 or so months to test the mettle of their relationship with a backpacking tour of India, Nepal and Kashmir, on a shoestring budget.  Overcoming illness and a number of hardships together, they knew their relationship could go the distance.  In 2022, the couple celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

For much of their married life, it has been Jim’s job opportunities which dictated their location in the world, involved as he was in economic development projects in several countries. During this time Denise studied for a Bachelor in Comparative Religion which she completed in her mid-30s and worked as a yoga teacher, in various healing therapies and had a variety of other roles while raising their two sons, both of whom were deliberately born back in the UK for the sake of obtaining dual nationality.  Denise and Jim have one precious granddaughter courtesy of their eldest son and his wife, but are not expecting any more as their other son harbors doubts about the wisdom of parenthood in our current world position.

Denise has had a life of rich experiences that other people can only dream about, but many of them arose out of serendipity.  Her deep interest in Buddhism goes way back, likely beginning with her interest in yoga, but then becoming more profound as she appreciated there is so much more to yoga that holding body poses. Her appreciation of Buddhism was intensified by the family’s move to Nepal at a time when Tibetans were fleeing from a Chinese invasion, across the Himalayas and into Nepal.  

 A group of people including Denise befriended some of the monks and Tibetan refugees in Kathmandu and was fascinated by their remarkable stories of resilience and survival, as well as the spiritual teachings they offered.  Most of these teachings were translated by Erik Pema Kunsang, a Dane, who had worked hard to learn both Dharma Tibetan, used in spiritual teaching and colloquial Tibetan, spoken in everyday life. Much as Denise was enthralled by what she learnt, the refugees were also interested in learning about the new world in which they found themselves, with its previously unencountered cultures and people. A lot of frank, stimulating and joyful sharing ensued.  For a considerable time, Denise remained unaware that they had befriended a group of very prominent Tibetan spiritual leaders, Lamas, and Rinpoches, including His Holiness 16th Karmapa, who she still sees as a role-model, a truly “realised being”. 

Before coming to live in Hua Hin around six years ago now, Denise lived and worked in a volunteer capacity in Bangkok for 12 years. One interesting job was working as a guide in the National Museum Bangkok, where she mainly guided in the Hindu and Buddhist sections. Indeed, she is still invited to the Museum’s Annual Guiding Workshop, to give the introductory lecture on Buddhism to guide trainees. While many people disliked the Covid era because of its lockdowns and limitations, Denise was able to embrace and exploit the opportunity it presented her to continue deepening her understanding of different aspects of yoga and healing.  Course content which had previously only been delivered in face-to-face mode became available to access online, so with Jim’s encouragement, Denise began to study Yoga with Ayurveda, at Mahidol University.  Ayurveda is a natural system of medicine, which originated in India more than 3,000 years ago, and has recently gained popularity all over the world.

Denise believes she first visited Hua Hin in the early 1980s, with regular visits happening since she began living in Thailand on a permanent basis. Although she embraced the hectic pace of Bangkok, and enjoyed living there together with her parents as they aged, eventually, when Jim retired, the pair looked towards a quieter, more peaceful yet still convenient lifestyle, within a reasonable proximity of Bangkok. Denise and Jim bought Denise’s much-loved Dad to Hua Hin with them when they made the move, her mother already having passed away. Denise received a wonderful gift from her mother as she lay in hospital dying. Denise had shared her mother’s favourite poetry with her again, and after saying her goodbyes to everyone else, she offered comfort to Denise telling her in a whisper that “dying is beautiful, don’t be afraid.” Denise has taken this advice to heart and has little trepidation about her own eventual death. In recent times, Denise has stared down a cancer diagnosis which led to both surgery and prolonged chemotherapy, targeted immunotherapy and radiotherapy, strengthened by her mother’s dying gift. Denise lost her dad too, about 18 months ago now, at the age of 96, and she firmly believes the grief of his passing was a trigger for her cancer.

As Denise has aged, she has perceived a change is her attitude to life.  She is learning to let go of past events and possessions and to take joy in the small things, such as her first cup of tea on her balcony at sunrise or a piece of cake to appease her sweet-tooth.  Although she has a bucket list including catching the train from China to Lhasa in Tibet, and on through her beloved Himalayas, as well as travel to southern India and more frequent travel to visit special friends around the world, Denise is not in a rush anymore. She is grateful that modern technology and social media allow her to stay in contact with loved ones, though she is able to switch off when she wants peace, tranquillity and a respite from noise pollution. A fun-loving, loyal, philosophical healer, Denise is likely to send you off from an encounter with her, with one of her favourite sayings, “I wish you enough.”