Amanda's Story

If I had to give my story a central theme, it would be that it is a story of love, forgiveness, and peace.

Accepting love has almost always been hard for me. The idea that someone who really knows me could love me doesn’t seem possible.

From an outsider's viewpoint, it might seem that I’ve lived a pretty close to perfect life. From inside my heart, I know that this is far from true. As a young child some of my innocence was taken from me by someone I trusted. As a young adult, I gave what was left away. Bad decisions paved the road for years of pain and bitterness, all hidden behind a Sunday morning smile. All hidden from my parents and friends.

My first glimpse of real love was found in my husband. His strength and faith in God was different than any I had encountered before. As a lifelong church goer, I had a vast knowledge of scripture and religion, but I didn’t really understand God’s love. How could He possibly love me? Why would Jesus willingly give his life for someone like me? My brokenness was ugly and I was ashamed.

Don’t forget… all this time I looked and seemed fine on the outside.

At age 24 I gave my heart to the Lord. When I asked God for forgiveness and accepted His gift of salvation, for the first time I felt clean, accepted, and completely loved.

In the months that followed I grew in the Lord and began a more personal relationship with Him. The more I came to know Him, the more I began to understand and know His forgiveness. It became very clear to me that if He could forgive me, then I needed to forgive myself and those who hurt me as a child.

In that moment, the moment that I truly learned to forgive, I felt a peace that was and continues to be unexplainable.

In the years since I have learned that love, forgiveness, and perfect peace comes from God. I did not earn it. I do not deserve it. It is a free and perfect gift from Him.