Date Written: 9 August 2023
My Age: 19
Why am I so harsh on myself? It makes no sense. I am so positive at times but yet it is hard to look in the mirror. I chose to ignore the negatives in others but accentuate the ones in myself.
The mind is simply a parasite consuming 1/3 of the energy our body acquiers. And for what, unlike the bacteria that live in our stomaches whom establish a biome within which our health is maintained, our mind can do more harm than good.
How is it logical that a living creature has a body part that threatens its very existence. Death can be assured not by a lack of water nor food but rather by a single thought. A single persistent thought of self hatred pulsating and making its way to the forefront of our existence.
For even a virus knows not to kill off its host.
How stupid is it that our predecessors sole goal of survival and reproduction can be halted by a byproduct of their own evolution.
And even with this realization I love myself no more than before I wrote this note. I am conscious of the incompetence of such thoughts and yet they roam my brain festering on my day to day thoughts. Unkept, unmanageable, feral beliefs I can not kennel.