“How was school?”

“Fine.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

If you've ever had this conversation, you're not alone.

We want to know what's going on in our children's lives. We want to know what they're thinking, feeling, struggling with and celebrating.

But sometimes our questions don't get us very far.

And here's why this matters for discipleship:

Good discipleship often begins with a good question.

Ask better questions

Jesus was a master at asking questions.

“Who do you say I am?”

“Why are you so afraid?”

“What do you want me to do for you?”

His questions weren't designed simply to gather information. They helped people think about their hearts, their choices and their relationship with God.

We can do something similar with our children.

Instead of only asking:

“Did you have a good day?”

Try:

“What was the best part of your day?”

Instead of:

“Did you behave?”

Try:

“Was there a moment today when you had to make a difficult choice?”

Instead of:

“Are you okay?”

Try:

“Was there anything today that made you worried or upset?”

Instead of simply asking what happened, ask why it mattered.

And then listen

This might be the most important bit.

Don't ask a question you don't have time to listen to the answer to.

Sometimes our children don't need another lesson.

They need us to sit beside them and listen.

Listen to their excitement.

Listen to their worries.

Listen to their frustrations.

Listen when they tell you something that seems completely insignificant.

Because when we listen, we learn what's going on in their hearts.

And those things can become opportunities to point them towards Jesus.

Your child says:

“I'm scared about tomorrow.”

You can ask:

“What are you worried about?”

And then:

“Would you like to pray about it together?”

Your child says:

“Everyone else got invited except me.”

You can listen, empathise and perhaps ask:

“What do you think Jesus would want you to remember when you feel left out?”

Your child tells you they did brilliantly in an exam.

Celebrate with them!

And then:

“What are you thankful to God for?”

The aim isn't to turn every conversation into a sermon.

It's to help our children learn that Jesus matters in every part of life.

So, this week, ask one more question

You don't need a list of fifty discipleship questions.

Just try asking one better question.

At dinner.

In the car.

At bedtime.

Walking home from school.

And then listen.

Because sometimes a simple question can open a door into a child's heart.

And behind that door might be an opportunity to talk about fear, friendship, failure, forgiveness, temptation, gratitude, identity—or Jesus.

You don't always need to have the perfect answer.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ask, listen, and then help your child look to Jesus.

🧠 ONE THING TO REMEMBER

Good discipleship often begins with a good question—and a willingness to really listen to the answer.

THIS WEEK AT HOME

📖 READ: Proverbs 20:5

💬 ASK: “What's something you've been thinking about lately that you haven't told me?”

🙏 PRAY: “Lord, help me to listen well and help me to know when to point my child towards you.”

👣 TRY: Replace “How was school?” with one open question this week—and give your child the time and space to answer.