Elmi Smit-Deurhof

Elmi was born in Woerden in The Netherlands over 70 years ago now, the fourth of 5 children in her family, which was neither rich nor poor.  Elmi’s father owned a construction company, and as was the practice at the time, her mother was a housewife.  Elmi recalls having a childhood full of simple pleasures such as playing in the largish garden of their home, going to the swimming pool which opened in the summer season, and enjoying board and table games with her siblings and friends when the weather was less favourable.  She is aware that the children of today are not granted the freedom she had as a child, mainly due to safety concerns in today’s cities and towns.

Elmi was a student who didn’t attract much teacher attention, positive or negative. After her high school years, Elmi began her working life, first as a secretary in a law office, then in an accounting firm.  She met her husband Gerard at the age of 18, when he was 21, and admits it wasn’t a case of love at first sight, and that it took the pair quite a while to realise and then acknowledge to each other that there was going to be something more than friendship between them. The couple married two years later, in 1969, Elmi continuing to work to support them while Gerard finished his studies, something she did gladly, knowing that she was building their joint plans for their future together.  Some years later, Elmi and Gerard had two sons, who between them have given Elmi 7 much-loved grandchildren.

Her family is at the centre of Elmi’s universe and their happiness and security is a core desire. Elmi believes her greatest life achievement has been having a solid marriage as the base to build a strong family unit.  She treats all people equally well and prides herself on appreciating all people for their own unique qualities, never relying on racial or cultural stereotyping. She has her own beliefs, or lack of them in some cases, but has no interest in forcing them on others.

Elmi first came to Hua Hin about 20 years ago on a golfing holiday.  The couple were attracted to Hua Hin’s climate, The Netherlands having bitterly cold winters, and Gerard’s native Suriname having a tropical climate. And even 20 years ago Hua Hin was known in Thailand for its proliferation of golf courses. Several more holidays here followed before the decision to try the retirement lifestyle in Hua Hin in 2013. Initially Elmi expected to rent a house, but finding the right development, the couple speedily signed up to begin the construction of their own home, perhaps an impulsive but certainly not a rash decision, as it has turned out.  One of Elmi’s character strengths is her ability to make quick but highly rational decisions, and then keep backing herself. Along with the climate, Hua Hin is an attractive place for Elmi because she feels very safe in the local community, at least as safe as she felt living in Rotterdam, where she lived, worked and raised her children for so many years. In addition, Elmi has a particular fondness of spicy food, which was certainly an additional factor in deciding to live in Thailand. Gerard likes his dishes less spicy, and frequently has to swap plates with Elmi as servers assume that with his skin being that bit darker than hers, the spicier dish is for him.

Always contributing throughout her life in a volunteering capacity, Elmi has helped her local communities through active involvement in sporting organisations such as the tennis club in Hoogvliet and her children’s school.  She generously passed on her up-to-date knowledge of computer systems to the staff of other general practices and was even invited by the General Practitioners Institute of the Erasmus University in Rotterdam to teach GPs-in-training about the intricacies of organising a practice, so skilful was she.

Elmi has been the great woman behind her good man, as her husband is happy to frequently acknowledge.  When Gerard graduated and decided to remain in The Netherlands rather than return to Suriname, he opened his clinic in Rotterdam and Elmi became the practice manager, working at the same time as raising their sons.  It was fortunate that Elmi is flexible and adaptable, “an improviser” in her own words, as running a small medical practice means dealing with demands on your time that can’t be predicted.  Emergencies arise without warning, so Elmi was tasked with keeping everything working as smoothly as possible, and managing client relationships as well as their files, the practice finances, inventory, the children’s school routines and … the list goes on. It is fortuitous that Elmi is still able to step in and complete the tasks that are not Gerard’s strong suit, or that frankly hold little interest to him. To maintain a marriage for over 50 years, having complementary skill sets certainly goes a long way. When the couple returns to The Netherlands, which they do annually for about 3 months, they still run into patients of Gerard’s former practice, who greet them with thankyous and affection despite the fact that they retired 17 years ago now, with a ceremonial cutting of the stethoscope to mark the occasion.

Elmi and Gerard remain very active contributors to the local medical community. Gerard is one of the retired doctors on the Advisory Committee at BeWell Medical Centre, sharing his vast medical expertise and experience with its Thai doctors who are building a comprehensive Western-style family medical practice. In addition, Elmi supports Gerard in his role as the Chairman of the BeWell Child Care Foundation (BWCCF), which was founded in June 2022. The Foundation provides medical solutions for local individual children with a complex medical condition requiring specialised treatment and care which cannot be provided by the regular health care infrastructure in Thailand.  This treatment has given the 5 children who have been beneficiaries of BWCCF to date the possibility of a significant and sustainable improved quality of life. Elmi’s role with the Foundation has been in an organisational capacity. She has established particularly close relationships with the Foundation partners, and confided that she regards Dr Mowae as family now.  Catherine Riley-Brian, the founder of the Bamboo School, which has involvement with some of the treated children, and whom Dr Mowae regards as an additional mother, is the living person Elmi most admires, though she has respect for Barack Obama as a man of integrity, and Nelson Mandela for the ongoing strength of character he maintained across his long journey from prisoner to President.

There isn’t much on Elmi’s bucket list.  She has travelled widely in her lifetime and has done all the touristy things, citing her trip to Machu Picchu in Peru in 2008 as perhaps the most awe-inspriring and long-anticipated adventure. These days, travelling is limited to what is necessary to visit her family. Elmi claims not to have a favourite place in the world: wherever she has a bed is fine by her, as long as she has loved-ones close by. Elmi feels that just listening to people, really listening and sharing their joys, troubles, their “whatever” is the path to connecting with them. Happiness isn’t about having lots of material possessions, “you need to be happy on the kitchen table”. Loyalty, respect and trust are what Elmi gives in interpersonal relationships and what she hopes to receive in return.

As she has aged and matured, Elmi finds she has less tolerance for some of the small annoyances in life, such as people who can’t be punctual. This impatience is a very small thing compared to her overall positive and optimistic view of the world around her.  As long as she has breath and a pulse, Elmi Smit-Deurhof will be making the very best of her current situation, living in the moment.