LiLi doesn’t have very many fond memories of her childhood and now prefers to keep it locked firmly in the past, choosing not to look back.  Indeed, LiLi no-longer uses her birth name of Leslie, and is only called that name by her father. LiLi has had a challenging relationship with both parents at various times but does ensure that for the sake of all parties, her children and her parents are in frequent contact, with LiLi’s two sons spending time with her mother in France a few months ago.  LiLi knows she can always rely on her Mum being there for her when needed.  

LiLi first visited Hua Hin ten years ago when she was pregnant with her second son, Leon, and after a number of brief visits, the family decided to relocate the family from Luang Prabang in Laos to Hua Hin, for a number of reasons, one important one being that Hin’s outdoors lifestyle was attractive to LiLi. She loves living in the countryside, with its many different landscapes, yet still relatively close to Bangkok. So, just on nine and a half years ago, the family made the move, and have not regretted it. All three children in Hua Hin, two sons, Lou and Leon and a daughter, Charlie, are doing well in their respective schools and have established good social connections for themselves and participate in many extra/co-curricular activities, though LiLi says she would selfishly like to see even more sporting options available in the local area.

At school, LiLi was considered a good student even though she didn’t think of herself as academically bright.  She did all that was asked of her, in the classroom and at home, but rather than actually understanding the subject matter, her forte was in memorising it prior to exams. Her results were achieved through perspiration, not inspiration. After finishing secondary school at 18, LiLi wanted to go abroad for a year but her mother forbade it. She knew that LiLi was not in a good place, mentally, emotionally or physically.

Between the ages of 14 and 25, LiLi fought a battle with anorexia and bulimia, which left her physical resources strained.  She lost weight, felt physically weak and stopped menstruating, her doctors leading her to believe that she would never be able to have the children she had always longed for.  

LiLi acknowledges motherhood as one of the best achievements of her life.  For the last 13 years, she has focused on giving her children a positive, and indeed magical, experience of childhood.  It seems every parent aims to provide their children with what they perceive as lacking from their own childhood. LiLi, long a lover of animals, and birds in particular, began to surround her children with animals four years ago, at one stage having as many as 150 mouths to feed, including reptiles, birds, snakes, lizards, cats, a monkey, turtles, frogs, rodents and chickens. Looking after this menagerie could take LiLi up to four hours a day.  In recent times, LiLi has sadly had to cut back on the number of animals in her care due to budgetary commitments.

Although there are three children, aged eleven to six, in the family home, LiLi counts herself as mother to four.  Single, at the age of 25 and living in Laos, LiLi adopted a very newly born baby girl who she named Mimi, who is now 14. LiLi’s parents thought the move crazy, as did French officials who worried she would be arrested for kidnapping, despite the fact that the hospital told her that many other prospective parents had adopted through them. Mimi lived as the much-loved eldest child in the family and travelled to live in Hua Hin with them, a difficult cross-border move without the requisite paperwork, but eventually needed to return to Laos when she was eight.  LiLi has a Mimi-shaped hole in her heart that will likely never heal, and finds contemplating Mimi’s future, and what may happen to her, quite distressing.

As a young adult, LiLi’s mental and physical issues saw her reach rock bottom. She spent seven weeks in a coma after an attempt on her own life. When she reawakened, her father took her in a wheelchair down to the hospital foyer in an attempt to cheer LiLi up, but the trip in the elevator, complete with mirrors was a shocking experience for the emaciated woman, who could not reconcile her reflection with her self-image. Negative self-esteem, despite her many and varied accomplishments, is likely to be an on-going, permanent foe for LiLi. One of the first things LiLi did on her eventual discharge from hospital was to have her dad take her, still in a wheelchair, to the pet store near his home, to visit its resident parrot in an attempt to boost her mood, as she was not able to afford to buy one of her own.

Here in Hua Hin, LiLi visited a coffee shop one day and saw a baby bird.  She made some connections with the local bird-loving fraternity and was given permission to attend an outing of the Bin Itsara group, which means “Fly free”. On her second attendance, she took her own cockatiel, and let it fly with the other birds, only to lose it forever, since neither she nor the bird had the appropriate training.  The group, composed almost solely of Thai men, helped her source her first macaw, and trained him to fly free for her, after a wait of over three months to obtain Rajat, which means King in Thai. LiLi’s second bird, a year later, was a female she named Rajinee, Queen, and trained by herself.  Although Rajinee is the more obedient of the pair, Rajat holds the prime place in LiLi’s affections, and has even caused others to be jealous of his bond with LiLi.  Currently the birds still squabble amongst themselves, but LiLi hopes they will become a mated pair when they reach breeding age at around 5 to 6 years of age.

LiLi is now held in high esteem in her flying group and trains and sells birds to others, a unique position in what is very much a man’s domain here in Thailand.  She is also the sole regular female farang competitor in the Grand Flying Tour, an annual competition which takes place over 5 long weekends in 5 different regions of Thailand each year.  LiLi relishes the “me time” as she drives to the different venues, often journeys of many, many hours, with just her birds for company. LiLi is constantly on the look-out for new and interesting places to fly her macaws, and can often be seen on Hua Hin beach close to the Ibis hotel, nearby to her home, or down on Hua Don beach near the now defunct ferry terminal, particularly close to sunrise, her favourite flying time.

A further self-improvement goal for LiLi has been her “new me” endeavour where, through achieving physical fitness and strength goals, with a personal trainer, weight training and a Crossfit regime, she has put on ten kilograms in the last year and a half.  LiLi is taking this training very seriously and is devoting up to three hours a day to physical self-care.  The muscle groups on her back and her arms bear testament to her dedication. LiLi admits to an obsession with becoming strong, in revenge for all the times she has felt weak or not good enough. Other people clearly see LiLi’s burning passions and strength and her natural independence and compliment her on these things.  Hopefully, one day soon, LiLi will fully internalise the message that she is more than enough.

Yet, despite all this, the negative voices in LiLi’s head will not easily be silenced. Even without formal tertiary qualifications, LiLi has an impressive skillset but is yet to find its best use.  One thing she does know is that she will not make a good boss as she avoids confrontation and has difficulty giving others direct instruction. Lili is considering the possibility of running a coffee shop by herself for this reason. When she mentions her birds to others, she is regularly reminded of Parrotdise, which already has a mix of coffee shop and free-flying birds, enough to make LiLi envious. LiLi would love to be able to make a more solid contribution to the family finances, and acknowledges the  hard work needed to ensure all the childrens' material needs are met.