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tell an adult!
tell an adult!
When you see signs of depression in someone, report it right away. The most important thing you can do as a friend of someone who is depressed is to reach out to an adult. As a friend, you can also provide support and be there; however, it is an adult's place to get them help and treatment, not yours. Do not make this about yourself.
some Dos and Don'ts when helping a friend with depression
(8)some Dos and Don'ts when helping a friend with depression
#1 - Listen
#1 - Listen
Have a conversation about the concerns and questions you have for them. Make sure to actively listen while showing validation and empathy. Continue to listen throughout the entire process.
#2 - SUPPORT
#2 - SUPPORT
Some teenagers do not know how to find support; be their bridge. Help them find possible counseling and encourage them to go through with it.
#3 - therapy
#3 - therapy
Encourage them to continue therapy. Remind them of the benefits and how it has helped/could help them.
#4 - SELF-CARE
#4 - SELF-CARE
When helping someone with depression, make sure to have proper boundaries. Do not take the depression onto yourself. Create a plan and tell them how you feel. Take the time to understand your own emotional limits as well.
#5 - learn
#5 - learn
Understanding the nature of depression allows the friend to open up about their personal feelings, rather than explaining what the illness is. By learning what depression is, you shift the focus from the general illness to the specific person.
#6 - offer help
#6 - offer help
When a person is depressed, sometimes things that seem simple to you could seem overwhelming to them. Offer to do chores and daily tasks with them.
#7 - invite
#7 - invite
When a friend is depressed, they might not feel like making plans, however, keep inviting them! Let them know that you are reaching out, but understand if they cannot follow through.
#8 - be patient
#8 - be patient
One of the hardest things about depression is that, like many illnesses, it takes time to heal. Be patient knowing that their depressive symptoms will not go away immediately, even though they are trying their hardest.
#9 - contact
#9 - contact
If your friend begins to draw back and isolate, reach out and let them know that you are there. Send small daily texts or calls and just let them know that you still care.
#10 - know symptoms
#10 - know symptoms
Depression is usually confused with sadness. However, depression has many symptoms besides sadness. Educate yourself on them - I have a link under "What is depression?".
#1 - Don't take it personally
#1 - Don't take it personally
Depression is no one's fault, understand that. Their symptoms may include anger, frustration, or isolation. Avoid blaming them for the things they do; it is not them, it is the depression. It is also not you.
#2 - Don't Try to fix it
#2 - Don't Try to fix it
As much as we want to help as friends, depression is a serious condition and must be treated professionally. Sometimes when you are trying to help, you could in turn say something that hurts them more than it helps.
#3 - Don't give advice
#3 - Don't give advice
Going back to #2, do not fix it. We often know of things that could help your friends, such as diet change or exercise. However, when in a state of depression, it is hard to make these changes and could bring more guilt to them because they're unable to do that at the moment. Advise only when asked.
#4 - Don't minimize Experience
#4 - Don't minimize Experience
If your friend speaks of their depression, saying things such as "we've all been there" or "it could always be worse" minimizes their feelings. Depression is different from sadness, as in it is long term. What they are feeling is valid, no matter anyone else's experience or struggles.
#5 - Don't speak of medication
#5 - Don't speak of medication
Medication is a personal decision for your friend and their family, not you. Encouragement can be helpful, but that is ultimately their decision to make and should not be fought or discouraged.
#6 - Don't keep quiet
#6 - Don't keep quiet
The most important part about depression is to know when it reaches past your point of helping. Depression can put them at risk of suicide, self-injury, or injuring others. If you suspect this, call 911 or an emergency hotline, and keep them out of harm's way until a solution arises. The following are signs of serious suicidal intentions:
- Extreme mood swings and personality changes
- Talking about death/dying
- Buying weapons
- Substance use
- Risky actions
- Giving away things that are important to them
- Talk of feeling trapped or wanting a way out
- Isolating themselves from everyone around them
- Saying goodbye to people they love
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