"The Devil Wears Prada"

EMILY:

Excuse me, where do you think you’re going--

(ANDY keeps running.ANDY walks in, very upset. NIGEL looks up, surprised.)

ANDY:

She hates me, Nigel.

NIGEL:

And that’s my problem because – Oh!wait,

no. Not my problem.

ANDY:

I don’t know what else I can do? Because if I do something right, it’s unacknowledged, she doesn’t even say thank you, but if I do something wrong—she is vicious.

NIGEL:

So quit.

(She looks at him)

ANDY: What?

NIGEL: Quit!

I'll get another girl take your job in five minutes.

One who really wants it.

ANDY:

But no...I don’t wanna quit. That’s not fair. But you know that I’m just saying that I would just like a little credit for the fact that I’m killing myself trying.  

NIGEL:

Andy, Be serious. You’re not trying. You are whining.

What is it that you want me to say to you huh?

Do You want me to say poor you, Miranda is picking on you? Poor you, poor Andy, mh?

Wake up! Six.

She’s just doing her job.

Don’t you know that you were working at the place that published some of the greatest artist of the century -Halston, Lagerfeld, De La Renta and what they did, what they created was greater than art.

Because you live your life in it –Well, not you, obviously but some people.

You think this is just a magazine, this is not just a magazine.

It’s a shining beacon of hope for, oh, I don’t know.

Let’s say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers, pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight.

(He picks up steam as he talks.)

NIGEL:

You've no idea how many legends have walked these halls and what’s worse, you don’t care.

Because this place where so many people would die to work, you only gain to work.

And you want to know why she doesn’t kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star on your homework at the end of the day?

Wake up , sweetheart!

(He looks at her.)

ANDY:

Okay, so I’m screwing it up. And I don’t want to I just wish that I knew what I could do……

(She looks at him. He realizes what she’s asking.)

ANDY:

NIGEL……NIGEL...NIGEL……

(NIGEL swings open the door to......a large room piled high with shoes, bags, clothes, furs,jewelry. ANDY follows, looking around at everything.)

NIGEL:

No,

I don’t know what you expect me to do.

There’s nothing in this whole closet that’s all fit a size six, I can guarantee you.

There are all sample sizes -- 2 and 4.

All right! We’ll join this for you…and…

ANDY:

A... poncho?

NIGEL:

You’ll take what I give you and you’ll like it.

NIGEL: We’re doing this DOLCE for you and…shoes—Jimmy Choo、Manolo Blahnik.

Andy: Wow!

NIGEL: Nancy Gonzalez. Love that!

NIGEL: Okay, Narciso Rodriguez, this we love.Uh……it might fit, it might.

Andy: What?

NIGEL: okay, now, CHANEL, you’re in desperate need of CHANEL.

(As she catches the clothing.)

NIGEL:

Darling, shall we?

We have to get you to the beauty department.

And God knows how long that’s going to take.

(EMILY is talking to SERENA.)

EMILY:

I mean I have no idea why Miranda hired her.

SERENA:

Me, neither. The other day we were in the Beauty Department and she held up the Shu Uemura eyelash curler and said “What is this?”

(They laugh at the total absurdity of this.)

EMILY:

I mean, I just knew from the moment I saw her-she was going to be a complete and utter--disaster.

(And suddenly ANDY appears in her gorgeous clothes)

(voice trailing)

ANDY:

Miranda Priestly’s office. No, actually she’s not available, but I’ll leave the words.

OK, thanks, bye.

EMILY:

How did—

Are you wearing the Ch—

ANDY:

The Chanel boots? Yeah, I am.

SERENA:

You look good.

What? She does.

EMILY:

Oh, Shut up, Serena.