TV Land!
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The people inside the TV set can talk to you while you're sitting on your couch!
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The people inside the TV set can talk to you while you're sitting on your couch!
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Do you want to see real life examples of 'cable news people at play' by seeing them talk to viewers right thru the TV set?
Yes you do!
So here it is - (15) hilarious examples of cable news people, and their guests, talking to people (well, me exactly) on the other side of the TV. These are not in chronological order and they are just a sampling because remember this stuff went on for over twelve years - this riotous stuff all began in the late nineties and lasted until around 2012. And no matter what state I was in the four major cable news channels would somehow know when I was watching and then . . .
And they're mind readers!
So here you go. And remember there's proof of everything. And then don't forget to read the last two chapters at the bottom of the page -
So how is all of this even possible you ask?
And hey sitcom industry wake up!
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(Autumn '98, Woodland Hills, CA)
There's always your first clue - I'm watching from the couch an evening political talk show (could be best ever) when the TV show's political talk show host gave his standard nightly sign-off - a thrown kiss and a peace sign - only this one time with a "bifurcation" remark to go with it. Just for me too. Because this just happened to be the 'word' that I had been constantly thinking about for days!
BUT HOW DID HE KNOW THIS?
You see after a recent disconcerting experience in Van Nuys - spent way too much money - I realized the next morning that this amazing word 'bifurcation' would - just by repeating it silently to myself every so often for the next few days - magically 'separate out' the financially woeful experience from my everyday thinking. And it worked!
BUT HOW DID THIS TV SHOW HOST EVEN KNOW THIS?
AND HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW THAT I WAS WATCHING?
I was amused and intrigued both!
And I didn't know it yet but this was just the beginning!
He needs to do another 'Secret Vault' special - only this time he'll hit pay dirt.
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(2009 maybe ? - Glenville, NY)
While watching the show I suddenly stood up to leave the living room right in the middle of one of their group financial discussions to get more coffee when the host inside the TV stopped me right in my tracks (apparently she could see my desire to flee from right thru the TV set) while I was still only half way up from my sitting position -
"Hey wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" she said,
"sit back down we aren't finished yet!"
"OK OK," I said to the TV person, right back thru the TV set, and sat right back down.
I had apparently provoked her wrath!
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(late 2009 maybe?)
The first ever cable news multi channel triple play ever! The twisted lips thing - three different days, two different channels, two different hosts.
day 1: The MSNBC host suddenly notices that I'm now watching so she stops talking for a second and then gives me the friendly twisted lips thing - right thru the TV set!
day 2: The next day, same time same place, I give it right back to the very same host in the very same way - and she could tell (her chuckle gave it away)!
day 3: The day after that a FOX afternoon news show host suddenly notices that I'm now watching HIS show and he then playfully pauses and then fires away a twisted lips thing of his own. Right back at me!
True story!
Hey when did MSNBC and FOX start sharing data?
Some stuff is from outer space!
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(2008 - Glenville, NY)
The morning guest political analyst - an elderly fellow and well seasoned but unfortunately politically misguided - while discussing the upcoming election with another stand-in guest, is finally forced to get right to the point ...
"are you going to look me in the eyes right now and tell me that 'running mate such and such' (never use proper nouns) is qualified to be the President ..."
And I had just taken a sip of coffee … but I could not now hold it in … because laughter suddenly just erupted and so the coffee just burst forth ... and all over everything ... and much to the delight of the guest ... who could somehow see the whole thing and was last seen chuckling with glee !!!
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(Feb '04 maybe ? - Glenville, NY)
This one is hard to describe . . . while signing off one night the lady host notices that I'm also now watching and it's some sort of holiday or something in February and so she ends her broadcast by pausing briefly and then leaning right into the camera saying -
"oh and by the way a big big happy birthday ..."
And as I recall there was a brand new dress, beautiful, and gold everywhere!
Question though: I still need to know who sent those fake checks?
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(early '04 or '03 ? - Glenville, NY)
I was sitting on the couch one night and watching one of MSNBC's early evening political shows - 'Hardball' I think - when without warning two elderly yet divinely healthy looking middle aged gents in suits appeared as the show's evening guests.
I can't remember how they were introduced - I mean they weren't famous for anything or at least not anymore but who knows who they've been in the past. But for now they were just 'divine assistants' having a lot of fun by appearing on an MSNBC evening show and waving hello.
One was dressed in a nice light grey colored suit and the other in a nice dark one. And they were both very joyous. And they made it clear that they both knew that I'd be watching and they were enjoying making humorous references to some of my uncannily accurate 'Mr. Smith's' predictions back in '94.
DIVINE SOULS AT PLAY !!!
I must have known them once really really well but seriously who the heck are they? Please get your hands on the show's archived tape and study it and then let me know too!
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(late 2008 maybe ? - Glenville, NY)
One of the show's hosts - an elderly Bostonian fellow - says to the special financial guest of the day as she's finally departing from the morning show -
"and hey 'special guest' (no proper nouns) I just really want to thank you once again for being on our show this morning. It is always SUCH A PLEASURE . ."
"OK," replied the guest sarcastically, and now needing a clever response, and now ready for war - "you know what . . . "
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(early 2009, Glenville, NY)
I was worried one morning about an upcoming court appearance but then it dawned on me - just ask 'TV Land' what they think.
So I did - I turned on one of CNBC's early morning shows because I knew, once they realized that I was watching that they would, in their own riotous way, provide me with some very 'timely' information. And they sure did - but only after making me sweat it out!
I turned on their show and then one of the daily hosts, once he realized that I was now watching, suddenly stopped what he was saying and instead he turned to the day's special guest (former 'neutron Jack' CEO) and says:
"he's what? he's toast?"
And then the guest, who was sitting across the table, is then actually shown holding up a sign that says 'toast' . And they knew that I was watching and they knew that I was very concerned about the days upcoming legal stuff and that that's why I was tuning in to their show in the first place because like I said I knew that they would somehow tell me the answer. And then what I get is the word 'toast!' And a sign to go with it. For effect - for cruel and unusual effect. And they were both grinning gleefully.
They were probably once Fisk and Gould!
Then the show's other morning host suddenly jumps in and she says
"They're just kidding!"
And just in time too - it prevented 8 simultaneous massive aortal things. And then the three of them shared a nice chuckle.
There have been at least 19 of these playful 'media-clairvoyants ' over the years - like the one that just 'jumped in' - and they really can do this crazy off the wall mind reading stuff -
RIGHT THRU THE TV SET !!!
DIVINE SOULS AT PLAY !!!
And as you can see I'm not kidding. And it's the funniest stuff on earth. And I think that this one, all things considered, broke every riotous record.
One fine morning - same show different date - shattering the previous record of only 12!
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2008 - 2012
This show was hysterical and it's antics over the seasons would fill at least a three volume set. And one night as I was watching one of the original panel of five suddenly blurts out
“and there are no atheists in foxholes!”
And this is then unanimously acknowledged by everybody else with a collective chuckle. But on this particular night one of the cast members got a little bit overly excited - and he hasn't been seen or heard from since! And his body's never been found!
Those CNBC bosses apparently have their rules!
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(late 2009 maybe ? - Glenville, NY)
The male co-host suddenly pauses at the beginning of the morning show and then turns to his female co-host from 'down under' and says:
"and can I just say before we continue that you really make my heart go pitter patter"
and the other host immediately and cheerfully fires back with -
"Oh I'm so very happy to hear that ..."
They're mind readers!
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(mid 2000's - '09 maybe ? - Glenville, NY)
Before turning on the TV I said to myself -
"now listen, just blink your eyes really slowly while you're watching, so that then you'll actually HEAR the news, And then all of this riotous - right thru the TV set playfulness - won't distract you.”
But it didn't work - because the next thing I know as soon as the host notices that I'm watching she pauses for a moment and then she just starts blinking really slowly right into the camera as she's talking.
And giggling.
Everybody's funny -
and plus this proves that I own the copyrights to everything -
because it was my idea first - to blink!
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I sat down one afternoon to catch up on current events and right after I turned on the TV a hand came right thru the screen and handed me a perfectly made drink and on the end of the stir stick was one of those little umbrellas like you see in the tropics. But that was it - I guess one is all you get!
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(early 2010's ? - Glenville, NY)
The show's guest (a former Mr. Speaker) says to the show's host - right after being asked a serious news question and also right after being quickly informed somehow by the 'deep state' that I was now watching the show from some afar TV set -
"well, the compliment about the tie not withstanding, now let me answer your question...”
Because you see I had just remarked out loud, while sitting in my chair, and while he was being asked the news question, something about his tie. Out loud!
Wow they can HEAR everything too! And in real time!
He should have run for office with 'Mr. bifurcation' (top of page) as running mate. They'd have gotten elected!
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(2005 ? - Scotia, NY)
The guest (the late great 'Prince of Darkness') pauses and then while grinning looks right into camera and says
“... oh and by the way how's Scotia NY tonight?"
Which was right where I happened to be sitting! And so now I can just say that that made me feel 'uncomfortable' and then CNN would have to fork over $400 million ...
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(sometime between late 2008 and early 2009 , morning show)
"Hey why stop at twelve?"
I heard the host say, as he and 11 other morning guests were all grinning in their respective boxes (just like that Hollywood Squares TV show) after just being introduced to the viewing audience.
"Let's get three more boxes in here what do you say?"
And this was the only time ever!
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(early September, 1997, Morehead, Minnesota motel)
And here's another true 'TV land' story just for kicks. Just before flying back to Minnesota at the end of my 6 week so-called get-away-from-it-all EU vacation I was drinking one night with a local fellow in a little French town and he asked me strait up ...
"What's the U.S. really like?"
And by now I had grown tired of telling people the usual "It's OK I guess" so I responded with
"The truth? You want the truth? It's an Orwellian nightmare!"
And then after landing back in the states a couple of days later I checked into a cheap motel in a small Minnesota town - mid afternoon - and I at once turned on the TV set and as soon as it came on the guy in the TV suddenly stopped what he was saying and then, after pausing for a second, looked right into the camera and very sternly said ...
"It ISN'T an Orwellian nightmare!"
It then returned to it's regular programming without delay.
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The way I see it these Divine assistants that I have (read Divine Interventions and Timely Communiques ) always know what I'm thinking and so they can tell these TV hosts just what to say and do for maximum riotous effect. Either that or they can with their souls just temporarily enter right into the lives of the TV hosts directly and steer the ship from there. You make the call.
So let the word go forth! All the people of the world should get to see this stuff because it would really lift their spirits because it proves that we do indeed have divine and immortal souls and that these souls, once they've achieved 'Divine Enlightenment' like these Divine Assistants obviously have, can really have a ball. Even inside of TV sets!
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While reading everything on this page please keep in mind that your sitcom comedy writers could be having a field day with this stuff - 'just when you thought it was safe to watch the news'. New guest star each week - different comedian (proven track records preferred). In fact, insist that they write their episode's script themselves. It cuts down on the overhead. And then they will run with the ball for sure - their characters will probably suddenly get pulled into the show that they're watching and then ...
So there you go!
And as you know I own the copyrights to everything!
In the mean time a secret investment fund must be created immediately from both 'big shot' and 'little shot' investors alike - everyone's got a few bucks. And then the fund must loan me all the money because I need it for traveling purposes. Because a few months of 'backroads research while traveling in secret' is now necessary or the all important The North Anna River Standoff book never gets finished. Those are just the rules.
And remember you're all 'investing' - so of course you'll get rich!