From the Pastor

Pastor's Corner

November 2, 2025

During November, and on this weekend especially, we give special thought to those who have died and gone before us in faith. We believe that “life is changed, not ended,” and that those who no longer walk the earth are still united with us through the communion of saints.

Our funeral liturgies help us to express this belief. A Catholic funeral rite begins with a vigil, when people gather to support the family in their loss and to help them to prepare for what’s next: the funeral Mass. During the Mass, we pray for our loved ones and commend them to God’s mercy and compassion, and we find hope of eternal life in Christ’s victory over death. In our common prayer, we receive communion and express our unity with the deceased and with all the saints. The funeral rites then typically conclude with prayers at the site of burial.

A Catholic funeral Mass, and, indeed, the whole funeral process, is not primarily a “celebration of life,” but a liturgical act of worship centered on God’s mercy, the hope of resurrection, and the salvation of the deceased’s soul. We come together to pray for our loved one and to place them in God’s care. We thank God for the gift of their life, but the heart of the Mass is about trusting in God’s mercy and the hope of eternal life with Christ. Our liturgies are not “earth-bound,” but focused on eternal happiness.

And, because of this, the Church has always prohibited eulogies at funerals.

This may come as a surprise to many people, because “eulogies” at funerals have become somewhat commonplace over the last twenty-five years or so. However, in 1989 when the Vatican published the revised Order of Christian Funerals (OCF) for the United States, the long-standing prohibition of eulogies at Catholic funerals was again upheld and restated. “A brief homily based on the readings should always be given at the funeral liturgy, but never any kind of eulogy.”

More recently, in the revised General Instruction of the Roman Missal promulgated by John Paul II in year 2000, this prohibition of eulogies was again restated: “At the Funeral Mass there should, as a rule, be a short homily, but never a eulogy of any kind.”

Why would the Church ban eulogies? Well, the word “eulogy” comes from a Greek word meaning “praise.” In traditional terms, a eulogy is a speech that focuses on what a person has achieved in his or her life. But the focus of the funeral liturgy, especially the Mass, is on our faith in God and in Christ’s victory over sin and death and his resurrection. During the funeral Mass we pray for the deceased person—but the Mass is not about the person.

With that said...it is true that many people like to offer some words of remembrance about their loved one at the funeral, and so, in our funeral rite, we do provide an opportunity for “words of remembrance.”

This may seem like a fine distinction to make, and, in fact many people refer to the reflection as a “eulogy,” but its purpose is not to boast or brag about the deceased; this accommodation is intended to allow families to reflect on how the deceased lived out their faith. But, of course, like with most things, there are abuses that occur.

Our parishes, like many others, have a policy that asks those who present words of remembrance to limit their remarks to five minutes, and we instruct them that those remarks should speak of how the deceased lived their faith in their life. The reflections need to be written and presented to the pastor for approval.

For the most part, people are somewhat compliant with the rules of the Church. However, many people go over the five-minute limit; many also have a difficult time speaking about faith; and some even say things that are inappropriate to mention in church, let alone at a Mass.

When the words of remembrance are submitted, if the guidelines are not followed, the family is asked to change it or to speak at the wake or cemetery rather than at Mass. And when that happens, the prospective speaker is not happy.

Recently, we have had a couple of instances where the speaker completely disregarded our guidelines. In one case, the family was asked to amend it or to present it at the wake or cemetery. Unfortunately, they decided that they did not have to do what the Church asked them to do, and gave the speech at the Mass.

This blatant disregard for the Church and the Mass itself has left me wondering if we should follow the lead of several other parishes in our area that do not allow words of remembrance at funeral Masses. It is unfortunate that the actions of some will affect our policy; however, the integrity of the funeral liturgy needs to be preserved, honored, and kept true to its purpose.

Our parishes’ Liturgy Committee will meet to discuss our “eulogy” policy in the near future.