Thatcher is Sus

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A phone call between Thatcher and Jude. To the left are their photos; in Thatcher's he is looking to the right with his hand out as if the block the camera; Jude's photo is a silhouette of a person with a question mark over the face. To the right, their dialogue is written out with audio waves in the background.

[phone dialing]

Thatcher: [cough] [sniff] Aw- aw man... [clears throat] Sorry, uh, 911, what is... your emergency.

Jude (crying): Please. You gotta help me. I was just doing my tasks in Med Bay, and I think... I think I saw the Red Crewmate vent.

Thatcher: Sir, calm down. Uh, there's a perfectly good...

Jude: Oh no. I think I just saw him go by. I think he's the imposter.

Thatcher: [sigh]

[feedback screech]

Thatcher: Ah- Oh God! Uh, sorry. Sir, does this... [sigh] "imposter" look at all, um...

[screech]

Thatcher: Ow! Fuck! Uh, "sus?"

Jude: No.

Thatcher (shouting): What about a... "baka?"

Jude: No, no! He's just standing there... not really like, menacingly or anything. But he's pretending to do his tasks. I don't think I'll be able to reach the the emergency button in time.

Thatcher: Okay, don't worry, uh. We'll find someone to help, I think-

[screech]

Thatcher: What part of the ship are you in at the moment?

[screech]

Thatcher (shouting): Ow! Jesus, I know it's the fuckin' 90s and we're dealing with monsters and shit, but fix your fuckin' phone!! It's like a lot of feedback! I've seen bodies ripped in half, and fucking torn to pieces.. but this shit still bugs me more. Figure your shit out!

[among death sound (dramatic strings and stabbing)]

Jude's photo has been replaced with a dead among us body, which shows the little crewmate cut in half with a large bone sticking out the middle.

Thatcher: Sir? Oh no.

["among us trap remix" by Leonz plays.]

Jude's photo is now a regular among us character.

[The instrumental to "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake plays. ]

The end card says, "This has been a parady of Alex Kister's The Mandela Catalogue Vol.333, Starring: Teenage Disaster as Thatcher Davis, Voiceover Requim as Jude Murray."

Then, it says, "Yes, we are the canon VAs. No, this is not canon. Unless Alex says it is. Please support the official release."