At 14 I was the school slut

Men first groped my body in elementary school.  Mr Greer tweaked my mosquito bite nipples when lifting me up to do chin-ups.  Big sis joked about the Kessler finger when Mr K beaconed me to sit on his lap at recess.  I wanted to play four square.

Dad raged himsekf to death in June 1968.  Brother Jack didnt finish moving a pile of gravel.  Dad went out after dinner,  shoveled the pile, came in, took an antacid for the slowly burning chest pain heralding his MI,  grumbled at my sibs who were playing monopoly, went to bed and died.  I was too busy catching lightning bugs to kiss him goodnight his last night on earth

Dad arraged for me and Bis Sis to transfer to Winchester Thurston, 

a swanky girls' school where I wore a Black Watch jumper and entered a fourth grade class where the  other girls had been speaking French since Kindergarten.

Mom moved us to California in time for Santa Ana winds and the Porter Ranch fire up the street  followed by the Sylmar quake on her birthday in '71.  I settled into elementary school with a pull-out gifted class once a week.  I'm still email friends with a few of  my smart girl cohort.

True story.  Mike and I were fooling around on  his mom's waterbed after summer school when he splooged.  I was a virgin, never saw nor felt the penis that impregnated me.

Mom found out when I barfed in the aisle at Ralphs.  She gave me two concussions that fall, slamming my head against the pantry doors.  She said, "I'd rather kill you than have you grow up as a slut."   My school counselor advocated for boarding school.  It was 1974.  Mandatory reporting hadn't been thought up.

Planned Parenthood was amazing.    We had a consciousness-raising session while waiting to have our wombs vacuumed.  A lesbian said she couldnt say no to cock.  PP prescribed the Pill which stopped the metrorrhagia that period stained my jeans.  Bio teacher once asked if I had been rolling in paint.  Cringe.

I had sex with guys because giving a handie in their car earned me a half hour of a dude geeking out about their interests.  When I did find a boyfriend at RenFaire he accepted the story that I was on the Pill to regulate my periods  We had a lovely two years of  of sex then went our separate ways to college.

Mom's solution to my promiscuity  was saxophone lessons and Reseda Youth Band.  Brother Jack was a talented muscian, renowned among my friends for practicing bagpipes in the bathroom while we listened to Dr Demento on Sundays.   I was not.  i played alto sax badly, always last chair.

We performed at Disneyland so often that we got bored with the rides.  Martha and I picked up guys instead

gave a memorable blowie on Mr Toad's ride one July fourth.

Giving a dude a 'hand massage' in their car at nutrition break earned me a half hour of them talking about their interests.  I wasnt the kind of girl you took to the school dance, rather the chick you hooked up with in an alley after., got your animal needs met and dumped a trash can over when i returned to class after my first abortion.