Pastor's Corner
From the Pastor
April 28, 2024
Psychologists talk about the problem of young people comparing themselves to others in ways that never used to be possible.
The development of technology in general and the cell phone in particular has fostered a never-ending opportunity for people to compare themselves to everyone else in the world.
It has also fostered a growth in depression, aggression, anxiety, and suicide rates in those same people.
When people compare themselves to others, they focus on the incidentals of life, not the essentials. And this starts early on. Kids begin to pressure their parents about all kinds of things.
If you have young girls in your family, you may have experienced the new craze of children as young as kindergarten desiring skin care from Santa. Where did that come from? Who knew about skin care at 5 and 6 and 7 years old? But it was a “must-have” this Christmas.
And if you don’t have the latest on social media kids begin to feel “less than” – not part of the crowd—and not measuring up.
So what do parents do then? Everything in their power to help them fit in.
Thirty years ago, only a few kids were on sports travel teams, and, usually, they were kids who showed some promise in that sport. Today, every kid is on a travel team, not because they should be but because everyone else is. And the cost or time commitment doesn’t matter. What matters is that my kid is doing what other kids are.
It leads to parents focusing on the incidentals instead of the essentials. Is my child’s IQ as high as that child’s? Is my kid going to be the quarterback? Is my kid getting as much playing time? Does my kid have the right water cup – the right style of the right cup?
Society focuses on the wrong things!
What are the essentials that we as Catholics should be focusing on? Number one would be the Eucharist.
The most important thing that we do on the weekend is to go to church – or – to receive the Eucharist! To hear the word of God and to gather as one in God’s presence! Nothing is more important than that. Yet, sometimes, there is not even a thought about missing Mass, because other things, incidentals, are more important.
Instead of focusing on what my child has or if they are a better player than the other kid or are they prettier or smarter, mybe we need to focus on whether they are loving and compassionate and merciful.
We need to be concerned about raising children that are good disciples of Jesus, not good consumers of the popular culture.
The reality is that, at some point, a child will not completely fit in. Everyone is not the prettiest or the smartest or the best athlete - and none of that matters.
Unfortunately, however, it does matter to our young people, and thus we see their constant comparing of themselves on social media. And all of that comparing and falling short leads to anger and depression and anxiety and suicide.
Let’s work to break that cycle. Get off the comparison train and bring yourself and your family to Mass. Receive the Body of Christ. Cherish the Eucharist, and allow Jesus to fill your life.
Let go of the incidentals and focus on essentials. What really does matter is that we become loving and compassionate and are people who model Christ in every moment of our lives.
Faith Like a Child
If you Google Search recommendations on how to raise generous children, almost every list of ideas begins with — or at least contains — the directive for adults to be good models of generosity themselves. Our children learn from our actions much more than from our words. Of course, when I think back over the years while my children were growing up, I think I may have learned as much from them as they learned from me. There is a time between early childhood and middle school where a child seems to be freer to give and share than at any other time in life. It is around the age of First Communion when the cries of “mine” turn to laughter and smiles, and the urge to be a part of something bigger than oneself leads to sharing. Before you know it, the child hits the pre-teen years, and once again, he or she becomes the center of the universe. I believe that the previous paragraph is all true, however, the stages described seem to repeat themselves throughout adulthood. Don’t you agree? Sometimes we fall into seeing ourselves as the center of the universe, or we become consumed by our state in life or with what we have acquired. Also, we at times are generous and loving people. It is sin that draws us back into ourselves and away from any meaningful life of stewardship and generosity. In order to be freed for love, we need role models to help us see what really matters. We need to reflect on the example of many of our brothers and sisters in Christ. And, yes, we need to look to children who may be at the point in their lives where sharing is fun, and love is something in abundance.