"Religion - George Carlin"

1.     Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.

2.     Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day.

3.     And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do.

4.     And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of time.

5.     But he loves you.

6.     He loves you and he needs money. He always needs money.

7.     He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing and all-wise.

8.     Somehow just can't handle money.

9.     Religion takes in billions of dollars.

10.  They pay no taxes and they always need a little more.

11.  Now you talk about a good bullshit story.

12.  Holy shit.

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