Parent Interview

The Interview:

For this project, I met with my father and enjoyed a couple hours uninterrupted time to talk. I recorded the interview and have included clips on this page. I began with the following list of questions, but let the interview take its course. Compiling this information here will enable my family to enjoy these stories long into the future. This is especially important, as I have recently learned that every living member of my grandparents generation has dementia.

1. Where, and when were you born?

2. You were born, then what happened?

3. Describe a typical day from your childhood?

4. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? And why?

5. What was school like for you? Did you do well in school?

6. What was family life like? Did you spend time with extended family as a child?

7. What were your siblings like as children? Did you get along?

8. What did my grandparents do for a living?

9. Tell me about High School. Did you play an instrument? Did you play any sports?

10. Did you go to college? Why or why not? (Where, years attended, program of study)

11. Tell me about the careers you have had? Any interesting stories? Military?

12. You have travelled all over the country, where were / are some of your favorite places?

13. What are your happiest memories?

14. Do you have any regrets?

15. Is there anything else you would like me to know about you?

The Results:

What follows is a synapses of my interview. The links in parenthesis throughout the text are to audio files from the interview.

My dad was born in Connecticut on December 19^th, 1963, to parents Joyce Ward and Ralph Ring. His parents were not married at the time of his birth. He does not recall his father being around much when he was young, and when he was around, he drank heavily. At the time of his birth he lived with his mother’s parents. His family moved around a lot when he was young, living in Connecticut, Vermont, and New York. He does not recall spending time with extended family as a child, but does remember spending time with his half-siblings, who lived in Vermont.

Around the time he was in third grade, he moved with his family to Florida. This now included two younger brothers and a younger sister. His father, who was now married to his mother, was still not around much, and spent most of his time at work or out drinking. He remembers that one or both of his parents were drunk before noon, and fighting was a daily occurrence. My father describes this time in his life as growing up with a single mother. My grandmother was working at a fried chicken restaurant to support her children, and they ate fried chicken for seven months. Before going to work, she would drop off my father and his brothers at a river. She would tell him to take care of them (his brothers) and head to work. They would spend the day by the river, which in Florida was not the safest place for young boys to play. (Florida waters) Still, my father remembers this time in nature as a fun experience. He also remembers spending mass amounts of time in the bars as a child.

My father also remembers beginning school in Florida. This was in the early ‘70’s, when segregation was ending and children started to be bused to different schools. He recalls: (segregation). In middle school, he recalls being the only white person in the free lunch line. He still remembers feeling bad, and not understanding why he was the only white child without money.

Just before beginning high school, my father and his family move to Texas. He recalls that he really did not want to move to Texas. He had friends in Florida, and a girlfriend. Once they arrived in Texas, things between his parents worsened. He recalls them fighting all the time. And describes the house as living in a circus.

My father completes a couple more years of formal education before dropping out. He remembers having difficulty passing his English classes, but enjoyed math. He did not play any instruments in high school, but was interested in playing sports. He states: (baseball). He held a job between his 9^th and 10^th grade year. Then had a difficult time going back to school, because he could not work. He remembers working a 40-hour week and making about $100. He did not like school and felt like an outsider because he moved from Florida.

He recalls telling his mother about an experience he had at school one day. His mother told him to tell the guy at the school to kiss his @$$. So, the following day he goes to school and tells them what his mom told him to say. That was the last day of high school my father attended. He recalls telling his father that night and his father’s reaction: (grandpas lesson). He learned more construction from his father as time went on.

While in Texas my grandmother decided she wanted to better her life for her children. She felt that she could not depend on my grandfather to support them. She was an accomplished student while in high school and was valedictorian of her class when she graduated in 1955. (Her high school yearbook photo is included below.) She received a degree in nursing from Blinn College in 1980. She was 43 when she graduated at the top of her class. (Her college yearbook photos are also included below.) She was a nurse at the hospital, and the nursing home. She worked as a nurse until she retired around 1994.

My father knew early in his life that he wanted to be a truck driver. He fondly recalls listening to the semi-trucks come down the freeway at night. Some of his happiest memories came from learning to drive a truck. He was around 18 years old, and had already been married once. He was taught by a man named Norman Holmstead. He made his whole life about trucks. He recalls trucks being the first thing he thought about in the morning, and the last thing he thought about at night. He remembers falling asleep in the trucks some nights. He thinks that he was being selfish for wanting to do something that made him happy. He viewed truck driving as an escape from life. A chance to travel to new places that were not the life he had at home.

Now he has some regrets about his time driving truck. He recalls: (regrets).

What he regrets the most is missing out on my life. Now the adventures we share are even more meaningful. Like going hiking and sitting in a cave together, looking out over the landscape and enjoying each other’s company. We both have regrets about the time that we missed together, but I am so very grateful for the time that we have now.

More Stories:

Sledding story

Learning to swim

Hurricane story

First marriage story

Learning to be a dad

The siblings

Grandpa’s story

Photo Gallery:

Reflection:

When I told my father I was interested in interviewing him for my oral family history project his response was, "If there had been a little more oral in our history, maybe there would not be as much history." At the time, I laughed off his joke as just another inappropriate dad joke. However, after reviewing our family tree, I can see that the Ring family has historically been very good at producing children. While researching some of my ancestors, I found over fifty strangers I'm related to. It was an interesting sensation, to go from thinking there were not many of us out there, to seeing an extensive family tree and talking with strangers I am distantly related to.

I have no words to describe the power this interview with my father had for me. I do not have any memories of my father from my early life. In the memories I do have of him, he was Uncle Bob. I did not know he was my father until I was nine or ten. After my mother divorced his brother, Rodney, I had very little contact with the Ring side of my family. Whenever I asked my mother about my father she would say, "I'm sorry baby, your daddy doesn't want you." Thus, I grew up only knowing my mother. This interview gave me the opportunity to get to know my father and his history. I have included the audio files on this page so that his grandchildren and great-grandchildren will have the opportunity to hear his stories for themselves.

My father's upbringing was like the television shows of families in the 1960's and '70's. My grandfather fought in World War II and spent the rest of his life with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. He spent very little time at home with his family, and often left my grandmother to raise his four children on her own. She had to work hard and often held several jobs to support her children, including dish washing, cooking, cleaning, and any other opportunity to make money. Even with as hard as she worked to care for her children, my father still remembers standing in milk lines.

My father also remembers moving around as a child. Going where ever my grandfather could find work. This must have been challenging for the family, as they were forced to move with him, and then rarely saw him. However, this moving around provided life experiences for my father that have helped to shape him into the man he is. He has experienced things in his lifetime that I have never seen in mine. The struggles of my grandmother helped to teach him the importance of hard work, honesty, and integrity.

My father was not a prominent figure in my childhood, however, as an adult he has been my rock. In the last couple years that he has lived in New Mexico we have become much closer. He has helped to fill in the inconsistencies in the stories my mother often told me as a child. He has also helped me overcome the trauma I have experienced in my life.